Staring Germans, why do they do it so?

I am not sure if I should really admit to this publicly, but I am a German and I stare.
I know I stare because:

1. when I was little I was told off by one of the bigger girls on the school bus one day because apparently I had stared at her all the way home. I had no recollection of actually doing so.
2. Last year my optician told me to stop staring so much as it actually dries my eyes out.

I never notice myself staring. I think that most of the time when I do, I am just completely lost in thought.
I also used to have a habit of listening into other people's conversations, especially when they spoke in another language, to try and work out where they were from. I don't do that any more, but if you are talking to another TTer and you see someone staring at you, it might just be that they are enjoying your conversation so much that they can't help looking at you...

I've met a fair number of German women who stare. Often this was at me as to them maybe I have quite a unique appearance. One was particularly bad and even when I looked back and smiled at her she carried on. At first I found it very unsettling but they were all perfectly nice people so I knew they didn't mean anything bad. Unless they thought I was an ugly git, I suppose.

I can not say much! I think I have been here to long.. Not only do I now stare but when I hear english... I move closer and stare harder.. I also see my neighborhood as a television.. the programs are better.. so I hang on the balcony watching "hood TV".. it has begun to annoy my friends.

Who cares?
In Africa outside the big cities people stare at white visitors.
In Asia significantly taller foreigners draw a lot of attention.

You think people stare at you and do not stare at others? It's a psycholoical effect if you stay or live in a foreign place.
If i'm in the US and talk German in the Bus, subway etc. i feel everybody is looking at me. If you expect people to stare at you, they do.
Just because people look at each other.

I'm sure expat message boards all over the world know this phenomenon. It's somehow self infllicted.

From a Germans perspective:
I look at strange people like i look at lamp posts or cars.
If there's a Porsche Carrera GT i give it a second look, i just scan my enviroment and do not stare.
Though if someone expects me to stare he will think i stare, even though my eyes just briefly wandered around.

Self conception is different when you're foreign to a place. You feel like standing out. I'm 100% sure this is just psyche.
People look at me all the time, i do not feel stared at, because i'm home.

While a part of the feeling may be psychological, what gets most foreigners is the 'sustained stare'. Like people dont even blink, they just look at/through you. I guess its okay for people to be curious about others and have a glance, but not glare at them. And it is not a question of speaking the language or looking different, because it happens even to my German friends, just that they had never realized it.

And yeah, in many cultures, especially the US, it is considered impolite to stare at people.

I do my "Cheshire Cat Grin" and it works every time!

EDIT: What is it, the 200th time this opinion is being posted!

You think the Germans are bad about staring? Go to Poland...it's much worse there.

I just smile when I catch people staring. They don't care much for that.

Or go to India - they stare the hell out of me. World champions in staring.

I must admit, I do catch myself "staring" from time to time - not meaning to be rude, it's just that something catches my eye (perhaps a nice earring or particularly beautiful eyes) and it returns to that point every now and again. But if I notice anyone is offended, I will apologize and perhaps ask where that earring is from ;-) I guess the best reply is to smile and look back, most people are embarrassed only by knowing their staring has been noticed and they will stop.

I only get stares when I'm out with my Austrian hubby . . . Maybe different people stare for different reasons, but one lady actually ask my husband if he went to Thailand to "get me" (nod, nod, wink, wink, say no more) . . . I thought it was very funny, but my husband found no humor in it whatsoever

But I get the most stares when I'm in Thailand . . . There, I am ginormous compared to the locals, and many try to figure out if I'm Thai, or mixed

I´m sure nothing of the above compares to the stares I got in Zimbabwe. Relaxing on the tarmac in Masvingo I did feel very much like a tourist attraction.

Give lots of stares myself as well, though. When there´s so many interesting people around you, it would be a waste to look down.

One day on the U-Bahn in Munich, an older Bavarian woman sitting across from me stared and stared. She finally spoke up and told me I should find an agent and go into modeling, because I was very "photogenic." Even made me turn my head side to side. As she got off at her station, she kept on saying, "Do it! Do it!" until the doors closed. By which time everyone in the the car was staring.

Maybe they are not staring at you but indeed 'through you' - in German there is the phrase 'Loecher in die Luft starren' , that's maybe what people are doing.

Also called "Goasgschau" or "Ins Kastl neischaun" in Bavarian.

Its not quite the staring that annoys me , its the looking up and down. Thats just down right rude

After reading several posts, it seems to me that there are several reasonable explanations for differences in behavior.

I think it may help discussion if the behaviors were categorized in some way. For example:

- staring, looking at somebody for a prolonged period of time
- looking up and down
- glaring, negative look while staring

Last time a German stared at me in the street I grabbed the nearest broken bottle and shoved it in his face, but then, i'm English.

