Reverse culture shock

I am travelling home to the US for the second time in four years. The last time was a bit of a shock for me. Moving to Germany, I was expecting a change and so was quite prepared for it, but going home for a quick holiday surprised me.

First, I was overwhelmed with the customer service. It was too much. I have never had a problem in Germany, or did not really mind that no one offered to help me more than once in a store, as I was a bit afraid to say, "Ich schaue mich nur um". But when I went home to a store, I was greeted with a cacophony of, "How are you today?", "Can I help you?", "My the weather is wonderful today", "Have you seen our specials here?" And a litany of other questions. I was there to shop not have a discussion with the employees. I actually missed the quiet of the German stores.

Second, when I went out for dinner, it was the same experience. Every five minutes the waitress was there filling up my drink, asking if we wanted anything more, or the head waiter would come by and ask again if everything was acceptable. I wanted to eat and enjoy the company of the invited guests, not the company of the waiters/waitresses. Once again, I missed Germany.

Third, (This has nothing to do with American culture, as I hear the same type of conversations here in Munich with the English speaking crowds) I was surprised at how trivial the common conversation was. In Germany I have become quite effective with tuning out the "German" background conversations. If someone is speaking at a table next to mine, I do not pay any attention to what they are saying, unless I hear someone speaking English, which I can then hear across the room. However, in the US every table next to me seems to be screaming at one another, and the topics are the most trivial you can imagine. Usually when I am out with friends I speak German, and therefore each sentence is a labour unto itself, therefore the trivial sentences, "Wow, it is a hot day!" Don't make it into my conversation.

Fourth, The tax! I had no idea how much anything costs. I was surprised at how quickly I would forget that everything is 7% more than listed, and a restaurant you will pay at least 20-25% more than the bill with tip and tax. I went into a store after jogging and looked and saw that I had four quarters (all with strange backs-no more eagles), and thought, "Great, I have just enough for the bottle of that new Vanilla Coke (which was new a few years back, but tasted horrible)!" She then said, "That will be $1.07". I was thinking, but it said 0.99 cents??? Then...shit the tax..

So what were some of your reverse culture shocks??? Have you become a bit more German than you thought???

I was back in Ireland 2 weeks ago and drove out of a driveway onto the right hand side of the road before being reminded by my dad that we drive on the left.
Does that count?

I am British but travel to America on occasion and I have to say that the customer service culture in the US gets right on my tits. I wish they'd all just leave me the fuck alone frankly. It's all so insincere in the shops and downright irritating in restaurants and the presentation of the bill before I'm finished eating makes me feel like they want me out tout de suite. It's funny though, a colleague over there said how irritated they were when they came over here and couldn't get the bill immediately without having to ask! It's all what you're used to I reckon. What bugs me is how the US service culture has invaded the UK and no doubt will begin to creep into mainland Europe soon, though the French and the Germans will do their utmost to resist and good on 'em for doing so.

My sister told me once when she picked me up from the airport "you are starting to look German." When I had too much Helles my English becomes worse, my German better(!). I can't eat the bread we have at home anymore. The lack of interest in world politics at home shocks me everytime, makes me miss being in the company of the people I know from here.

Will never, ever wear socks with sandals though.

All of what you wrote is so true. What annoyed me the most when I went back to the states was definitely the waitresses INTERRUPTING my conversation with my friends to ask me,

"is everything was alriiiiiiiGGHT? "
actually, it was until you butted in, TYVM.

When I went back after a year, I went with a friend to a chinese restaurant and started speaking german to the waiter. I realized that I was always going to chinese restaurants with american friends, then would switch to german to talk to the waiter. it was goofy. He looked at me as if I were speakin' chinese (sorry, couldn't resist).

DRIVING
Doing the "cruise" driving style. Like that.

Paying before you pump gas - forgot ya had to do that (even though the pump said otherwise!) . Most annoying.

Hate the big SUV's, HUGE CARS. Can't see around the monsters in traffic.

Getting Carded.

Learning the new vocabulary. "THAT ROCKS." I seriously wasn't sure at first if it was something positive or negative. Thinking of our friend Charlie Brown, it wouldn't have been good. [What did you get for christmas, charlie brown? I got a rock.]

