Peculiar customs and culture in Germany

I don't think anyones knows what it is...

I accidentally head-butted some old lady about a month ago at the bus stop. I was waiting for the bus and just reading something in a shop window...I took about a half a step to turn around for the bus and struck what I thought was a pole or something. Nope. Just some stupid lady who was walking about 5mm away from me. I hit her so hard I thought I was gonna have a black eye. When I finally came-to and realized what had happened, she was off flailing her arms around and giving me death looks...so as I appologize she starts yelling and walked away. The part that gets me (aside from the pain...OW!) is that she had the whole damn sidewalk but decided that it was better to walk basically on top of me instead of somewhere else. Stupid people...

Well afterall you did headbutt her!?

This might have been mentioned already...
But what's with those people that always frantically shove their way off the Ubahn etc, push through the crowd, cutting off anyone young or old in their way to get to the escalator first... and then calmly stand on the right hand side and ride it to the top like they have not a care in the world.

Yeah, I've noticed on the tube that Germans like to stand up once the doors have closed, walk over to the door, and stare vacuously into the black window until they arrive at their next stop. Pulling at the doors to open immediately upon arrival...

*Sigh* Alway in a rush i suppose...

I find our hosts collectively fairly high-strung and neurotic. The "waiting for the stop one stop before" sydrome is a good example. As is the rush to get on a train (fear of being left behind?).

Also, for such a beautiful and relaxed City, there's a lot of honking and road rage. Put these people in Johannesburg, London or Tel Aviv for a week. They'll realise that Munich is the place to chill.

Before anyone has a go, I LOVE it here. I like Fritz on the whole, and I've even got a Fritzette girlfriend (but she's a more relaxed Frankfurter).

Weird German running habbits:
- run on the right side of the way only
- yell at runners coming towards them on their side
"rechts halten, links überholen!"
Next thing they'll be putting up traffic lights in the parks for runners as well or give you a fine for not going on the right side.

I am told (by the English girlfriend of a German) that it is not unusal for German men to sit down on the toilet when taking a piss! Apparantly it is to guarantee a ´good aim´.
Conversely, it is apparantly not unheard of for Germans of both sexes to stand up when taking a dump!! I have not actually had verification of this and it could well be just be a malicious rumour developed from the sit down pissing thing. Can anyone confirm?

I don´t think anyone has mentioned this either. What about the waiting for the green-man at pedestrian crossings when there is clearly no car in sight! Whenever I trust my own instincts and cross when there is a red-man I am looked at like I´m from another planet! Having read a few of the Polizei related posts here I am starting to get worried I might get arrested for this one day...

Also, has anyone noticed that in German houses, doors are always closed! I was in a friends house the other day and his brother went into a room, closed the door and then 30 seconds later came out again, closing the door naturally! Wtf!

Aaah, feels so much better to get all that off my chest...

As for the German toilet habits, my own experience (I'm German) has been that German women often want men to sit down, because they don't like the toilets to get wet/dirty. However, most men steadfastly refuse to do so. Concerning the other alleged habit, that's totally new to me. Sounds more like a middle eastern thing, since they don't have toilet bowls there, just holes in the ground.

That's like the lady that sat right on top of me in the bus when ALL the other seats in the bus were empty. I looked at her (and she at me), turned around to signify that I'd seen all the empty seats, then looked back at her. I think she got the message. However, maybe not because she stayed put.


I sometimes want to throw eggs from my balcony at the cars that just hold down their horns. My boyfriend said it might not be smart, because it'd probably scare the shit out of them. Maybe waterballoons? Any suggestions? These people need to learn their lessons

I'd definately agree with you! I lived in Frankfurt for 6 years and now Münich. Frankfurt cannot hold a candle to Munich! I mean, come on, "Frankfurter Applewein" instead of Augustiener?!? Absurd!

Also, since moving here, I've re-discovered skiing and like a junkie, I'm hooked!

