Peculiar customs and culture in Germany

what about the 'clapping when plane lands' thing..that bugs me...flew with a German mate to London on Friday and she did it!!! grr!

Did you bitch-slap her upside the head?

See these things will continue to annoy unless you take action.

no, I just gave her a dramatic theatrical glare...AND she didn't clap on the way back though...luckily for her as I was 'window-licking' with the worst hangover ever...if I'd been wakened by her clapping I'd've smacked the beeatch up for sure.

Did she applaud you for getting to Stuttgart airport on time? If not why not. Let's have some consistency here

OMG!!!
I ended up being 3 freaking hours early for the flight!!! imagine!!! I've never been so early for a flight!!!
then the flight was delayed by an hour anyway cuz of storms!
gah!
she'd nagged me to set off at 1pm!
mind you the traffic 'STAU' radio announcements always talked about traffic jams behind me so it wasn't too bad an idea after all I guess.
and it did mean we could hit the bar at the airport while we waited!
heehee.

Anyways, glad you were able to cure her of the clap.

Clapping in cinemas or aeroplanes, rapping knuckles on desks at the end of meetings is awful and should be punnishable by the removal of the offending hands.

Although it does fit in with the German mentality of 'Well we've been doing it this way for 500 years so why change now', which is sometimes a very good thing but not in this instance.

I have tried telling some of the people at work that it looks ridiculous and have even had a few people notice that I actually wince when they do it.

Hasn't had any effect yet so next time I have a meeting I will be bringing in my rusty hacksaw just in case.

@ butterbean - crutches are a fantastic idea - at least I would have weapons with which to bash the crap out of the next person who presents me with underwear to iron ... or anyone else who pisses me off for that matter. I imagine they are very good for tripping people over on escalators too ... and I am sure I will always get a seat on the U-Bahn if I look injured. Fuck ... that is a brilliant idea I am going out to get a pair ...

Remind me to buy you a beer the next time I see you

Besides all the points that already have been mentioned...I noticed that after I moved back from the states that it is really gross that here after people cleaned their nose they dont through away the tissue...NO they keep it in their pocket or in their sleeve..! uhh..!!!

Quite right, keep your germs to yourself.

Well if I had a Euro for every person that bowled Tom over this week rushing into the train to get a seat...

People are very serious about their train seats. They don't seem to fool around. Every man for himself. Luckily Tom just crutches right on ahead and doesn't let it phase him. Several people have walked into his bad leg though. Amazing the amount of people that do not respect personal space

I think the concept of personal space is completely lost on the Germans. Sometimes, I feel the need to ask the person behind me in line to take his croutch out of my ass. I mean, he could at least buy me dinner first, right?

Really? When I was on crutches, people couldn't jump out of their seats fast enough.

@nixe- Hmmm, well it looks like I just might know where to lift a pair. You might have to iron my underwear to get them though...


I still think that’s better than witnessing (constantly) the blatant nose pick/dig around a bit while riding the escalators and then immediate placement of the same, now booger soiled, hand on the escalator rail…

ok after reading through this list and seeing many things that are very very very true and some other things that some people are just being stupid about (driving on the right side a problem, i love it however i have failed to see an actual reason for the damb toilets. while i myself hate the damb things myself and a german friend of my'n actually got into a conversation about it one night! What was the real reason for the german shelf bog. now being in bavaria we should reallise its all due to pig . cause the damb things roll around in the mud and genrally eat crap, they have a tendency to get worms. hence if you eat pig all the time you also will have a tendency to get worms. so it is nice to have a toilet where you have no trouble checking your stool to make sure everything is in order. yes odd i know, but ah well.

the thing that gets me is cranberry juice. now the german word for cranberry is moosbeere or preiselbeere. now there is one russian firm that i have found that seems to have managed to crack into germany with moosbeeresaft (cranberry juice) loaded with sugar and no cranberry. Most bavarians have never even heard of moosbeere and the idea of making juice out of preiselbeere seems horrible to them. now i saw that lipton or nestea are making this ice tea cranberry. I thought in vain hope that maybe they call cranberry juice by a different name and it would of course be on the bottle in the ingrediants list and i could finally find a good source of cranberry juice. on the bottle on the 100 percent everything that ever touched the juice (down to the percentage sometimes) stood cranberrysaft! a german word made out of an english word when there is already a german word! bringing my fav thing about germany clearly to my eyes usless percision.