Hey, they stare everywhere. I am down near Darmstadt near the odenwald and boy do they stare. At first I was like this is embrassing then you think of well, whilst there staring at me their not bothering anyone else. LOL Just laugh it not worth getting all uptight about it.

Just had to light this candle again.

This morning on my way to work on the S-Bahn I had an old coot who sat there staring at me like me like he'd been injected with curare. I was reading the paper, and kept folding it down to see if he was still staring right at me, and darn it, he was! This kept going on for twenty minutes straight.

I whipped out my phone and took a picture of him (attached) just because it was becoming such a farce.

At my stop, I stood by the door and he swiveled to keep staring some more. Right before my stop, I did a cartoon stare at him as if he had lobsters coming out of his ears ... and he kept it up. I then got off at my stop but had enough time to take two steps to the left, thumped on the window and then glared at him through the window whilst sticking out my tongue and (drum roll) he was so startled that he finally averted his glance.

Victory was mine!

He was enamoured by your rugged good looks and found you to be the object of his desire. Why didn't you introduce yourself? Chicken? He only wanted to know you.

From the psychotic, unblinking aspect of the whole thing, perhaps he only wanted to know me in the biblical sense!

Trust me, it was really, really weird. We're talkin' Charles Manson sans forehead tatoo weird.

They do it everywhere and they do it because they are mostly rude - hasn't anyone noticed?

Where we live (Hamburg-Nienstedten), we get groups of Yuppy Sunday walkers (with rich-kid brats) going down to the Elbe River, who stare at us in the garden as they walk by, while talking as if they've swallowed a megaphone - you know the type... hands behind the back, an intelligent look, theatre style body language and the air of someone who's left the Porsche at home - oh, and if it's cooler, the long black coat. We thought about digging a few tiger traps, and watch them disappear (a new sport), but thought it would be better to raise the level of bushes and fences, as it is not as enjoyable in prison. We are currently researching ways of driving their dogs mad as they walk by, with some form of scarer or Wolf's fat.

OK... just a bit o' fun

As far as an open-mind is concerned. There are those that stare at multi-racial couples etc and just think ''how nice... it's wonderful that it's possible in today's World''. These people stare too, but in a positive way. Just a positive thought...

My o/h (German) does it and it does annoy me. "Look at him (stranger passing by in the street) perhaps he's...." . "Who? That person I've never seen before? Why on earth would I give a toss? Why would I even look twice?".

It's inter-twined with a more navel-gazing / gossipy / interfering culture than a lot of us (certainly from the UK) are used to. More thinking / dwelling on stuff rather than focussing on getting on with one's own life.

It's also much more normal here to feel entitled to be a spectator in other people's lives (and meddle when necessary).

I´ve never noticed the Germans staring much, but have often been asked where I come from? - I always give them an honest answer and then ask where they come from and if they like it here? - usually shuts them up!!

I've said this dozens of times.

When they stare, look them straight in the eyes and say " Hello ! " in a bright and breezy way to them.

Totally and utterly fucks them up, they become so uncomfortable and start shufling around whilst looking at anything or anyone but you.

I stopped taking that from Germans a long time ago. I stare everyone down now, because they will always look away.

My big question is what does a German do when they catch another German rudely staring at them? Do they cower out of fear that they did something verboten?

I was on the S-Bahn today, and the woman beside me caught sight of one of my tattoos and did not approve of it.

I know this because she stage whispered "Look at that girl's tattoo!" to her friend opposite and then stared fixedly at it from Karlsplatz to Ostbahnhof as though she was expecting it to turn into a kaleidoscope.

She then coughed all over it as a parting present.

Well there haven't yet been any reports of an airborne strain but you're better off being safe. As soon as you can, get yourself off to a pedestrian crossing. Stand there until someone crosses against the red light. If you can resist the urge to chastise them then you should be ok. Don't ignore it whatever you do. If you've caught German then it can be very hard to shake off.

Edit: 'get yourself off to a pedestrian crossing' is meant in the sense of actually going to one rather than bringing yourself to a state of sexual bliss whilst thinking about one. Just thought I'd better mention that because, well, you never know.

I can't believe that. Everyone on the S-Bahn here (as revealed by the recent hot weather) looks like they're headed for tryouts at the circus! I saw a woman tonight with an upper arm tatoo that looked like it came straight off a some old war vet down at the local VFW back home.

nice Edit - I was wondering how it could possibly help against an infection of "Germanitis"!!

That's awesome. Perhaps it was my oh so youthful appearance that bothered her.

I did the pedestrian crossing test and was fine, although I did find that I myself was unable to cross the light on red. Perhaps I should get the German antiviral? I've put Kila on the CD player and am eating chips between bread with a mug of tea to preserve my own nationalistic tendencies.