That will be the Ami's

putting coins in your wallet

shopkeepers giving me my change putting the coins in the little saucer on the counter, not in my held-up hand

25-year olds calling each other mr schmitt and ms mayr

extremely low stress-tolerance levels / low "katastrophe" threshold (i.e. the most minute little glitch / deviation from plan / inconvenience is a "katastrophe")

I used to hang out at a German mate's of mine in Frankfurt. He INSISTED that I only piss in one toilet sitting, another I could use standing (he had two toilets in his flat). He told me that, as a boy, his mother insisted that he do so (imagine your mother waving her finger at you).

This I understood, but:

*) He's been on his own for years now - "Put me by the window Norman, so I can keep an eye on you!" I suppose once schooled by his mom, you never go back?
*) He had no girlfriend at the time.
*) He had a maid. Good aim, bad aim, it was going to be cleaned up by the maid!
*) I would be slaughtered by my mates from home if I ever suggested such protocol.

I laughed, and then took a piss in the toilet standing not remembering if it was the correct one or not, nor noting my aim!

I noticed this yesterday in Karlsplatz- if the escalator is broken, and people try to get onto it, then notice that it's broken, they leave the escalator and go to the steps.

This is the most ridiculous thing ever.. just go up the escalator steps!

I refuse to go up Escalator stairs! They are alot steeper than the regular stairs, so its just not the germans that do that. I actually look at the people going up the escalator when it doesn't work, and think 'looser!'

I am glad to see this thread has gone on since I started it--though I am disappointed that some nice person with German contacts hasn't written in regarding the keys in every door. Maybe it has historical roots like passing port to the--which--the left?

I should explain incidentally I am one of those people who really prefer living here to where I come from in the States. I will probably never move back. Still...

Knocking on the table... someone mention this. I have seen two kinds of "knocks."
1) When coming to a group of friends seated at a table, the table knock occirs. Also sometimes when leaving.

2) Knocking on the table instead of clapping. This is a student thing. When you attend a lecture at the LMU at the end you never hear applause, just Knockity-clunkity-knock. By the way, those are good lectures there and open to the public, some in English.

Corn on pizza and calling it American Style. I have never seen this in the States but maybe I led an insulated existance?

Shaking hands as greeting: I see this a bit less than when I first came here 10 years ago, but it is fun to watch. Five people greet each other in a cafe (not at a table or you'd get the "knock" thing) and each shakes the hand of the four others. Takes a while. I quite like it, less stand-offish than the American keep-your-distance-but-make-a-lot-of-noise custom. It is amazing how much emotion can be put into a handshake here. And really cute when little kids formally greet you on entering a home, with a handshake, as the parents watch approvingly. But why--where does this come from?

Milk-- I live near farms and the milk is superb. The cows are fussier than you'd think and have to have fresh hay twice a day, plus various supplements. Should it sour it doesn't go bad (like pasturized milk), you just make ricotta cheese.

The knock does have some sort of significance, but I forget what.. maybe because everyone's hands are full with straight edges and different colored markers for underlining and highlighting important notes

Strangely colored textured wallpaper! Gross!!

Also- having to abide by Apothekers' limited hours for products normally available at every grocery store in the States. (ie cough meds, aspririn, etc) The funny thing is, that you can order this stuff over the internet too- so its not like you are getting advice or something. Plus you pretty much have to take what they give you and the prices are higher. I think I'm smart enough to shop for this stuff on my own! Or maybe not, which leads me to another strange thing here:

Super-Layman names for doctors: Augenarzt, Hautarzt, and my fav orite "Frauenarzt" where instead of getting a Pap smear I just request that they "check my privates"?? As far as Augenarzt- there is a big difference between an Optometrist & an Opthamologist-

I have serious issues with walking up stationary escalators, there is something about them, maybe the line thingees that the steps are made from, but I start kinda tripping out which always ends in me losing balance and tripping...it's very weird.
So I guess I'm kinda the same, if they aren't working, I'd prefer to turn around and take the steps, less likely for me to lose teeth this way.

I happen to love the fact that the men sit down to take a piss, i used to call my brother driplets at home cos he would drip everywhere in my freshly washed bathroom, so my bathroom is always spotless now in Munich. Same with the ironing thing, I iron everything that we use even my bathroom rugs. My friends call me obsessive but I am very houseproud, so I dont care. Everyone takes the piss out of me because of my tendencies but I cant help it, my whole family is that way, hell you could have a meal of my floors (not that we would want to) but we all have our quirky ways i guess...