Anyway, there is definitely reverse culture shock. don't let anyone fool you. Don't bother telling your friends and family back home, they'll just think you're being a "euro-snob."

My uncle pretty much said that I sound American, but am really 80% German now.

KK

yes! i get overwhelmed by those damn non-stop drink refills. i even catch myself waiting for the little green man and have once or twice caught myself being mentally pissed off when others jay walk in front of the kinder.

also seem to notice noise and chaos - not that i mind them, mind you - just that i NOTICE it much more than before.

then again i went to the walmart at 10pm on a Sunday night just for the hell of it...

reminds me of a good sketch on 'The Sketch Show' (ITV, UK)

In small does I like the American service as it gives a bit of a lift. Could get tiring after a while though I guess. Is irritating to wait sometimes here so long for the bill though.

I had some major jet lag and figured, being in the burbs, everything would be pretty quiet to sleep through the afternoon. fogetaboutit.

seemed like all the neigbors had their gardeners with their loud ass gas driven leaf blowers right outside my window.

i am sure the EU has restrictions on noise polution for that stuff. don't really get that over here.

oh- and the waitress with the bill? you bet. she's kicking you out of her station.

"I'll just put this right here, don't worry about it." (you have juicy steak in mouth, can't tell her to bugger off)

"Has this been taken care of?" (was the manager here to comp it? gtfoh)

"Oh sorry, don't let me bother you."

"can I get you anything else?"

yeah, she's givin' you the boot. no question.

Customer service thing gets on my tits too.

Scared to go in a mobile shop in uk cos they just pounce on you! I went in to an O2 shop in nottingham a few months back. Lad saw me walkin towards the door and made a beeline for me. As soon as I stepped in he says
"Hi, welcome to O2, is there anything I can do for you at all, sir?"
Me: "You've been practicing that haven't you?"
"*slight chuckle* can I help you with anything?"
"No, I'm ok, I'm just looking"
"Ok, are you after anything in particular?"
"No, just looking"
"Are you already with O2 sir?
"Yes thanks"
"How about an upgrade?"
"I'm on pay and go, and just looking"
"We do upgrades for pay and go now as well sir, the amount by which you top up every month decides how much of an upgrade you are elegible for. Would you like me to check what upgrades you are eligible for sir?"
"No, I'm ok, like I said, I'm just looking"
"May I recommend..."
I walked out

But one thing that I did enjoy at the restaurants was the ability to order EXACTLY as I wanted it. I could ask for a large cheeseburger, with an extra slice of swiss chees, but no pickle, the meat should be cooked with it still be juicy, but cooked the whole way through. I would like the sauce on the side, ooohhh could I change this side with the onion rings? I don't even know if that is what I wanted to order, but the pure beauty of having full command of the language to describe what you wanted was great.

If I haven't been back to England for a while, the first thing that leaps out at me is the amount of complaining from people amongst themselves. Complaining, whingeing, bitching, ordering family members around, blaming each other for whatever thing went wrong. I don't know if it's exclusively English/British (yes, I've read that other thread), but it doesn't seem to happen here as much. I don't think it's badly meant, usually they're just tired, but it reminds me how to behave in public!

I love shopping when I go home, mainly because it is all so cheap! But the customer service drives me nuts, especially because all the people working in shops are on comission...you ask for a pair of pants, be sure they will also try to sell you a jacket, a shirt and a jumper... all of that whilst you are inside the dressing room, because they will be standing outside, talking to you whilst you are trying your pair of pants on and "oh, why dont you come outside so that I can see how it looks?!?" the moment you walk into a shop, you get a new shadow...

Seeing beggars everywhere is also a killer, especially if they are children... living there you kind of get "used" to it, and sort of goes into "ignore-modus"... but everytime I go home, it just breaks my heart, and I want to help them, give them food or whatever...

But I think the biggest shock is being back home, under the same roof as my parents... I love them, dont get me wrong... but sometimes I think they forget it has been almost 7 years since I have been gone, and yes, I have grown up, and no, I dont think I have to tell them where I am going everytime I leave the house... although, the way I get spoiled when I am there is something I could get used to easily...!

Yep Tom thought the same things about Canada his first visit there. The EXACT same things.