I think you are onto something here. To my experience Germans usually don’t notice or at least don’t care if somebody is staring at them. See, to realise that somebody stares at you you need to put yourself in his position for a tiny bit. You need to make an assumptions on his motivation for a bit. And here's the thing: Germans don't do that. For a German it's just a person who’s glancing at him while he's glancing back. Is that person looking at him, his hair cut, somebody behind him or maybe it's string into space absorbed in thoughts? IMHO, the typical German couldn’t care less.

Therefor Germans also logically assume others don’t mind either. They might stare at an interesting tattoo of yours or forgot to look away and are lost in thoughts about something else, since they don't suspect you are even aware of their presence, they have no idea they are considered annoying.

So what to do? Since you can’t forbid people to look in whatever direction they like and if you fail to ignore it the German way, try pretending being curious.
"Entschuldigung, kennen wir uns irgendwo her?" or
"'tschuldigung, habe ich irgendwas im Gesicht?"

Vary between a friendly question and a commanding tone for best results.

You could of course just completely ignore the shit and get on with your life? I mean ,…WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK

Interesting theories, although I'm not sure if I believe that these people are unaware of what they are doing. I have entertained the theory that some of it may go back to the days when many members of the population were informants for one regime or another, which got some people into the habit of staring and got others into the habit of being stared at.

I'm not sure though and this one still remains a mystery to me. I have always wanted to print up a T-Shirt that says "Glotz nicht so an!" and wear it around.

Well some stare some don't! Some people do stare at me sometimes but not more than in any other places!

Was on the U-bahn the other day with my brother and some friends, sitting across from an elderly German woman. My brother was telling a story, complete with swearing and "offensive" jokes, in his very distinct Boston accent much to the amusement of the elderly woman. She couldn't stop staring and finally my brother apologized to her, thinking he had been too loud and offensive. To everyone's surprise, the woman smiled and said in shaky English, "Oh, Eye vas just enjooying ze akzent. Itt soundz veree nice." So after all the staring, she just liked listening to the accent and enjoyed hearing English.

Based on past experiences, this was a once in a lifetime happening... most elderly (all ages apply) staring folk I have encountered are just genuinely annoyed with all things not Deutsch and in line with day-to-day order.

In a new twist to the staring phenomenon that seems to be extremely prevalent in Wiesbaden, a guy riding his bicycle purposely tried to crash into me so that I would look up at him.

He then decided to follow me for a block until suddenly I looked to my left and there he was, staring at me on his bike. Creeped out, I told him to go away and I quickly crossed the street, and thankfully he left.

The whole situation was really bizarre...and I don't know why he thought it'd be a good idea to ask me out after he tried to run me over with his bike.

No, and it's not staring. Many Germans go out on sundays (here in D fpr example down the riverfront) to be "stared" at. Though nobody would call it "staring". Why do foreigners feel so uncomfortable when somebody looks at them. If you cross a place with 1000 people, you will have people that look at you. What's so strange on that thought. If you pass a little cafe with tables pointing to the riverwalk, do you expect everybody staring at their tables when someone passes by?

Btw in the US people also stare at me when you speak German in a subway or whatever. Had that in Boston... a whole train was looking at me, but it didn't make me feel bad at all. I also looked at them.

And how do you know they "stare" when you don't look at them??? odd...

I like staring at people on the S-Bahn I take to/from work each day. In London, when I took the tube instead of cycling, you end up staring at the gaps between people's heads being careful not to be caught just staring into the groin of someone standing. You can pretend to read the stupid poems and adverts that LT stick up, but the reality is you really need to read a book or close your eyes and listen to an MP3.

Staring Update!

Today I did an experiment an stared at some Germans in public to see how they would react. In every case they gave me an irritated, hostile glare in return. I am not sure however what to conclude from this experiment, as it could be that I received this reaction because I was not staring in proper German fashion, and that they react differently to a geuine teutonic stare.

I guess I gotta work on my stare. Anyone have any tips?

To do a Teutonic stare you have to relax the facial muscles below your eyes. Check out the news readers on TV for the look. Notice how they don't express emotion with their eyes - they do it with their eyebrows. And staring is perfectly normal here especially among older people. Heck, I've been here for over 6 years and am now quite comfortable staring at folks who look a little different. I tried poking my tongue out once but got no reaction - they just kept staring, quite unself conscious.

Reminds me of the time I travelled in Indonesia. There, people will call out "Hallo Mister" just to get a reaction from you, like you're a zoo exhibit. They don't think of you as a human person with whom they can relate. A bit like the locals here who cat-call any Thai woman who happens to be working in Germany, because they assume she's a sex worker (and therefore worthy of their abuse). Ignorant? Yes. Normal? In this part of the world, yes. Emotionally intelligent? You be the judge.

Clicking through a website linked over on the poorly translated signs thread, I noticed a t-shirt that all of us who dislike teutonic staring and glaring simply must buy.

Great for us Inselaffen but what about the rest of you?

I get a lot of stares because of my California license plates, and a car that is "loud" and not available here. Is that maybe why everyone tailgates me, as well??