A lot of times, if you are doing (or about to do) something illegal, someone will honk at you. It's actually helpful sometimes because it can prevent you from doing something dangerous or getting a ticket. For example, if you have your left blinker on at a street where no left turn is allowed. Or if the street you're about to go down is one-way.

People do park in the oddest places on my block (due to some baustelle). you would never see someone perpendicular to traffic, blocking the sidewalk and half the road just to run a quick errand in the US.

I don't like walking up stationary escalators either. The steps are quite tall (hard to take 2 at a time) and I can go much faster up the normal staircase.

I think that this is an untruth that if men sit piss that all is clean. Check under the toilet seat and you will notice a golden scum on the underside from ladie´s tinkling. It is gold colored.
take a look. blame us us anyways,
take care.
space
I think that this is an untruth that if men sit piss that all is clean. Check under the toilet seat and you will notice a golden scum on the underside from ladie´s tinkling. It is gold colored.
take a look. blame us us anyways,
take care.
space

kathleen...i agree with the shaking hands thingy...weird...it also is a really good way to spread germs...lurvely!!someone told me that sometimes they kiss too...eugh!

Germans KISS too? Damn, that settles it. Got to get out of this crazy place.

Woman... woe-man... whoooa-man.
She was a thief, you got to believe, she stole my heart and my cat.
Judy, Betty, Josie and those hot Pussycats...
they made me horny, on Saturday morning...
girls of cartoo-ins will leave me in ruins...
I want to to be Betty's Barney.
Jane... get me off this crazy thing...
called love.

p.s. i know you just meant the kiss on the cheek greeting... but it sounded funny to me

I don't know if I am on the same U-Bahn as everybody else, but I have the impression that getting on or off everyone switches to a shuffle instead of striding purposefully to those precious empty seats or jumping off to rush to the escalator in order to stand in everyone else's way. Especially in getting off most Germans tend to move in slow-motion, and I find myself willing them to MOVE so as I can rush off to the stairs.
A propos peculiar habits: One thing I did notice on our vacation in Cancun - most Germans are more polite than Americans when dealing with waiters, shopkeepers or bartenders. The times I heard "Two dackeries (daiquiries) an' a Jim Beam" without the slightest please, thank you or sir/ma'm are legion, and the condescencion in their voices made me cringe. The few Germans there never forgot their manners.

Just to make you drool, this is the Carribean at the resort

I have the opposite feeling ie. I feel the Germans always the rush for the seats as if its some sort of precious commodity. I just let them take it...there are more important things in life than being able to sit...

As for asking for anything, I'm quite surprised (pleasantly) to hear that Germans are more polite than Ami's having had to teach the last girlfriend to say "bitte"! She must have been the exception that proves the rule...???

Just thought of something - Do you guys ever notice that lots of people pick their noses at red lights here or while sitting in traffic? I catch someone everyday!

And when you give them that "what the f*ck are you doing?" evil stare, they look at you, sometimes while still digging for gold, and just stare back like you're the weirdo!?

A couple more things came to me the other day.. the fuzzy microphone.. what the hell is that? In interviews sometimes they bring down this enormous fluffy microphone that looks like a fraggle and stick it in the interviewee's face.

Also, Germans will never take you to your doorstep if they're giving you a ride home. No matter how nice they are, they just drop you off where it's convenient for them, like a U-Bahn or tram stop, so they don't have to go off their normal route.

I was walking throught the town one afternoon when I met my buddy's girlfriend walking the other way. She told me that she had just been dropped off by a colleague at the end of the street, she still had several blocks to go...

I wouldn't have though much about it but she had recently had a knee operation and was on crutches!

It's a windbreaker and standard for any high-quality recording if it's windy or if wind is expected. The old foam covering doesn't do nearly as good a job; the fuzzy type will keep out all but the strongest of wind noise as well as "pops" from the speaker's "B"s and "P"s. There's nothing German or strange about it, save for the idea of using hot pink rather than a more neutral colour.

voff.