He went into an electronics shop...quite a large chain...and there was someone around every corner. He just wanted to look at the stuff without being asked a million questions. He practically ran out of there.

The first time we went out to eat...again the waiter was over and asking what we wanted in a flash. Tom was still taking in his surroundings and had not even had a chance to open the menu. The waiter was prompt and always in our face. He quickly brought the bill at the end and naturally expected us to pay and get the hell out of there. It freaked Tom out.

The tax...same issue. He was like 'What? These prices are 15% more than what appears on the label?' hehe.

The cheeseburger thing is spot on. So many times here when I order a burger (and good decent burgers are really hard to find here) I try to specify that I don't want everything (especially mayo) slopped on there. I like a plain burger. But they just don't get there here...I spend my time having to go through each item with them...'ohne Gurken...ohne Salat...nur Fleisch mit Brot' etc. etc. Still the burger comes with something I didn't want.

Major peeves about home are the driving speed restrictions (tooo slooow) and the fact that there are Stop signs everywhere (which yes...you are required to stop at). I am used to it...but Tom just marvels in wonder everytime we go back.

Something you just get used to I guess. Not sure which I prefer yet...but then again, I haven't been living here that long.

apropos service, this is a 2 way street. I had the same experience when I went back so won't judge. BUT having worked in restaurants and bars both here and there I must say the work atmosphere is much more pleasant back home.

In germany as a waitress you feel a strict seperation between server and client. No mingling, flirting, chatting, basically no fun at all. I used to really enjoy waitressing and often joked around and went out with my customers after work. The personell added to the atmosphere. You may think it's very superficial but that isn't always the case, it's just a matter of bringing a little friendliness and enjoyment into an otherwise boring job.

Here I really felt a differentiation almost a degradation to servant status, that I must be "seen and not heard". Smiling, appreciating one's business or any other display of emotion not encouraged.

We wonder why the service is so bad here

Actually, I never get the feeling that the customers or restaurant staff consider the servers to be "servants" here. In most cases, I get more the feeling of I have a job, I don't need your puny little order of an apfelschorle to bring meaning to my day.

The differences I find:

I was called a jet-setter by my sister for saying "ciao" for goodbye.

I tend to crowd people when shopping. Meaning if they are standing at a rack of clothes looking at something, I have no qualms about standing shoulder to shoulder with them looking at it too. Until they pull away and I remember where I am.

I'm surprised when people I don't know smile and say hello and look me in the eye when out walking.

I am amazed at how big the grocery stores are. Although I love it, I do wonder how it's possible that people need 45 different types of breakfast cereal to choose from. And 29 different types of yogurt, but not one full-fat version...

Oh, and when I go to Britain, I piss people off to no end by not queueing for the bus. I don't even realise it until it's too late and I'm already on it.

i had a tendency to say what i wanted, meaning i was direct. no mincing words, 'til my friends said i had become aggressive in europe! and with the customer service thing, i just started saying "I'll let you know when I need your help" and tried to smile with it or just started speaking German.

i went to visit a friend the last time around and had to drive 16 miles to get to her place. okay, it was all highway and took 15 minutes, but i had to drive!

I have the same experience. My colleauges back home have accused me of becoming german because I cut to the chase. I forgot about small-talk. I actually like the personal/business separation now. I never realized how little I cared about hearing what so-and-so's kids were up to until I went back and had to hear it after a long break.

I miss nice bartenders you can chit-chat too. You can't really just walk into a bar here and sort of blah-blah over a beer with the bartender unless you're an established local.

I never liked people talking to me in stores and I still don't. But I did (and do) miss the convenience of being able to buy what I want whenever I want.

But really what strikes me most is the fact that the rest of the world just doesn't seem to exist back home. People are not really that interested in knowing what it's like over here. What they really want to hear is me complaining and when I praise things I like in Germany, they just accuse me of being German now, aber so ist es.

Amen.

I'd forgotten about this one. I'm used to saying ciao (or tschau, as some German friends write it) even to people in England. Big no-no! Yuppies say it, or at least where I'm from, ciao is seen as snobby and pretentious.

