Bad poetry corner

Haiku cuckoo
Have you had coco
Hittin your head
Now have some cucu...

I can't continue!

Little boy blue
He needed the money

Henriette and her friends

Good Morning Sir, how are you?
My name is Henriette,
And these are my friends,
Ilse, Heidi and Babette.

It’s a hot day, don’t you think?
And the flies, always so annoying.
Oh, would you mind letting me drink
from your bottle, before you get going?

Ilse, think it will rain, do tell?
Oh, she’s taking a nap before lunch.
Heidi, Babette, asleep as well?
Yes, we are an active bunch.

Our daily routine since we’re kids:
Always get up before the sun.
A guy comes by to squeeze our tits.
Then we laze around, get a tan.

Have some raw salad ‘round noon,
then a little more of it for dinner.
We tend to get fatty way too soon,
I myself, I’d rather get thinner.

Like the necklace below my face?
Yeah, the one with the big bell.
I know, it’s too loud, a disgrace,
for my ears, it’s really like hell.

Sir, you are moving on already?
Ok then, have a pleasant hike.
See you around, walk steady,
drink our milk one day, if you like…

Now when he was a young man, he never thought he'd see
People stand in line to see the boy king.

How'd you get so funky?
Did you do the monkey?
Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia...

Now if I'd known they'd line up just to see him
I'd have taken all my money and bought me a museum.

Buried with a donkey.
He's my favorite honky
Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia...

Dancing by the Nile!
The ladies love his style!
Walkin' for a mile.
He ate a crocodile.
He gave his life for tourism.

a small crappy piece...

Tim and Duckling

Long ago there was a butterfly called Tim,
In the sunlight he's tasting the season’s pleaures.
Sipping honey of the bees,
Or playing around the trees in blossom.
Life is as fine as those breezy summer’s days,
Time slips without any sound, nothing bad but too calm!

Why not find some fun somewhere somehow?
An idea came to him when a duckling was hurrying by.
Hey there, why are you staggering like an aged guy?
Why are you as plumpy as a butcher's cow?
Only a glance the duckling threw at the handsome butterfly,
saying, let's wait and see the next days' sky.

Day in day out soon came the days with golden leaves,
Dimmed are the hues of Tim's dresses.
Like most of elder folks,
Tim would take a walk before the sun says bye.
One day he saw a swan across the sky,
Sliding so gracefully down to where Tim's passing by.

Recognizing it's duckling Tim became red suddenly,
Lost are the teasing words beyond the years.
The duckling smiled at him and asked softly,
How are you doing for these days?
So, just as a little reminder for someone somewhere,
Never laugh at anyone who seeks something beautiful and fair.

No copyright infringement here...

Explique sil vous plait
I ask myself the question
But the answers
Never come my way
Loss
An emotion I know well
But none such as this
Where every waking moment
Feels like a living hell
As living, feeling beings
We are wrapped, entrapped and interwoven
With each other
Tied by invisible umbilical cords
Like a baby to its Mother
Often by our own mistakes
The cord will break
But we always grow another
The way of life so they say
Cordless, thats how I feel
In Gods great plan
The bond between Her and I
Should have remained unbroken
But somehow, someway, somewhere
It all went wrong
So I gulp
A fish drunk on air
Writhing, wriggling, slipping over rocks
But going nowhere
Like that fish I stare
Waiting for life giving water to come
As the lifeblood itself
Flows out of me

Looking into the mirror,
Trying to review my error,
Dear granny Katrina,
But I just wanna take a shower.

Ouf of the windows are the green green grass,
Dreams of lilac are growing freely in the silence.
Sparrows are singing happy songs,
Even the earth worms can stretching in their little holes.

Dear granny Katrina,
why must I follow your order?
I know I'm just a traveler,
dwelling in this shelter.

But don't you know this,
even your parrot longs for the life's balance.

obviously, I'm not a promise keeper.