Well, regardless I think it's weird and it makes me sneezy just looking at it. I'd probably break out in hives if someone ever stuck it in my face. Good thing I'm not famous

Think of the germs its holding in then?!

Lately all of my colleagues have been trying to hitch a ride with me, and it's not like we aren't centrally located. Gets really annoying. I can understand not going out of your way! (Of course not if the person was on crutches...)

Well, I'm not talking about free-loading, just a once-in-a-while-could-you-please-bring-me-home scenario.

I have another one,

ever notice if you are in an elevator, and when then a German will just basically run out of the thing right after the door opens? I mean they literally walk out sideways befor ethe door has completly opens.
and yes, I do take a shower every day!

And then say Wiedersehen! When am I going to see you again? They also say that a lot at the Wartezimmer when they finally get called in by the Doktor.

Yeah - that's right.

I can't believe every time I talk to a German in person or on the phone, you end up saying goodbye like 5 times!

Wiedersehen, tschuess, ciao, bis spaeter, mach's gut, etc, etc -

I never understood that. If you just say goodbye and walk away, it just doesn't feel right. Pretty funny..

definitly driving on the right!!

You do know this is isn't just in Germany don't you?

Here is something if you havent noticed alread you must look for it!
I call germany the Lipsmelling nation.
Have you ever noticed when they give you the JAJA answer they wrinkle their forehead and pull their lip up to their noses as if they are checking how badly it smells?
really, what is with that?

Oh another one came to my mind!

Why is antifreeze sooo expensive??? I mean in general in Europe? for that price you get 2 gallons in Canada!

i am not sure if anyone already mentioned this, i have not read all ten pages of posts, but...
as i was just picking up my trusty mop and bucket to go wash the apartment building staircase,i thought, what the hell?? why do the tenants have to do this?? i dread the day when i get the "treppe" sign hung on my door. when it's my turn. it's so irritating for some reason, it's not like we pay peanuts for the housing here. i have a friend in berlin and she lives in an far less attractive apartment building in east berlin, and there they have a service that washes their common area stairs every few weeks...
(i guess this doesn't fall under the funny theme about germany, but i think we have veered off that a while back)

Umbrella etiquette is non existant! I hate when you try to pass someone on the street, both with umbrellas, and I am used to tipping mine, away from the other person, so you can both pass, but often here, I get a wet drippy umbrella in the face, or they try to take my umbrella out!

Would you prefer to pay for a hausmeister to do it slowly and expensively?

People on the ground floor are exempt from fees related to cleaning of stairs. They also can't be made to clean the stairs in a building where the tenants all share that chore. Outright refusal to pitch in may cause some trouble with the neighbours but reasoning with them that someone in the EG can't be expected to clean stairs but accepting doing it anyway on a more infrequent basis may smooth those ruffled feathers.

woof.

Did you also know that all residents living higher than the ground floor in apartment buildings in Regensburg apparently have a clause in their contract saying they are required to put up those living in the ground floor should the river flood and subsequently flood the ground floor apartments?

Very interesting

Actually the people living on our EG do have to take part in the stair cleaning. I actually live higher up...but as I was saying, my friend in Berlin never has to pay for the sevice. I mean I am not sure if that is already included in her rental agreement or not...but she also pays something like 300 euros for a 2br..but that's a whole different topic. I also never had to clean the stairs in US too...kind of annoyed, that's all.
P.S. i hope we don't have the same rules about flooding, what with all the rain

Interesting. I've lived in apartment buildings in Munich, Regensburg and Bayreuth. Never was there any need to sweep the stairs, because there were always janitors that did it. I thought this was standard practice, but apparently not so. On Toytown, you learn something new everyday...

This is the worst. I hate rain in general (unless I'm cozy in bed), and umbrella wars on the streets make it that much worse..

How about women with white pantyhose on and their dark leg hair creeping out of it?

Going to the Gyn. doc and getting no cover-up at all during the exam-makes me think again about going-especially in the winter!