I miss being able to go shopping for my food at 2am, which is usually when I have time to go do something like food shopping. But, I've also gotten used to planning that into the day when it's needed, and knowing if I'm going to have to do said food shopping a day in advance due to other commitments. However, my life tends to be a little bit too spontaneous (well, not planned out would be better to say), and sometimes it gets hard to get a photocopy...

"Kinkos is my favorite copy center, if I had to pick one.

Cause they're open 24 hours, and that's great!

Like if it's 5 AM and I decide I need 2 of something... I'm covered!

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and go 'AAHH SHIT!! oh yeah... Kinkos! That will not remain singular!'"
-Mitch Hedberg

I found the formality of Germany and the use of Herr this and Frau that very tough to adjust to when I first got here. Part of me was quite critical of it, actually. I thought it was stuck-up and pompous.

THEN, I went home for a visit.

I went in to a fast food joint, got to the counter, and a pimply-faced kid asked me my first name. Then she proceeded to tell me what a nice name it was. She kept repeating my name interspersed with wholly inane chatter. Her behaviour struck me as overly familiar (WAY over) and extremely innappropriate. And I suddenly GOT it. I'll never complain about German formality again.

My sister-in-law, who was with me at the time, had no objection though, and couldn't understand what my problem was!

Spot on. I used to beat around the bush a lot, but now I just say what's on my mind, it takes a lot less time. Some people find it harsh, but fuck 'em


My friend and I used to go to the grocery store after the bars closed to do scavenger hunts. I'd make a list of 10 items as would she, and then as soon as we got our carts we'd switch. Whoever got all the items first won. I'm sure the people there hate us, but it was really funny.


Americans only like to talk about themselves, I find. Here, people are always interested and asking questions about me and my background and home and stuff.
Most people say "wow, that's cool", when I tell them I live in Germany, but then they start talking about doritos or whatever

You must have worked in a pretty grumpy place.
Both as a pub customer and as a barman I flirt and joke and chat all the time.

What about the patriotism? All that singing of the bloody national anthem and the applauding of the troops whenever they turn up to a ball game? I am not a yank, but going over there it was this aspect that got on my tits even more than customer service. Plus, all that praying -kinell - it's more fanatical than men beating themselves in Tehran if you ask me.

Another thing, I saw a book on sale called "The Joy Of Work". Now that nearly made me puke.

After 10 years in Germany when I travel home it takes a good week before I stop adding German words when speaking with freind and families. I feel more European then American theses days, and funny enough when in Austria or elsewhere in Europe I feel very German (pity!).

As to the word expat, I've taken issue with it of late: I am an expat, but still a patriot. So I am not an ex-patriot.

expat = expatriate not ex-patriot

To give up residence in one's homeland.
Residing in a foreign country; expatriated

When I go home, I always forget how frantic the pace is. I can hardly keep up. Seriously, I know I must have been like that when I lived there, but I just can't remember...Going out for the evening in Dublin or London is almost a tactical event. I love, love, love drinking, but I don't see it as a competitive sport like they do at home. I just want to drink at my own pace, at home you get caught up in rounds, and before you know it you've got about 3 drinks lined up and your mates heckling you for not drinking fast enough. If you're in a group, there's all sorts of doorman hassels to contend with, and don't even start me on trying to catch a cab! People who haven't visited me in Munich think I'm making it up when i tell them about beergardens, where you can bring your own food.

I also forget that they don't seem to be able to enjoy their free time. Here, if the weather's nice, we go walking, hiking, cycling, whatever. There is no way in hell you'd get any of my friends or acquaintances back home to join in.

When I came here first, I thought it was such a culture shock that I would never get used to it. Now, I feel more at home here than anywhere, though there are some things i will never get used to (naked men wandering around the englisher gardens mainly).

The thing I noticed when I was home last summer(that I hadn't noticed on previous trips) was how freaking fat Americans are!! They really are!

And what was downright weird was that there are no cyclists on the streets in the city (Boston) except bike curriers (and that is just a whole other breed of cyclists).

Everything in the States just looks so much bigger than I remembered it (the people, the cars, the stores - everything). But, I miss shopping at any time I want.

Well according to the times in the Uk, it's "Cheerio Britain . . . you're German now"
So I'm just glad to be living here so that I'll be able to speak German when it all kicks off

Ask me again in about a year cuz only now I am making a permanent move.