The Fool

Who'd think they'd have known what you do think what you do know?
Crushing intellect and experience shows
Vast capacity of your brain
Others are thick like coppice swains
You laugh at their world and smirk at their thoughts
Your precious knowledge set at nought
Lonely is your fate to be
With the light from your arse as company

Watching you again, spurting your stuff
your savvy and sapience calling their bluff
Blinded by the light from your arse
The others stood in awe trying to parse
The complexity of your latest revelation
Commanding the respect of an entire nation
Your monologues never to tire you out
Copious energy for yourself to tout

Oh shiny star,open your mind and see
In this big old cosmos we all but gnat's pee
No thoughts left to be called your own
As numerous times already was shown
Somewhere a child is born and will one day read
Of thoughts and wisdom on which it will feed
Nothing is sacred, nothing is new
Mayfly I am and so are you

By MajorBummer for the Crap Poet Society

A panda’s life

Somewhere, under the rainbow,
where peace and happiness grow,
lived Xiao Shi, a little panda bear.
Oh, what a time free of care:
Eating, sleeping, and no strife -
Xiao Shi liked her lazy life.

Then, her parents called one day,
and told her, in a very serious way:
“Young one, we want you to represent
our species in a foreign land.
Far away from Chinese shores,
we need some pandambassadors.�

They brought a cage, stuffed her in.
Hard work, she wasn’t all that thin…
Then around her darkness did descend,
no more she saw of her homeland.

Xiao Shi awoke in a foreign place,
saw many humans staring in her face.
Close by, asleep, a male panda hunk.
The place itself, it sure was a dump.

“Ta ma de� to herself she thought,
then quietly blushed, all distraught.
Panda girls, they mustn’t swear,
So how could she suddenly dare?

The hunk awoke, gave her a stare:
“They want us to breed, as if I care.
Why bother, it’s way too much stress,
I’d rather sleep, I sure must confess.�

Poor Xiao Shi, her days were no fun.
But such is life, nothing to be done.
She dreamed of rainbows in the sky,
and frequently asked herself “why?�

Then one night, at half past four,
masked faces appeared in the door.
“The Panda Liberation Front are we,
back to Szechuan we’ll now bring thee.�

The apathetic hunk politely declined,
too much effort, no thank you, too kind.
But on the plane, on her way back home,
another panda, on a stopover in Rome.
One look into his sparkling black eye,
yes, with him under the rainbow she’d lie.

See, this story has a happy-end.
Were you doubting this, my friend?
When you see a rainbow for a while,
think of Xiao Shi, and then smile.

More than I could ever dream
pure like morning sun's first beam
a sparkling star on the horizon
the prettiest sight I've laid my eyes on
in dreams I only saw such grace
her touch was gentle divine her embrace
as if an angel from above
had come to earth with heavenly love.

But like a snowflake on warm sand,
she melted away right out of my hand.

Leaf, Beggar etc.
(for your birthday...I'd forgot for a long time )

I pick up a leaf as time passes by,
Season's magic no one can tell why.
Thinking of you in the morning hours,
And saying a prayer that only one hears.

On the way to work I see a beggar,
Summer's grace never lights up his face.
Destiny's trick or the times' joker,
Alone he stands there with jingling coins.

Soon I know why you left that day,
Who would care about a beggar's tray?
So I lay the leaf between the pages of my diary.
Truely, it is just an ordinary day.

But boy, here you are some words,
Wish you happiness every sunset and sunrise.

A was said
B was said
A said: B
said B
remained silent

Then: A daring word, it stumbled, fell, lead to another.

Kafkaesque symbol
mellifluous follow
wicked masterpiece
almost torpid

I see my comment about being accused of writing a poem about another tter and being accused of being "an online stalker" by someone who knew damn well it was actually about someone I met outside of TT has been deleted. But then this is someone who accused me of being a drug addict, a violent criminal incident waiting to happen amongst other lies too numerous to mention.

sounds like someone is stalking you there Friday!

Roses are red
Violets are violet
I'll give you my number
Why don't you dial it?

No, I am sure this person is just "lovingly and theraputically explaining other people's self absorbed etc etc etc behaviour".

a mouse, a hand, a click
a key, a finger, a tap
a fast reply

The Dilemma

If they paid me for rhyming
I'd do it under timing!
I could say all I wanted
Without being hunted!

Rare species go extinct
At a very high high rate
So, if you think u're distinct,
Then go enhance your rare fate.

Talk or not, that's what I ask
But I end up talking.
Don't know is it hard to grasp
Why care about stalking???


