American table manners

I recently had a coffee near Maximilianstr. and the Dutch waiter said that it was easy to discern Americans (apart from their breadth and bulk) by their table manners. Americans, he claimed, seldom use their knives and spoons. If at all possible they eat the entire meal with a fork. Needless to say this wasn't a compliment. American simplicity, or a failure of Miss Manners to educate the proletariat?

I dont think this is true at all...
Im an american and I constantly use my spoon and knife!
I mean how else do you stir your coffee and get that stuff out from under your nails!

Funny, my (half american) husband was raised here (by his German mother) and I still have to remind him to put out knives when setting the table. I find it pretty annoying myself (yes, I am American as well, but we always used our knives at the table!).

That's ignorance on the Dutch waiters part. Assuming right-hand dominance, Americans usually use a knife in the right hand and a fork in the left to cut a few pieces, then put down the knife, transfering the fork back to the right hand.

Nothing to do with lack of manners, lack of observation on the waiter's part is more likely.

When possible (e.g. lasagna), sure, otherwise use the required utensils. No sense in dirtying and having to wash silverware that isn't needed.

/Knows manners.
//Knows that many foods cut just fine with the side of a fork.
///Discerns the Dutch by observing which people eat their own dry skin flakes.

It is my understanding that the americans eat their peas with honey.

@Showem.
I have always as above and felt it was somehow awkward and improper to shift the fork from hand to hand?

I'm British and when I can get away with it, I eat just with the fork. I suffer from lazyarseitus though.

Yeah sometimes you don't need a knife...a fork will suffice. Also the fork transfering thing...I do that and dunno why. I was just taught that way. I don't like using the fork upside down in my mouth (which is how you tend to when you use left hand). It clinks my teeth and I hate that.

The thing I notice is that Germans eat their pizza with a knife and fork, even deep dish pan pizza at Pizza Hut. Tom and I were in there one day and it reminded me of that Seinfeld episode where everyone was eating the chocolate bar with a knife and fork. I wanted to stand up like Elaine and yell 'What's wrong with you people...it's pizza...!!!'

Americans have recently perfected the ability to eat one-handed to leave the other hand free to defend themselves against "back stabbing" from ungrateful Europeans.

I use my fork when and where I choose..they are not eating for you and if one is is going to judge on simple formalities I feel I really do not to need to continue to have a conversation with that party but then again I really dont care what people think of me...

Do what you want..to each his or her own...

The only utensil I was provided with in elementary school:

It is practical to eat with one hand, when you are feeding a baby with the other. Isn't nice to blame the baby for all the stains on your shirt?

Just make sure that everything you cook can be eaten, with a layer of cheese (perferably melted), in a sandwich. No need for any cutlery at all then. If you are worried that it may be a little too runny then get one of those sandwich makers that seal the sarnie all the way round..

But don't forget the cheese

Really? I use my knife with my left hand and fork with the right - never pull any of this switchy stuff (though I'm a lefty who was switched).


I've never known anyone to do that. Butter maybe, honey no.

@ Drivin west - a spork! That brings back memories!

If you hold the knife in your left, then you are a lefty who has remained a lefty surely??

If I can cut it with a fork, that's what I'll do. But then we're a far more efficient nation, eh?

Thanks alot, DrivinWest, now I have a sudden uncontrollable desire for Taco Bell! Anyone know where I can find a taco salad?!?!?!

I was going to mention your indasemme style eating habits, you beat me to it.

IPJ:

1. Yes, really. I put your experience down to leftiness.

2. It makes them stay on the knife.

I eat as a proper American eats - cut with the knife in right hand, fork in left, put the knife down and switch sides. Sometimes, if I'm at home(never in public) I will cut something with the side of my fork(if it's possible).

However, when it comes to cake - all bets are off.

My boyfriend always says 'you're in Germany, start eating like a German' to which I respond 'well, when you lived in the States, did you eat like an American(with the knife switching thing)?' That usually makes him shut up.

I was switched to write with my right hand, but I still throw with the left, kick with the left foot (my soccer coaches loved me) and cut my food with my left hand.

Your left hand is still dominate then. That why you don't need to switch.

I find this quite odd. Is that really normal practise in America?

Yes.

At home my parents never allowed me to switch hands; knife right, fork left. They referred to it as the "European way." I still do the same today if the food requires a knife, otherwise it's spoon/fork in the right hand with my left hand.

My anal retentive, Heloise worshipping, New Zealander ex-girlfriend did it the so-called "American way" like most of you above.

What about in American "high society" or something? (assuming such a thing exists). At some posh formal 320 pieces of cutlery dinner, it would not be considered very good form to start swapping hands and the like.
What about eating noodle soup? Do Americans use the right hand for chopstix to pick out bits of stuff, then put them down and pick up the soup spoon?

I don't switch knife and fork, probably because I am left handed and just keep the fork in that hand. (Thank goodness I wasn't forced to switch handedness, I don't think I would have coped that well),

@ don_riina et al

Recommended Etiquette and Manners:

I wasn't "forced" to switch. More like I was an ignorant, innocent child convinced to switch. It wasn't even my parents, it was my babysitter.

Still, bummer. Making, convincing, forcing children to switch is something that, thankfully, doesn't happen much anymore. I am so left-dominant I honestly don't know how I would cope.