The last couple of years I have traveled back and forth between the US and Germany every few weeks so never stayed at one place long enough to really feel the culture shocks. Yes, the differences are many and God knows I miss Bavaria everytime I am in the US.

I did notice huge improvement in phone customer service in the US though. Not that it was bad before but for some reason it feels like it got even better. Whether they get on your tits or not, American customer service in general is better than in any other country I have been to.

It's really interesting to see what others have added here. I've lived in Germany for a total of 9 years (all over the country) and I have changed a lot as a result. There are many things which grate on my nerves about the U.S. and (feel a bit guilty about this) "typical American" behavior. I do notice that Americans are just hollering at each other all the time...when you're there it's sort of OK because everyone is doing it, but when I am on the S-Bahn at 7.30 on the way to work I really, really don't want to be forced to listen. I feel like saying, "uh, excuse me but haven't you noticed that this car is virtually silent except for you screaming at one another?" I went back to the U.S. after some years living here and had to come back. I remember going to a party in a huge house in suburban Atlanta owned by some 30-year-old guy who just wanted to show me all of his possessions, and I was trying to talk to people but I realized they couldn't relate to me and vice-versa...and when I was in CT for business, I noticed everyone was just socializing in the office all day. I couldn't work because there were very loud, non-work-related conversations going on all around me! I suppose it's a way of making up for the puny 2-3 week annual vacation. Anyway, it's nice to hear that others have the same impression. The unfortunate consequence for me is that, even though I love Munich and I feel "at home" here, I am still and always will be a foreigner.

In August, I will have been in Germany 9 years. In that time, NONE of my family or friends have come to visit me. I keep telling everyone back home all the cool things to see and do here but no one has taken the bait. I will probably be leaving Germany next year and they will definitely regret not taking advantage of me being here.

I always notice the noise thing too when going back to the US. Everyone generally speaks much louder. I always get peeved in restaurants because I feel like in order to carry on a conversation with the people at my table, I have to yell to drown out the other people in the restaurant.

Another thing that really bothers me when going back to the US is seeing how materialistic many people are. People are always talking about what they are going to buy tomorrow, what they just bought, and what they are going to buy when they get enough money. It's the national pastime. What bothers me even more is when people start telling me what I need to buy.

We recently moved into a new place and what is the first thing my family said? You HAVE to get an interior decorator in there... fix the place up a bit. Ugh, whenever I visit family and friends whose houses have been "designed" by an interior decorator, I feel like I am in a museum for useless shit. Plaster-ionic-column-plant-holders, coordinated tiger print candles, couch pillows and picture frames, big bottles of oil with colored vegetables inside that match the kitchen towels, etc.

I hear you, brother!!

back in January, I was visiting my brother in Phoenix for the first time in years and we went to a "quiet" italian restaurant so we could talk. MAN! there was a frick'n parade of employees coming by to ask "is everything alright?" - I mean everybody!! All waiters / waitresses, the hostess, the manager, the head cook, and the greeter!!! so much for having a conversation...

best part was, the one time we did ask for something (like ketchup or something), the person forgot to bring it...

Stop it. You're all scaring me. I'm moving back soon.

Just moved back to the US after living in Munich for 5 years.

I got sick of the crappy weather and the high taxes.

Although I came to accept the differences betwen Germany and the US, and I made a real effort to integrate ( learned the language, made German friends, etc). I just knew that I wanted to leave - so I got my company to transfer me to sunny Florida.

Now that I am back - I am going nuts. Its not what I expected. I am amazed how ignorant most of the people are here and how boring it is to just drive around in your car all day just to go to a couple different stores. I can't believe I am saying this, but I miss Munich, and I think I did not fully appreciate everything that I had there.

So - if there is ayone over there like me - please enjoy your time in Munich, because sometimes you really never appreciate something until you don't have it anymore...

Topics merged by admin

@Snake.. i was staying in 343 autumn winter park several years ago when visiting my friends for two months. Have visited most of those mega malls available.

People in orlando is way much friendly than the germans in Munich!

Fully agree that, when things are so smooth, You really forget that you are so gifted.
How often do we realise if have a head or tooth. Only when they pain or cause problems.