German rules for the men's toilet

This is a real sign found above the toilet in Aquatic Meringue's bathroom:

It must be hard to get the aim right when you haven't got any arms.

And what do you do in case of the morning glory?

I have said something about this before. Its great to sit down whilst taking a pee! Its just a nice opportunity to rest up, have a cup of coffee, read the paper etc. Also, in the night, when you need to release all the beer you drank before passing out, you don't black out and whack your bonce on the pan if you're sittin'!

Clearly, I only sit at home - public loos, not a chance in hell.

In Singapore, my girlfriend told me that there were often footprints on the sides of the toilet bowl?!?! Basically, alot of Asian women seemingly prefer the good old squat n' drops, and so when confronted with a Thomas Crapper, stand on the edges. Blinding.

I would just like to clarify that, despite that sign being above my toilet, I do not sit down in order to drain the lizard. As pointed out by keydeck, the fellow in the picture has no arms - therefore my interpretation of the sign is that people without arms should always sit down, presumably because of the difficulty in aiming.

The Oktoberfest before last, I was here in Munich celebrating and went to one of the S-Bahn toilets (in Marienplatz I think). Not only had someone squatted on the seat to take a dump, but they had also managed to drop it directly onto the seat. And of course, being both male and drunk, I couldn't resist such a prime target - but even a British bladder full of Oktoberfest beer wasn't sufficient to "flush" it off the seat.

Read the paper? Surely not enough time to do that whilst syphoning the python?

What to do in case of morning glory?

Handstands. Mix business with exercise (vertical pushups)

Men now that we are in Deutchland should we stand or sit? You know what I mean! My girlfriend and I argue this all the time.

Topics merged by admin

Stand...

Its a pretty "piss poor" effort if you cant hit the pot...
If it was like a firemans hose, flailing in the wind, then sit..

You could also take a slash in the Sink... It has 2 Grab handles, Too

It's not really about the aiming, it's about the splattering.
Even if you are accurate enough to get your stream dead center, there's still the droplets that fly to the edges or splash when they hit the bowl. It stinks.

C'mon men ! Sit or stand!!!
Stand !!!
Besides I am blind as a bat but have perfect eyesight Hee-hee!

Shtand. Doing the other thing makesh a mesh.

Fer Fuck's sake!!!

STAND of course.

Madame Sin is Bavarian. When we first got to know each other she would harp on and on about sitting. So I used to go out and piss in the garden (standing up). I told her it was an old English custom, loosely based on "An Englishman's home is his castle", but called 'Marking territory'. When the spring came, and the days got longer, she capitulated. I compromised and got a Putzfrau.

Men who sit should have a vagina. We evolved to stand up and pee.

Besides, it's a nightmare playin' battleships sitting down

Honestly though, taking a stand, and insisting on standing up to piss, is one of the last vestiges of the male ego. I will change nappies, wash the dishes, go to the supermarket and perform culinary delights, but you have to draw a line somewhere. And this line's not for crossing.

Along with ironing. I just can't do it properly. Total lack of will power.

Whenever I get a tough German customer or supplier, I just imagine that they sit down to piss. And I think "Right! Psychologically, I now have you by the short and curlies.".

A sin is sin but being a recovering catholic I feel that I should not define my actions as being a sin or not a sin
Thanks SIN!

You're welcome. And congratulations on the recovery. I hope it didn't damage your brain cells too much.

But we need to know what the hell caused you to be so blind in the first place!

Welcome to Toytown. May your posts be lhotly replied to!

I need no response here

Juwst got in from the pub BTW but When i lived in Leipzig with a flatmate bitch she said i should sit. Needless to say I told her to fuck right off. Personally my body thinks i'm there for a different reason if i sit down...get it? An personally im not into that every time I visit the big boys room!

Oh and BTW the skanky german bitch only was once every 2nd day...fucking minger!

Ahhh this is truely a German phenomenon. I never had an argument before regarding my peeing habits until I came to Germany. My ex used to not talk to me for hours because I refused to sit down.

STAND... Women hate us can we can and they can't.. So they always complain. Any other reason is just to bitch and moan... Something women do very effieciently...

/me runs out of room before the $*#(@# hits the fan

The story of pee
Mates will help you pee like a man!

I do both these days because I feel like it. Sometimes, I just want to sit down and let loose and other times, I want to play "Fireman". Women who can't put the seat down are pathetic individuals looking for the last vestiges of power over man. Face it girls, if your too stupid to know whether the seat is up or down, then you need to go out into the garden like the dogs.

