Caption competition

Just looking at this http://www.therme-badwoerishofen.de/index.html website and it looks like these two are having a chat:

What might they be saying do we think?

i think i can get my fist in, perhaps even up to my elbow...

pass the lighter, i will show you what lighting a fart should look like!

I hope you don't think it impolite that I am playing with my knob whilst chatting you up?

f it ive got shit on my towel, ive sharted!

Come on, spread your legs just a little bit.

"Is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Do you come here often?

I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

Nice titties... down boy, down!

Him - "i post regulary on Toytown and am obsessed with nudity and sexual imagery"
Her (rolling eyes and closing legs) - "yeah great"

"The illumination here is perfect, isnt it?"

And afterwards...?

No work, free beer and girls supplied. Tarzan decides life in the Zoo is not so bad after all.