Rant: petty minded German rail officials

I need to have a rant!

I live out West of Munich in the sticks and decided to go to the Volkschule in Augsburg to get my dodgy german up to an acceptable standard. So Monday morning I go to my local train station and get a nice man to help me buy a day return ticket out the machine - no problemo.

School seems OK so the next morning I decide to buy a weekly ticket. Push the same buttons (Zone 5 adult etc) but of course just select the weekly option. All seems pretty simple - weekly ticket costing a bit less than 5 x daily tickets of course.

Today after my class the sun was shining and I get on the train home feeling at peace with the world. Ticket Inspector comes around and I whip out my ticket and he says:

"Where is your blue card?" (in German of course)

I can see where this is going so decide that using English is my safest route at this point. I tell him I don't have a blue card.

He says no blue card = 40 Euro fine. So we get into a discussion about this blue card. It turns out that I can only obtain a blue card from "Augsburg Bahnof" and nowhere else on the planet!

We then talk about how could I have got a blue card from Augsburg when that was my destination? and why have they got a ticket machine at my station if the tickets are no good without a blue card?

He then offers that I can continue past my stop to the end of the line with him, then travel back the other way to Augsburg, collect a blue card, and then travel back home (an extra 2.5 hours sitting on the train).

The main thing I confirm is that I HAVE purchased the correct ticket, but don't have the magic blue card. Anyway so I finally ask the obvious...how much is the blue card?

...?

...?

Yup you guessed - the blue card is FREE!!!

So I have paid the correct amount, just don't have the FREE card that goes with it from Augsburg.

My choices at that stage are pay the 40 Euros or sit on the train with this tos*er for another 2.5 hours. So I pay the fine and get off at my stop. Also confirming that tomorrow I must buy a daily ticket (on top of my weekly) to get to Augsburg for the free blue card.

Now I had heard these people were sticklers for rules etc but I reckon this is just taking the p*ss. He admits I am paying the right fare, I have diddled no-one and indeed clearly he has some flexibility...but only if I endure a 2.5 hour round trip.

Apologies for this being a long rant but are these people mad?

I can buy a day return from the machine with no blue card - but not a weekly?

What function does the blue card perform if it costs diddly squat?

Why have a ticket machine that only issues one ticket when you clearly need two?

It's a shame 'cos I was just beginning to rather like the place and this wan*er has set me back a couple of steps today.

I am already jay walking past the red man on empty streets, and driving my car without my driving licence on me, and speeding - but this is fair game as I know the rules.

I spoke to my mate who has lived in Augsburg all his life and he said "What's a blue card?". I said to the ticket inspector the system is different in London and he smirked and said "Yeah it's different all over Germany".

And before you all jump on my back I am aware that ignorance is no excuse in the eyes of the law, and YES I was polite to the inspector (although my eyes did start to widen in amazement at some stages).

I mean for gawds sake - I paid the right price for the buggery ticket!!!

Johhny.

p.s. Do I win "longest rant" competition?

Great rant, great rant... go to the flugelbahnhof next to the Hauptbahnhof to negotiate your way out of all or part of the fine. I did that and was quite successful.

Yeah, that definitely deserves a rant.

I'm wracking my brain trying to think of a reason they'd want you to have a FREE card that you can only get from one station--but I can't come up with one.

What the hell?

Unless the weekly ticket to/from Augsberg is cheaper than one for local rides?

F___ that. Still doesn't make sense.

In London to use a monthly and some weekly season tickets you need to have a free photocard - it's to stop people transferring the ticket because the ticket is marked with a serial number that matches that on your photocard. Does the weekly ticket have a space for a serial number to be filled in? I'm guessing not, in which case the German system is once again proven to be a whole load of crap...

Keydeck's rant might be longer.
And he single spaced it.

Had a dig around and found the order form on the avv website:
http://www.avv-augsburg.de/Bestellschein.PDF
It looks like a purely info-gathering excercise (which makes it even worse in my mind) and they call it a Kundenkarte.

Rant Part II

So I go to the Bahnof and they direct to some place round the corner for the Kundekhart.

It is free - they do not ask for any proof of my name, address, photo or nuffink! Very tempted to go for the full Philip Windsor, 1 The Mall address...

Try to get my money back and the old bat lectures me about how everything is also different in Italy blah blah and that is she goes to another country she must learn the rules and I should have asked someone. I pointed out that THE MACHINE at my station is not very chatty and I did get help originally when purchasing my day card from another customer.

Then I am trying to get my money back, she makes a phone call and says "no problem" a man is coming to help because it should only be 7 euros charge. Then the "man" comes and f*ck me - its the sodding guard himself so the whole row starts all over again and needless to say I lose.

Anyway I have the blue card so I am legal for now. I do have to write the number from the blue card onto the ticket if that makes sense? So in theory that stops it being transferred although I reckon it would be just as easy to not write on the ticket of you wanna swap the damn things around.

Still sux.

Ok Johnny E. I think your rant qualifies now for the longest.
AND for the one that personally sux the most on your end.

Did other people on this train also have their blue card or did he single you out? I would imagine that he has several people a day riding back in his 'custody' to get these effing cards. Sounds like Rosco P. Coltraine

Did you check if this is prominently displayed at the stations? If not then I reckon you would have a case: there is some consumer office where you can report such stuff.

in germany?

surely this qualifies for the "joke of the day" award?

Thanks for the suggestion MysteryMan but I reckon I would have to be a total masochist to wanna continue this particular battle any further. Not sure who the local equivalent of Anne Robinson is around here anyway.

Just my flipping luck that the to**er guard was around today and not whizzing about giving someone else the hump. I wouldn't mind if I was travelling "schwarz" but I had actually paid the full price!

PLAN B:

For those kind souls still reading this tedious tale! In fact I have a lovely shiny fast motorbike in my garage that I would prefer to use to get to Augsburg. However of course I am currently locked in another saga to get it taxed and insured.

Although the bike is only 6 months old and ironically a KTM (so made in Austria which is pretty damn German if you ask me), I need to get a "TUV" which is their version of an MOT. Of course you can't just get tested so mine is pre-booked for next Thursday.

Meanwhile I also discover I must fill in another form and wait 2 weeks+ that allows them to search their system to check the bike is not already registered or stolen or some other boll*x.

Then in a perfect symbiotic match of the UK and German systems I have just spotted that the DVLA Swansea have put the make of my bike as "Lancia" rather than "KTM" on my V5. Clearly the Germans will have a field day on this, so I now need new documents from Swansea I reckon.

Clearly my little problems are nothing compared to 3rd world debt, starvation or running out of beer money...but ToyTownMunich is providing an excellent public service in allowing me to get it all out of my system

Cheers guys. (I suggest a moderator closes this thread or I could go on for weeks at this rate).

No, keep it open. I can't do anything to help and I'm getting a slight bit of sadistic pleasure out of reading about your troubles, but I really, honestly, feel for you. At least your complaints are good ones, rather than "I can't get low carbohydrate chocolate chip cookies here!"

OK, every month I buy my Isar ticket, (a monthly zone ticket) safe in the knowledge that I am not travelling Schwarz. Then just like this morning, you start to wonder whether it is really worth it, where is this money going ?

My U-Bahn was completely on-time, I arrive at Hauptbahnhof, only to be told there is a major outage (not for the first time) and my S-Bahn is going from a platform upstairs, I move upstairs to get told it's back to normal now, then once again told to go upstairs, after finally finding the right place to stand, I then proceed to wait at least 1 hour for my S-Bahn, which made me completely late, and I have missed one of meeting ! aaahhhhhh...