(--- this is a dedication for you, Friday, don't you worry about anything... write!)

you are right Julia, rubbish is just something to throw away, not hold onto, and the same goes for the people that tell vile lies about you, and the people that believe them.

Actually. You seem to do a good enough job spreading "lies and rumours" about yourself. Most of the stuff you post involves "someone saying something about you to someone else".

Get these things out in the open, I have nothing to hide. If people think I am a drug addict or a violent thug, then fine say it in the open and let people out there judge as they will.

Yes Friday. We all think that. In fact, there is an optional forum section which only discusses you! Unbelievable, the things you have done... Ever watched A Beautiful Mind?

if only that were true

Friday. Paranoia is a dangerous condition

Ramblings of an imaginary dog

Hello? Listening, anyone?
Or reading, just to be precise.
All by myself, this is no fun.
Gather round and hear my cries!
“Who,� you ask, “why, what?�
I am a dog. Yes, I am indeed.
Not a real dog, no I’m not.
I’m imaginary, a special breed.

The guy who wrote these lines,
a novel about a dog he had read (*).
“Hey, let’s make up some rhymes,�
he thought, “a dog’s a nice pet.�
So he did, just like that, on a whim.
But don’t expect much, he’s kind of dim.

A mental image of me you want to see?
Curious to know name, sex, pedigree,
fur color and religious affiliation?
Well, better use your own imagination.
Didn’t ask to be a dog, so I don’t care.
Got imposed on me, it wasn’t fair!

Don’t you think this is quite pathetic?
Why can’t I be someone more dramatic,
more inspiring, uplifting, exciting?
“Naked teenage sex bomb fighting
the evil sister of Kim Jong-Il.�
Or: “Amazing superhero - what a thrill -
attacked by a gigantic radioactive ant.�
Oh well, let’s end this pointless rant.

Sorry, my fault, I’m digressing.
On to matters much more pressing.
My brief life, it will be over soon,
black nothingness, my fate is doom:
In an instant, when this poem ends,
it’s bye-bye time for me, my friends.

I guess this way, convenient it is:
I’m housebroken, don’t shit or piss,
no need for food, not even batteries,
when master’s tired, he gets peace.
I’ll never maim the neighbor’s cat,
won’t fall sick, don’t need the vet.

But for me, this is a fate quite sad -
to be imaginary is a bit like being dead:
Never can I do what dogs do normally.
Like, you know, pee against a tree,
bark, bark some more, wag my tail,
chase the man who brings the mail,
fetch a stick, bring it back faster,
with faithful eyes adore my master.

So what am I? Just a concept, an idea.
And what’s the point? It’s not quite clear.
If these lines skilfully exposed my soul,
showed humans how it is to play my role,
maybe then, real-life dogs would benefit.
But from this poem? Nah, not one bit.

I wonder, for imaginary dogs like me,
is there a heaven, God I will see?
Or I’ll just disappear, no traces remain?
Do I roam this world, in eternal pain,
a canine ghost, in shadows deep,
to haunt you humans, in your sleep?
In your dreams, will I appear,
to chase you, fill your hearts with fear?
I’ll madly bark, sadistically bite,
you’ll cry out from pain and fright.

Oooops, sorry, please don’t get mad,
didn’t mean to scare you so bad!
I’m harmless, really, my friend,
I just don’t want this poem to end!
I’m so scared to reach the final line,
desperately hoping for one more rhyme.
One last bark, one last pat on the head,
now I’ll go, nearly gone, it’s so sad.
Please promise me you won’t forget
your poor little imaginary pet…

-------------------------------------------------------
(*) Sándor Márai, "Ein Hund mit Charakter"
(great author, though this particular novel was sort of mediocre)

You better read "A gyertyák csonkig égnek" by Sándor Márai. It's a three hours' read, not too long.

English title "The Candles Are Burnt Down"... or something similar... it must have been translated as he lived and created in Western Europe for a long time, at the beginning of last century... very good novel... interesting story.

Oh, that is not poetry, should have posted in the books section!

I love that movie... made me drop heavy tears. John Nash, the ghost... buuut, I don't think it is wise to quote that movie, however!

