Is German TV awful?

Right then,

Since we had our dish restored to its former glory thanks to the excellent Grinner, I have just realised how much good telly I had been missing. Catching the old Dr Who was a pleasure, BBC news and simply clicking on those BBC1234 there's always something worthwhile on. Last night I happened upon a documentaryon the Beeb about Genghis Khan and his miltary campaigns. Having experienced Mongolia it was somewhat fascinating.

But German TV is I am sorry to say, awful. Boring documentaries, RTL type celeb "Die Alm" insults to the intelligence, Big Brother (who the hell still watches thes poor sods couped up in their volutary prison)?

I want to be proved wrong. I will say I do love "Wetten Dass...?" when it is on as I like the international stars which one might never see on prime time British Saturday TV (nearest we ever got was surprise guests on Noel's House Party, and they were always ancient half dead BBC celebs).

Please tell me their telly is better.

(Yes its bloody raining outside and I was wet on the bike today.)

(and I had to get up at 5am this morning to calm down my little one)

I think if you're German and get Premiere (loads of sport/movies/documentary channels) it's not so boring...remember the five free channels in the UK aren't exactly thrilling all the time.

that said, I myself have Sky, the whole package in fact.

Premiere sucks in comparison to Sky

German free TV sucks in comparison to British Free TV despite the higher number of German channels. German-made content is sadly at a minimum, especially on the private channels.

Having said that, there are one or two things worth watching. My favourites were Edel & Starck and Bewegte Männer.

For the kids, i think Schloß Einstein seems pretty good.

A short list, i know but...

Dont waste your money on satelite, just download stuff.

shall i shan't i answer...

i think it would be wrong to slag it off 100% but yep 80% is cheaply produced sensationalist content. since the introduction of commercial tv (mid-eighties) standards and commitment have dropped, no doubt about it, and the ability for the ard/zdf to have advertising has not helped them in the headless quest for better viewer figures. basicly too many polititians with their self interests, too many lawyers who are scared shitless of anything provactive, too many young managers who dont have the experience to take risks and the stamina to see a production through bad figures (the office is a good example of this) and give it time to settle. sadley what you end up with is this meaningless mash of nothingness, formats bought in and badly remade, comedy which is modern and provocative, not. the structure here is wrong, the remits are not there and nobody can sort it out. best german programming - BR, WDR and NDR. everybody else just manages to get the local news done.

Hey isn'T Edel and Strack the one with the tasty blonde in it? I watch that one for her if its on!

but has anyone seen 'Pimp mein Fahrrad' ? Absolutely brilliant. MTV or not.

Must also admit I like Stefan Raab sometimes...

You need to compare like with like, have you seen some of the SHITE that is prodiuced as TV in Britain?

Here's the schedules for tonight, 5pm to 11pm on BBC1 and ARD1:

News
Lifestyle Magazine
2 Soap Operas
A comedy
Quiz Show
Weather, Business News
News
2 Drama / Romance series
Business Magazine
In Depth News Show
Weather

Childrens Shows
Soap Opera
News
Reality Show
Soap Opera
2 Drama / Romance series
News
Weather

Bit hard to spot the difference, no?

Strikes me that you are contradicting yourself and proving yourself wrong on more than one occasion...

Blonde she is not, but still very attractive.
Good series that.
And the thing on ZDF last night with Jürgen Vogel and Christiane Paul "Außer Kontrolle" was extremely good.
There is a lot of crap on though but there is a load of crap on British telly. Slightly less crap on UK telly maybe, but still not the 200% quality that some would say.
I can't have sat due to my landlord and protected building and don't even have cable
PS "Die Alm" was Pro7 not RTL. Have noticed that RTL has now copied "Footballers' Wives"

i have eaten a currywurst with her in Berlin on the Kuh'damm.

mmmmm tasty.

And RTL copying Prisoner Cell Block H !

hee is that Vinegar Tits?

this assumes you already have access to a computer and broadband with a flat rate. if you don't, then downloading can be just as expensive as satellite.

Isn't that Hinter Gittern? I think that's a rip off of a British women's prison drama.

99% of all TV is awful, country of origin independent.

Occasional kernels in the turd:

The Sopranos
Lost
The Office
Six Feet Under
Arrested Development
etc.

its funny how english speakers seem to have similar opinions,- im also a fan ( well i sometimes watch it) of edel &stark

i too think german tv is terrible but for different reasons. Mostly its dubbed american shit or clones of american shit. so if its rubbish in the first place its even worse when dubbed into german.

Having recently aquired a satelite system (self alligned sorry no reccomendation here:-)) i get the bbc as well and although its a vast improvement, theres still a lot of rubbish on it ( neighbours and eastenders plus gardening and antique shows). mindless gunk. However the BBC score very well in terms of documentaries and news. They are a cut above

and they have doctor who

why is "like for like" only ARD v BBC1?

Is this not a little narrow minded.

Surely like for like is comparing all free to view channels in both countries and comparing pay tv in both countries. After all, the title of the thread was not "is the BBC better than ARD" but "is German TV crap".

If you look at the freeview channels available on DVB-T (Free-to-view via satellite is still lacking a few channels that are free on the terrestrial DVDB-T platform) to the channels available here on either DVB-T, analog or digital cable or satellite, I think the British channels win hands down, on variety, quality (both of home-made and imported content).

