The cleanoseat

I was reminded of this by a recent post, a week or so ago DW and myself were enroute to a curry when we spotted the cleanoseat in a shop window.

Being a bit of a gadget lover, I was drawn to the control panel of this mighty beast. Some of the buttons are self explainatory, but I'd love some suggestions for the rest:

bottom left above the red button intreges me, as does the picture of the woman's face.

Maybe the woman's hace is for this feature.

This bidet, specially conceived for female douching, is designed with women’s hygiene and health in mind. The sterilizing-water bidet is an optimal sanitation solution for preventing gynecological diseases and is great for use during the convalescence period after child delivery. Moreover, the bidet comes with a massaging function, which can be activated by pressing the massage button.

and the button over the power button may be for the heated air temperature???

Searched google and found a site

I'm thinking something simpler, like a call the nurse/attendant button.

or maybe it produces a warm cup of coffee with 'fresh" water.

*faints*

I think you are confusing toilet seat with an airline seat.

No wait, you are right. They both are same.

It's a 3 way setting for the seat temperature. The one on t'other side is actually water temperature.

See Instruction Manual

@roots
I would guess this coffee might be better than the one you get on planes.

Keydeck, that's not the same manual as for the control Ben has up there. I didn't see any woman's head in your link.

I guess the red button is the electric heater under the seat to keep your ass from being cold when you first sit down on the toilet

I don't think the lady button is for nurse/attendant tho. there is no clue that the lady is a nurse.. but what it could be remains a mystery to me. as are couple of other buttons actually. like the colorful one left of the heater..

but the idea is awsome.. any idea how much it costs brokenm??

This thing doesn't look very safe to me. The manual has 2 pages with warnings

As I said, that's the seat heater. The other is the water temp.


True, it's a slightly different model.

I like the safety "stop" button, just in case things get too crazy.

The "face" button may be an instant bathing cap if things go haywire. I like the button underneath it most: It looks like a boobie-spray but probly is the bidet function.

i like the fact that you found this on route to a curry

Right-hand 'blue button' three down:

I suspect this is what is commonly known in the world of Genital husbandry as a 'Gnad buffer.' It basically works on the George Foreman 'speed ball' principle and should only be utilised by chaps with balls of steel - or English gentlemen - preferably from the south.

edit: disconcerted smiley added for visual impact.

or that could be the butt polisher button. Looks as if it is being spritzed.. man needs no longer to wipe his own bum

Obviously none of you have been to Japan otherwise you would already have come across these high- tech toilets! They are pretty common there and when visiting last year I couldn't work out what any of the buttons were for - I think everything humanly possible is covered with exception perhaps of an ejection button Half the time I couldn't even work out how to flush the bloody things!

Anyone actually ever used a bidet before? I've got one in my new apartment, but I think it'll soon be covered and turned into a magazine rack.

Yes, and I think they're very practical. If you're lucky enough to have one it would be a crime not to use it! As for "how to", just google "bidet use instructions", for example. I just did - you'll find all you ever wanted to know, and more. Some details are pretty gross and in my opinion unnecessary (you'll see for yourself when you start reading), but they do explain pretty well how to use it.