Could a kung fu master beat a lion in a fight?

Only serious answers please, this is important

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Otto Von Vegas
I've been wondering for many years whether a martial arts expert (a grand master of some sort) could successfully beat up a lion (even a female lion). Does anybody out there have any theories (or experience) in this regard?

Err... the same goes for a gorilla, that's another pretty awesome beast, but maybe someone like Hulk Hogan could wrestle a gorilla into submission... Any insight welcome.

Thanks and regards

In both cases the human would get creamed if they were alone and only allowed to use their bare hands. The advantage (most) humans have is intelligence so that we can manufacture effective weapons and cooperate with each other to amplify our physical abilities and therefore come out on top in most situations where it is human versus animal.

Edit: Unless the animal in each case was sedated or otherwise impaired before we get into realms of fantasy.
On gorillas - with the exception of Chuck of course - no one is going to wrestle a gorilla into submission

The strength of a silverback gorilla has never been measured, but it should be sufficient to say that anecdotal evidence of animals observed almost casually bending and snapping objects such as tempered steel bars (2 inches thick) and giant bamboo stalks, suggest that the gorilla has the muscle power of between 8-15 men and possibly more. Jersey Zoos Jambo was observed to hang from one arm (he was over 400 lbs) while methodically ripping over 200 ft of inner ceiling planks from the roof of the new gorilla house with his other arm (the planks were securely screwed and nailed), simply because he didn't like them. No other animal outside of the great apes has such a combination of strength and dexterity. The fact that gorillas don't use their strength to attack other animals in the manner of chimpanzees or baboons means very little as they are by their very nature, peaceful animals. Gorillas also have one of the most powerful jaws of any animal, which they use to get to the piths of various trees and plants. They can also use them in defense, and can inflict serious wounds with their bites if they so wish.
Oh and a Kung-fu master couldn't even beat up a decent boxer in a straight fight so a lion would just eat him.
Hockey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a blaster

Han Solo

Hockey religions? Oh mighty puck bestow your blessings upon this ice?
Watched a documentary a while back with some guy (park ranger maybe) talking about grizzly bears. He and a friend were out in the woods and his mate (who he said did know much better) got too close to a bear. The bear stood up and hit him with once with his paw which decapitated him instantly.

If you're gonna be a bear, be a grizzly
Mad Dog - Cannonball Run
The bear stood up and hit him with once with his paw which decapitated him instantly.

why is it so important?
what are you planning?
Anyone remember that classic 80s game Way of the Exploding Fist?


In one of the levels you had to punch a charging bull in the forehead. If you got it right the bull went down.

I often wondered if that technique would work in real life?

Martial experts can easily smash blocks of wood and bricks with their bare fists so why not a skull?
Answered my own question - apparently this guy could do it:

That's what the man said, but you'd maybe know better.
The bear stood up and hit him with once with his paw which decapitated him instantly.
Only a Ninja Griz could do that. A blow like that from a normal Griz would only crush your skull and snap your neck.
Oh mighty puck bestow your blessings upon this ice?
You sound like an Isles fan.

Speaking of fishermen. An Alaska King Crab Fisherman would swab the deck with both of them.
Otto Von Vegas
Thanks for all that guys, I was planning on training really hard for a couple of weeks, jumping into the lions enclosure at Munich Zoo and beating the crap out of the big male who seems to think he's really tough, to impress my girlfriend. But from your comments it seems a bit harder than I thought, I think I'll train for an extra 2 weeks, and maybe throw in a couple of pressups too.

Thanks guys, I'll let you know how it went!
This topic sounds like a joke, lets work on the punchline?

A Kung-Fu Master is walking in the woods and runs into a lion, bear, and a gorilla...
Lets start off with something a little more probable. Who would win here:

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