*See me running away just as fast as I can!*

From the Mates link above. What kind of soccer is this girl playing?

SIT... Unless you clean the bathroom. It is gross.

I do clean the bathroom, therefore I am man, hear me piss!

wow, I am agreeing with Sin twice in a row. Good times, good times.

Just like Madame Sin, Madame Roots is also Bavarian but she knows that Roots' Long John Silver has been around much longer than her and he has the right to do what he wants. LJS likes to aim and shoot while standing because it is his pleasure to do so and nobody tells him not to.

Stand up and fight.

and remember women's lib never happened

This makes the point mute:

I certainly understand why men prefer to stand, so let 'em. If there's splatter, clean it up. So simple. If you can show this much consideration, we promise not to leave menstrual blood all over the toilet. Fair enough? If that can't be managed, I can really think of 50 different ways a day to gross you out just as much. Revenge is sweet.

Women need men to pressure-wash the brown marks off the bowl in any case...

Gross-out? Au contraire. I'd look at that more like "redecoration". You really should come over for a visit some time.

woof.

You have to go with the flow, sometimes standing is good and sometimes sitting is good.

Gentlemen, if you are having a problem with this and the boom has been lowered on you, you can unleash the last ditch compromise.

"I will sit to pee if you stand to shit".

My work here is done.

Always was the man and refused to sit for a pee.

Now we have a small addition to our team she crawls about EVERYWHERE so in her interests and not anything else I now sit.

Anywhere else I stand of course.

As someone who used to clean the toilets in several bars in Boston as part of the bouncing routine (at minimum wage I might add) I can confirm that this is also a regular custom in the West.

The moment that first drop falls on the floor, you marked your territory. You pee, you mark, you conquer. Thats the way it happens in animal kingdom, thats the way it will be in man's kingdom. Give the lady her kitchen and you keep your bathroom.

Right. I can see the piss, shit and blood bathroom-marking war of the sexes and where this would end up. Eeeewww. I think I'd move in with the apes in the jungle for a bit of civilized behaviour.

...

Stand, obviously.

But there is splatter even if you're dead on target. We've all been for a piss wearing shorts and sandles, eh fellas?

eh, the splatter isn't so bad for me. Esp. if you aim for the water, I've found that its generally not that common. However, these stupid "poop ledge" toilets that are so popular here have led me to a rash of sitting down to pee at home. However, occasionally the smell from the number 2 makes me want to try and learn how to sit backwards on the thing. Idiot german toilet design.

And that picture is totally funny, though if I were the guy on the left, I'd hop over a urinal, knowing the general urinal choice rules.

In German if you sit you are a "Sitzpissler" which is also slang for someone who is yellow or a chicken. So if you are the type of man that obeys those signs or orders from the SO then shame on you.

Unfortunately sitting is not an option for me as it is unhygenic to have my knob dangling in the water.

So where did you get the US style toilet where the water comes up to the brim JE?

I have a confession to make: If I am a visitor, and they have a sign in the loo which says "Bitte Sitze zum Pinklen", I am very polite and accomodating. I take great care to aim around the bowl so it sounds like I'm actually sitting.

Long John Silver???

I didn't know you had a wooden dick roots man. Sorry, and all that

PS: I can see that some idiot will start a thread on what you call your penis next.

How about "Jim Dale Hogleg"...

If your better or worse half makes you sit then I am sorry.

Why don't you come over to my place and I will make you wash my car...hehe pushover!

This sign was allegedly snapped in a Berlin guest house...



... and this is the toilet!



Topics merged by admin

I am NOT sitting on that.

I visited a couple the other day, and they were showing off their new bathroom suite which... had a urinal ! (which the wife was refusing to clean for some reason).

So, at least in Germany, the urinal looks like it has a bright future.

wow... the things i learn! i didnt know guys here sat... weird! (my dog does squat though and he's a guy...)

Just for the men with German Partners..., be honest if u dare...

Stand or sit when u must go...

Topics merged by admin

Perfect for a Friday. If you haven't voted, here's your chance to go to the polls

All men should fight for their right to stand !!

...except when you're pooing...

Its not natural for men to sit when peeing.

If men are to be required to sit instead of stand, then how about women being required to stand instead of sit?

What a load of nonsense. They don't require you to sit because they want to make your life miserable (well, some might), they do it to cut down on the splash and mess factor. If you've ever been in a public women's washroom you'll know that forcing women to stand is not a good idea. Our aim sucks.

I've got no problem with my boyfriend standing while peeing but he's the one that cleans the bathroom.