Starting a cult in Germany

Here is my plan

I wanna be Swami Roots. Bhagwan Roots or Guru Roots if you prefer.

I want to brainwash people about the benefits of free love and nudity, and make them my servants for my personal pleasure.

I can speak lot of bullshit after 2 beers and I know a thing or two about eastern philosophy, voodoo, tantric sex and hedonism --the fundamental basis for Rootism.

Basically this is an evil plan to build enormous wealth sitting on my ass. Of course, my followers do not know about it because they are under my hypnotic spell.

So, anybody know the rules and regulations about starting a cult in Germany?

oooh, can I join? I've been a member several dodgy religious sects and wouldn't mind adding another to my repertoire.

I dont know the rules but I am already under your influence master
Please show me the route pure rootism

of course Silva. All gullible minds are welcome to join.

If all I need is a gullible mind then i must be in too
Please Please Master Roots!

My mind is not young but my body is willing (if a little bit soft in the middle)

Rus, you know you have always been my favourite disciple.

Do we get funky robes and sing songs like Polyphonic Spree?

Where is the sign up list?

what do you have to do to become a highpriestess?

I think the idea is there are no robes...its about being free of the clothes that burden us...

I think the hypnosis is already working

Robes are good
as well as those little finger cymbals that Hari Krishna used

I nominate Carm as High Priestess

Can we make this a Pagan cult, I much prefer these?

The idea is appealing...As far as I understand there is no rule or law by which u can start a cult...you just need to amass followers who abide by ur doctrine….& the nos. should keep on increasing….U need to be as controversial as possible cos' the media needs to hype u up ( an essential factor)..Once u are set & the business is established u'd have ur cult ready...

The introductory post might defile ur credibility, I recommend you withdrawing this immediately

btw..were u trying to take a piss at OSHO.

Only if we have to worship her lots and can be treated as her slaves

nah, OSHO is boring.

Rajneesh was where all the action was. Time to revive him.

100+ Rolls Royces and 500 years worth of sex in one life. Can't beat that

[img]http://www.oshoviha.org/VihafromDeva/osho-viha-meditation.jpg[/img]

Oh bugger I misread the title...

Roots actually wants to be a CULT...

Sorry!

Hansane wali baat, Maaaster Rooots Woould yoou like mee to lick your boooots again, Maaaster?

This can be the preamble:

Scientists have determined that the average time of love-making is four minutes. The average number of strokes per minute is nine, making the average love-making thirty-six strokes. Since the average length is six inches, the average girl receives two hundred and sixteen inches or eighteen feet per love-making. The average girl does it three times per week, fifty-two weeks annually -- one hundred and fifty times eighteen makes 2,700 feet, or just over half a mile. So, my girl, if you are not getting your half a mile every year, why not let the man who helped u read this post catch up?

I'm ready for my colonic now O Swami

Excuse you? Four minutes? Which "scientists" determined that? For fuck's sake, if it takes less time to fuck than to make a cuppa (or even get undressed), what's the point?


Try 130, which is why most dance music is also designed to be 130bpm. And that doesn't include the fast jackhammer which figures in around 300 strokes/min.


The global average is 103 times a year. Duration of actual thrusting according to both the Durex and the Kinsey surveys averages between only 6 and 12 minutes. WTF?

woof.

Don't know about the rules roots, but I'm guessing you need various translations, 3 different copies of 12 different forms and a letter from your grandmother's paperboy. Sure it's worth the effort?

I think I know what regular curry nights are about now.

Damn have we been found out!

I'm not quite sure if I want to follow a guy with a pile of merde on his head.

Well, for a start the "Bayerisches Kirchensteuergesetz" says you are allowed to tax your followers up to a maximum of 10 % of their income tax payments. And if you manage to find at least 25,000 followers in Bavaria, the IRS will collect the money for you, and all Bavarian employers will automatically deduct the tax from your followers' paychecks. Good service, eh?

The church tax is a deductible for the income tax, so all you atheists out there, take note: Paying money to Roots is a tax-saving scheme! For every Euro you pay to Roots, you save up to 45 cents in income tax!

I knew it. I knew it !!

See, giving me money saves you money.

Rootism works

Thanks tom_a. I will make you incharge of the treasury

The first thing you'll need to do is see your notary and fill some forms in, then register with the Court, and then wait five years for your application to be processed.

Alternatively get a few of the boys together with some guns and try and 'take' Odeonsplatz - though I understand that that's been tried before.

@ Jimbo

Are you havign a bad day?

You seem to want to take over the world or beat someone up this afternoon.
May I suggest you read the guilty pleaseures thread and find something that can be your "Chill Pill"

I think the route to Rootism is through love.
Or at least we will call it that whilst we all get naked and indulge in a Hedonistic lifestyle

think you have missed to boat on this one, some guy called David Icke started it years ago

@ roots

Roots So is this what all the eunuchs are for?
If they're around then count me out. Don't care how much money I save.

oh Jeeves, you of all should know that almost all the eunuchs turn out to be girls. Surprize is good.

(4 girls, 17 boys, 10 eunuchs) so far. Thats will be at least 10 chickas this evening.

is'nt Toytown a cult.it seems with all the rules and regulations if you don't conform you get thrown into the lions den

@roots

for tips on starting a cult I would recommend reading this book Join Me: The True Story of a Man Who Started a Cult by Accident by Danny Wallace.

He got the idea from his German (maybe Austrian can't remember) grandfather so there should be lots of tips to help you get started.

I take back the David Icke bit I just had a look at the wiki
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Icke

he doesnt mention free sex and seems you have to wear turquoise clothes, and he thinks the Queen Mum, George H. W. Bush and Kris Kristofferson are or were infact a lizards, thus proving you only need to be right in a third of the time to start a cult

You don't need to start a cult. You need to start your own country:

http://www.citizensrequired.com

Roz.

Reminds of the religion survey in England a few years back.

More people believed in Darth Vader than Jesus (or something equally shocking)

Parnell, that was f*cking funny.

Are you an American?

@roz

now that is cool

@MTV
Actually it wasn't Darth... it was Jedi..

And enough people chose Jedi on the census form as a religion, that it was added to the officially recognized religions.

Heres the story from the BBC

I think you need to host a "Root 69 Party" to get everyone's attention.

Party members would gather in Bournemouth Pavilion and "Root for Root"