People like to put stamps on other people. I don't like that, find it unfair. Fullstop.

Some people take the general approach:
"anybody who doesn't like me, or has something with me, can queue up at my door and... kiss my a...!" !

(Uh, it wasn't me who typed it in here ----- it was my friend!)

Actually, the English title is "Embers", German title "Die Glut". Very good book, I agree.

The Grilling

These fellow guys, under window,
Make me feel as like a willow...
They come grillin here, every night
Till they have me outta tha sight,
Outta tha sight, outta tha mind!

Exam session, who cares? Yaman!!!
Let's smoke out that quiet woman.
If she doesn't wanna come out...
Her ID is still in cloud,
Cause she doesn't like the crowd!

Hahaha and hehehehe,
All we say, but, hold on... Bebe!
After five beers we'll be louder,
Shout ya out even from shower,
Keep it up till we have power!

I give up, and cook my dinner -
Looks like it won't make me thinner -
Sit down for meal, with my two peers
Shut the windows, don't need no cheers,
Finally, they finish beers!

Flowerpots, many, in kitchen...
I look angry,
Flatmate winks: "Ju, don't be chicken,
Do not hurry,
Have no fury..."

What an evening, TT fellows!
Wish I had a coupl a' melons...
To throw them, rotten, in their heads
Teach some grillin' to these lads!



(to be continued, if they come again tomorrow... this was the second evening when they set up the "grilling machine"... right under my window! what can I say... look at the positive side of it: I have begun to eat much more than before, which is actually - good! )

The Pope
Spoke...
And Islam is fed up
I truly hope
We will not turn ketchup
If for once they get up

My lovely lizard

My lovely lizard, speak to me again
your infinite wisdom guideth me
when particals around me jumped again
At night I escape inside my belly
While others are watching the telly
Lizard, my guide, my link to the sane
Come back and don't leave me here in pain

The warmth of your being
Keeps me alive, keeps me seeing
The hidden world around us all
Kept away by the invisible wall
Particals jumping, light is twisting
Which other see as error listing
Come back it's you I'm seeking

The Nintendo Wii is like, totally gay you guys

The wii is frankly really cack, its not the thing for me,
All that white stick waving business just looks so bloody gee,
It simply bloody silly, I just don't see the point
The only white stick that should be near games is a nice big hand rolled joint.
Jump around the room and shit, wave a bloody stick?
All that motion will just spin your head, and make you feel quite sick.
I've gamed for years, I know my shit, so just listen to me
Get yourself a decent toy, forget the fucking wii.

super awesome.

Jeden tag ein Döner
Macht das Leben schöner

Nehm lieber ein frischer Hammel,
sonst schmeckt es nur nach gammel

The PSP is such a crap it makes you wanna pee
so turn around dont look back and buy yourself a Wii.

Wii is pee.

Jedes Böhnchen
Macht ein Tönchen!

Beanz
Meanz
Fartz

(original: Heinz advert in the 70s)

Ode to Munich in Autumn

Now the leaf blowers are resting
And the little birds are nesting
Now the Germans have no mission
As the leaves got blown into submission
Darkness falls over this land
Light has left is not at hand
Never-ending precepitation
Causing me greatest frustration
Dogshit slippery on the pavement
Reminds me of my own enslavement
Living in this soggy hell
instead of Africa where all is well

My first poem of the year I am dedicating to my inner lizard who has left me it seems.
It is very dramatic of course and brings tears to my eyes as I am hitting away on these
keys for therapeutical reasons.

I lost my lizard on the lido

On a wet and damp day last year in December
The exact time I do not remember
I felt the loneliness creeping up on me
At the time I still thought it was naught but the glee
From the previous night's long celebrations
But lo it was not
In my throat formed a clot
You were gone from my nano cerebration

Lizard oh lizard, have I not been good to thee?
My loneliness, can't you see?
I crave for thee!
Lizard oh lizard, come back to me!

Now I'm back in Munich staring out of my window
While you are probably having fun with a minnow
Swimming in the canals of lido
And making the occasional dido
What will I do without you?
Grow gloomy and dark, left without any clues
Me and myself and my lost lizard blues.