Saving water.

I like this thread. Whenever I complain about those lethal toilets Germans don't know what I mean. They just don't see a difference. Worst of all the hospitals here have them too - first they give you stuff to make you go, and then ...

Well, thats not very effective with me... I just keep flushing until all the evidence is gone... and some of you ask "why don't you use the brush?" and I say "because the idea of a s**t covered brush sitting in the corner of my bathroom grosses me out".

About 8 years ago, Adelholzener water came out with a Cranberry Flavoured Bubbly water... I found at the time the wierdest thing, as Cranberry juice was impossible to find at that time here. Only was around for about 6 months, then was gone- bummer!

Yeah, you have to be Canadian to be able to say homo milk with a straight face.

Actually a Preiselbeere isn't exactly a cranberry either, it's just the closest relative that they have in Germany.

A cranberry is a cranberry in English and German.

Yeah they did the same for me...with the odd exception. But maybe it is a male/female thing? Dunno. Just people have really been rushing in ahead of Tom...I am really conscious of it.

One other thing on the personal space issue are the tiny cramped elevators they have here. I cannot believe how small they are. I normally don't get too claustrophobic but here I just find myself jamming myself into the tiniest little corner and wishing the ride would end (as they are also extremely slow).

Yes...I know...take the stairs

My "funny" top four:

0. Shelf Toilet
I'm sure this has been discussed--appropriately...ad nauseum.

1. Dodge the draft
Germans seem so sensitive to any little drafts of air. "Es zieht, es zieht!" It's 35 degrees outside! So what if es zieht?!?! My therory is that this is some sort of left-over plague-angst.

2. Stomach.de
Everything effects their poor stomachs! (or is 'magen' the gut?) Life must be so hard! Admittedly not a fair complaint, coming from an American. I believe we could probably digest plutonium, given the crap we're raised on, so I can't be so sympathetic.

3. Cross-lingual puns
It took a long time for me to be able to comfortably say: "Ich muss mich duschen" and "Gute fahrt!"

Wikipedia is your friend:
http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilette#Typen
(in German)
"was die Vorteile bietet, dass das Gesäß des Benutzers nicht mit Wasser bespritzt wird"

re: Shelf toilet:

Nothing says "party" like:

...die Möglichkeit besteht, die Ausscheidungen in Augenschein zu nehmen

This might better fall under a thread titled: "weird Un-scientific Rational in Germany" (as I suppose the whole "draft" thing does- thinking it will cause you to get sick )

This came from my mother in law while we were at Ikea last year: It was sometime around June and warm weather, the air inside Ikea seemed a bit dry to her, and she made a comment about it. (in German) I didnt understand what she said, so my husband proceeds to tell me with a completely straight face that "the air inside is dry because of all of the textiles inside Ikea".

WTF??? That's got to be the nuttiest logic I've ever heard (umm, Ikea has air conditioning)- so later on at home I asked him why we should vent the bathroom, as the towels should de-humidify the air, right? Dont people here learn to question these types of silly logic? Germans can really be dumb sheep sometimes...

Oh I remember another thing that strikes me as weird- having to pay a monthly fee (which we dont) if you own a tv, in anticipation that you will watch any of the crappy public programs (which we dont) it supposedly pays for. Now the BBC I would pay for- thank GOD for Sky!

I find it funny, that all these older women, carry gold or silve purses, those butt ugly things. Then the gold shoes too!

I don't understand the way they make their beds. Why do they need 2 duvets and fold them up so the undersheet is showing. Why not make the bed look inviting with a big fluffy duvet and nice rectangular pillows. I have had to ship in all my bedding via various guests!

You leave Bubblegum alone!

Don't know if this has been posted yet, what's up with the pillows?

Is there any point in having a pillow that offers no support whatsoever?

That's to make sure their bed head shows in the mornng when the head off to work without having showered, or certainly not having washed (brushed) their hair...

agree on the TV thing. Also, the cable thing. The cable in my apartment was connected for the last tenants. Kabel Deutschland kept trying to make appointments with me to turn it off because I hadn't paid for it. Leaving little cards like "we'll be here at 2 pm on Friday" or 11 am on Tuesday. Like I'm going to take off work so you can come into my home and cut off my free cable??? shaaa!

I see alot of older patients coming in, and the have these ugly gold bags, with gold rope as straps, and then those shoes! Those gold shoes with a bow and open toe without a pedicure! My mom is old, but at least she wears Birkenstocks!

never met Bubblegum so I cannot comment on her!