What are the rules as far as manners go? I mean, what rule were the "americans" breaking in the original posters thing?

Surely it just depends on whats being eaten? Chopsticks or a spoon or a fork are what I would usually use, always in my right hand because im right handed. If a knife is called for I use that in my right hand too, using the fork in my left to hold the food down.

Thats normal isnt it? I dont get all this hand swapping stuff I mean 90% of the time the cutlery is on the table anyway while you are chewing right?

But I wouldnt have a clue what is or isnt manners about that. All I know is that its rude to eat a chopsticks dish with a knife and fork.

Oh and I never understood what the fucking spoon is for when eating spaghetti, I just use the fork. Reminds of that vanilla ice lyric "oh my god homeboy, you probably eat spaghetti with a spoon!"

But what about holding the fork upsidedown (Concave side down if you are concave up person or vice versa)? Did I miss something from Miss Manners? Which would be the "proper" way?
take care,
space

OK, this all sounds about right to me;


The Zig Zag Method
By American custom, which was brought about partly by the late introduction of the fork into the culture, all three utensils are intended for use primarily with the right hand, which is the more capable hand for most people. This leads to some complicated maneuvering when foods, such as meat, require the use of knife and fork to obtain a bite of manageable size. When this is the case, the fork is held in the left hand, turned so that the tines point downward, the better to hold the meat in place while the right hand operates the knife. After a bite-sized piece has been cut, the diner sets the knife down on the plate and transfers the fork to the right hand, so that it can be used to carry the newly cut morsel to the mouth. Emily Post calls this the "zig-zag" style.

European Style
The European, or "Continental," style of using knife and fork is somewhat more efficient, and its practice is also common in the United States, where left-handed children are no longer forced to learn to wield a fork with their right hands. According to this method, the fork is held continuously in the left hand and used for eating. When food must be cut, the fork is used exactly as in the American style, except that once the bite has been separated from the whole, it is conveyed directly to the mouth on the downward-facing fork. Regardless of which style is used to operate fork and knife, it is important never to cut more than one or two bites at one time.

If it wasn't considered uncouth, I'd eat with a spoon only. I do at home (unless we have guests, the missus is used to it by now), but not in public. Its not any kind of preference or upbringing, I'm just a greedy bastard and like to get me grub down me neck as quick as possible.

OK, anyone want to explain the 'off hand' (usually the left) being placed in the lap (most Americans) as opposed to being rested on the table, supported by the wrist (Germans)? I was at a dinner with my German fiance and many of his colleagues when his boss (a very nice man who I've met many other times) leaned over and told me that people would begin to wonder what I was doing 'down there' if I left my hand in my lap for the remainder of dinner. That broke my habit right then and there, but I was always taught that leaving your off hand on the table was rude. Anyone have any insight?

Elbows on the table are considered rude, but not hands. I don't know anyone who eats with their hand in their lap.

If you wanna be really posh, then once you lay hands on the knife (right) and fork (left) then your hands should not actually leave the cutlery (ie don't put it down) until you are finished.

Napkins are another difference between cultures. I learnt that you sit down at the table, you put the napkin into your lap straight away. Others leave it on the side until the food is served and then move it to their lap, others still just leave it on the side.

And see I was always told that fork etc. should be put down while chewing otherwise you were being greedy and rude. So many different etiquettes...why can't you just do what feels comfy? It would be hard to break a 30-year-old way of life just because you move to a different country (not saying you shouldn't attempt to integrate i.e. the chopstick thing...just that it would be really hard).

Actually, I changed from zig-zag method to European when I moved here. Just one too many frigid stares from the family I lived with when the knife fell off the plate.

wow... !! never knew eating with a fork and a knife has so many intricacies to it. Imagine my plight when i first came here.
Nothing can beat the comfort level of using your hands.

I dread going to any place where they are too picky about how you use your knife and fork.

'Buzz

Yeah I probably would change too if I could actually manipulate anything with my left hand. It is almost useless (although I love it just as much as my right ) but I can't manage to use the fork in that left-handed upside-down manner without my teeth taking a beating (or the food somehow falling off).

So where do I fit in? Do I lack etiquette on both sides of the puddle if I always keep the knife in the left and fork in the right?

Here's another one: are people in North America the only ones who eat fries/chips with their hands and not with a fork?

The cultured people in the world take their chips soaked in vinegar, wrapped in paper, and nosh 'em down with a diddy wooden fork.

You forgot the salt, don.

Yep, that's the feeling here. Leave your hand on the table to avoid stares.

I eat my peas with honey,
I've done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny,
but it keeps them on the knife.

apparently no author is known, but anyone who finds it, please post.

I've gotten to like the European style, less switching really is easier for me now. Less chance of dropping something. And I too was taught to put my napkin in my lap as soon as I sat down -- gets it out of the way of the people bringing things to the table.

I was always taught the left hand in the lap - on top of the napkin. Although my grandmothers always had their left hand on the table.
I noticed Saturday night(while eating with a bunch of Germans) that they all left their napkins on the table.

Ugh.

Why the hand in the lap? There's an explanation here.

I think Don Rina should be quite relieved to see any American put down his knife in his presence.