Lizard oh lizard, have I not been good to thee?
My loneliness, can't you see?
I crave for thee!
Lizard oh lizard, come back to me!

This is a poem by e.e.cummings and I don't think it falls under "romantic" poetry. One of my favorites.

the boys i mean are not refined

the boys i mean are not refined
they go with girls who buck and bite
they do not give a fuck for luck
they hump them thirteen times a night

one hangs a hat upon her tit
one carves a cross on her behind
they do not give a shit for wit
the boys i mean are not refined

they come with girls who bite and buck
who cannot read and cannot write
who laugh like they would fall apart
and masturbate with dynamite

the boys i mean are not refined
they cannot chat of that and this
they do not give a fart for art
they kill like you would take a piss

they speak whatever's on their mind
they do whatever's in their pants
the boys i mean are not refined
they shake the mountains when they dance

Hi

Hi my name's Brad I'm 22.4 and have just moved here from Britain for work
Hi, my name is Roger and I am a New Orleanian
Hi, my name is Linda, and I'm a sinner
hi my name is sam, i draw pictures (4), from your titles
Hi! My name is Rosie. My real name is Ethyl. Some people call me Bud.
Hi, my name is Ahmed and I want to be a suicide bomber'
Hi, My Name Is Joe And Im An Addict
Hi, My Name is Gary. I Like to Ride Bikes.
Hi, My Name Is Bobby., 17 years old, Male
Hi, My Name Is Bobby., 17 years old, Male, and I always introduce myself twice
Hi my name is Roberta and i am having a problem i am having gastric bypass surgery for my health issues and it costs 58000 dollars and my insurane only ...

Whatever.

Ode to the Dolomites

Dolomites oh Dolomites
running around in funny tights
Frosty winds my nose did bite
Vast beauty which did touch my soul
My heart and warmth what you then stole
Majestic boulders in the sky
The sight enough to make you high
Snowy tips and shadowy valleys
Natures very own art gallery
Ploughing on all fours through snow
The way back we didn't know
The cold the darkness made us slow
It must have really been a show
Then light a yonder we did see
From snowy prison we were free
Asleep you went the sun was gone
The moon upon us is what shone
In darkness your beauty lay behind
To meet me again some other time

ode to a Pussy

Had I been so firm and strong
Would I have been more right than wrong
Could I have then let you free
But I cant, cos’ you have got that pussy

Its lips when they stare at me
What more is it than pure ecstasy
My fingers throb to touch it close
Its fragrance compares to the loveliest rose

Talking about the feel when I am inside
Its God’s dancing by my side
When I rub through, and through I go
I know I am approaching the heavens glow

And when I cum in your loveliest cunt
It’s when time stops and moments bent
I promise U, oh dearest of mine
I will be back soon another time.

The subliminal message on my upper, left thigh

The subliminal message on my upper, left thigh
hidden from the prying eye
Its truth protected, sealed away
In antagonising non-display
Sometimes mosquitoes sting in there
Of the message, hidden, unaware
And then they start and act all funny
And go to DM to spend their money
The slogan in their blood engrained
Unaware that they've been trained
Stealthy masters spread the word
On customers then start to work
And so the message has been spread
while my upper thigh remains unread

'From too much love of living,
From hope and fear set free,
We thank with brief thanksgiving
Whatever gods may be
That no life lives forever;
That dead men rise up never;
That even the weariest river
Winds somewhere safe to sea.

An Ode to Munich

Munich, Munich, I am deeply impressed
by climatic terror you seem to be blessed
Years of no summer never before did I know
Outdoor experiences tell tails of wet woe
And just when we think it cannot get any worse
Your floodgates they open and spit out their curse
Weeks and months of greyness and wet
on bestowing misery you really seem set
Mornings I don't want to open the shutters
Sogginess again all over the street sputters
Having to use electrical light
During the day is our ominous plight
So off for the weekend once more I most go
in search of the sun and not of some snow

An Ode To Freddie Mercury

Said I to Brian May one day
What happened to Freddie anyway?
He died, said he, looking glummer
Oh, said I, what a bummer

Thankyouverymuch

I hope you all caught my pun with the wet tails..

Ode to my nose

It's big and it's bold
and it sometimes gets cold
It's my very own filtering friend