Yeah, what up with the square pillows? You just lose head room. At least you can get rectangular pillows at Ikea. Guess the Scandihoovians have some sense.

I must admit, I'm a convert to his/hers duvets. Eliminates the whole "she stole all the covers" problem, although I never thought I'd think this way.

For the best laugh, however, think about the bedwear styles here in ol' Deutschland. So many badly drawn faux-chinese characters and other tacky, tacky designs! It's all so swinging-czechoslovakian-brother-esque...

The whole "I need to be the first one in the tram" thing.

"I'll block your ass from getting out and most certainly not help grannies or moms with strollers in- I'm getting a seat god dammit"

Hate the square pillows! And don't understand the two duvets per bed, but I'm a cuddler so I want to be under the same cover!

One thing that hasn't been mentioned is that most German men (and a lot of the women) don't have butts! Now, granted, I am a bit of an "ass woman" if there is such a thing. But I have noticed that most Germans have flat asses, no curve to them at all. What's up with that?!?!? But maybe that's why they are always playing grab-ass (as someone mentioned earlier in the thread). They are simply trying to find the ass which has slowly eroded off over the years.

Haha and I think the Laura Ashley (New) England style is disgusting...

Hmm I have not noticed this but offer a possible theory:
It's from all the cycling they do...

Just a thought.

BTW I like the use of 'erosion' in this scenario

Most of the bedware you see in the shops here in munich is horrible. Don't know who likes that kind of style, but I would get nightmares sleeping in this stuff.

Simply ridiculous. Where do you shop? Walmart? Woolworth?
Go to Betten Rid.

What really annoys me is going to concerts where many Germans are wearing earplugs. What is that all about ?? Not very rock 'n' roll. Even at the recent U2 gig some of the folk standing at the very back of the stadium were wearing them. Maybe they think they're being safe and health conscious but not conscious enough to stop them smoking their beloved fags. Still, at least when they die of lung cancer their ears will be in tip top condition !!

Why does it annoy you? It's not like you can smell them or they look disgusting (or are they usually covered in earwax?).

It takes years for smokes to kill you; one concert can permanently damage your hearing. I suffer from tinnitis and have two "holes" in my hearing, along with constant squeals at three different pitches. That despite having worn earplugs at all times in concerts and other louod areas except when I was working on the mixing board running the sound, since even the flat-cut professional earplugs aren't truly flat and the distorted hearing would lead to a bad mix (as well as an inability to catch feedback before most people could hear it).

woof.

It's not very rock 'n' roll when you have to wear a hearing aid when you're 35 -40 years old either, oder!?

I'm right with BadDoggie on this one. Anyone who is into live music, either as a player or spectator, would be crazy not to wear some kind of hearing protection whenever possible. Technology has improved considerably and nowadays you can find filters which reduce overall volume instead of just blocking those nasty high frequency sound waves which leave you with that crappy bass sound that construction worker ones do. Granted if you really have to listen to intricate details it's going to be tough, but they are good enough for you to enjoy any loud live music event without your ears ringing for three days afterwards.

Alpine MusicSafe

Why not reduce the volume at the concert If it would be crazy not to wear any protection? It would be cheaper for everybody.
Probably a too logical solution to be accepted.

@Falco B.
I know that I'm in the minority when it comes to this stuff and was the object of some macho ridicule from my peers when I wore them as a youth (my hearing was damaged by an ear infection when I was 12-13 and I've been very sensitive about this kind of stuff since).

Apparently the only way to "feel" the music is to have your ears blasted out on a regular basis; which would be the explanation as to why concerts are generally-speaking so loud.

Because the bands want it loud. Loud, to them, is "rock & roll". These days they (the bandmembers) have more protection due to the IFB (earphone monitors) but want to hear the noise, so it's actually more dangerous for the audience. Many areas have noise-limiting and safety laws specifying a threshold volume (usually between 98 and 103dB), but if they don't specify "C-weighting", the sound man is usually forced by the tour manager to go with "A-weighting" which is noticably louder for the same decibel value.

woof.

People complain all the time at bars how loud the bands are.. "can you tell them to turn it Doowwwnn (whine whine)?" It's a live band, man..

I know what you are talking about...

Good earplugs-shop:
http://www.sonicshop.de

Yeah but earplugs are sooo uncool