"Hinter Gittern" is "Prisoner: Cell Block H" not "Bad Girls" and is even made by Grundy (who made "Prisoner" in Australia).
The German version of "Lost" is RTL's "Verschollern" which is God-awful, Pro 7 is showing the original dubbed.
A lot of formats are sold or copied, particularly on non-state channels.
Grundy is part of Freemantle is part of Endemol. Which does worldwide successes like "Who wants to be a millionaire?" or "Big Brother".
Grundy also makes GZSZ.

ehem. Jeremy, aren't we forgetting that pinacle of Aussie drama "Prisoner: Cell Block H"?

(the photo is that lesbian "screw" from cell block h and not from "Hinter Gittern")

I think Grtho was just giving an example...

Well remember that German TV is geared towards Germans, so of course it's not going to appeal 100% to non-natives. all my German chums are quite content with German TV as far as I know, they don't think it's crap.
whereas I prefer my English TV.

Ah Cell Block H! Old days on ITV when you were waiting for Jerry Springer to come on.

I am so bloody old I can even remember when ITV used to close for the night at 1am.

I quite like German telly. I also assume you are including imported programmes as 'german telly' as UK TV imports a lot too.

Actually I will admit to watching German tv films, even stuff like Rosamunda Pilcher cos the German with subtitles is easy to follow.

It is also very funny to watch them behyving in Cornwall as if everyoine speaks perfect German. Walk into a library and everyone there is speaking Deutsch. Wonderful...

yeah true, gzsz is ok.

yes, just like in most war films all the Germans/Russians/Arabs/etc are all speaking English.

@grthro ;-) i love your media comparisons, you have the potential to be a media manager with that one! even the ard have critisied their lack of quality entertainment output and intend to rectify it asap. they used to be the flag carrying inernational award winning german station. as for people being happy, they have no alternative but to be happy with it! the fact is very little eoriginal programming is coming out of german stations at the moment. and mr bucket since when are garden programs mindless gunk? give me gardeners world any day!!!

Evil Edward: welcome to TT thats a brilliant name.

Falsch! I have seen good war films with English subtitled under the Deutsch. Saw one the other day but buggered if I can remember it.,

OG, I mean don't compare the flagship BBC Quality stuff (like "Blue Planet" which got shown in Germany too) with the a low end show ("The Alm" for example) on the German private networks.

I'm sure Channel Five or even, ITV or even the once excellent Channel 4 churn out plenty of crap that could give RTL or Pro 7 or Sat1 a run for their money to the bottom of the barrell. BBC produce plenty of dross too.

And as for those "house buying" programmes in Britain:

STOMP
KILL
MAIM
GOUGE

Well isnt it better to watch A Place in the Sun then?

bit off topic here but what are the cost for satelite tv from the uk? installation? monthly fee?

If you're a kid from the 70s:

WHY DON'T YOU?
Switch off your television and go and do something less boring instead!

I've hardly watched TV for over a year and hardly miss it.

Once tried to watch a Simpsons in German...the voices just weren't right. Sometimes think that jokes in English just don't translate into German and half the humour is lost.

errrr if you have hardly watched TV in over a year how can you make a qualified assessment of the standard of British TV to German TV. YOu have to have experienced them to make judgements. And quite afew free tv channels have launched on the terrestrial platform in the UK in the last year or so, which means you now have the breadth like you have in Germany (no real increase in quality from some offerings but at least more choice).

@ Stilettos: many jokes do not translate. And the often don't try and translate them but will change the script slightly and use a German joke, which will be funny to the locals but lost on most ex-pats.

One example of when German TV didn't take such care about non-translatable jokes is an episode of "Married with Children" where they order Pizza and the delivery boy asks for a tip and Al grabs him by the scruff of the neck and says "I'll give you a tip.." bangs his head against the wall and says "walls are hard"

In German he asks for a "Trinkgeld" Al says "Ich gebe dir einen Tipp, die Wände sind hart". Not only not funny in German, it doesn't actually make any sense.

I hardly watch any TV OG but I did in the past 8 years or so (I was TV-less before my ex arrived on the scene and am again now) and I do ocassionally see a bit of TV by accident. TBH, I feel more than qualified to talk about the general trends I see in broadcasting in Britain and Germany than the ex-pat who just goes: "Ugh, German TV is crap" before settling sown to watch some Murdoch Phlegm on Sky.

I think there are fundamental things that Britain does better than Germany: Broadcasting for minorities for example. Some things Germany spanks the UK: Regional broadcasting for example.

Don't forget kids, German public broadcasting is the daughter of the BBC!

children often grow up to disappoint there parents

German TV sucks balls

and I know plenty of Germans who agree with me

the fcukin weather 4castin is top quality..worth paying your GEZ for that alone.

Let's just hope it is bright and sunny on May 7th eh Flogger!!

wee Mun, what specifically don't you like and how is the British version better?

<Note: I am playing a bit of devil's advocate here>

I do not like the dubbing, I think the language should be original with subtitles, and I think the German production stuff eg. Verliebt in Berlin is complete shoit. I hate the ads for ringtones, and if I ever meet tweety I am going to stamp on him. The one thing I reckon are half decent are the consumer programs.

The UK obviously shows everything in it's original language, and produces some fantastic television.

Click on S4C the Weslh language channel.

Subtitles are in Welsh on 777.

Translate-eight-eight is on 888.

Easy.

Subtitling on German TV is a joke.

@Grtho: Ugh, German TV is crap! But I do not subscribe to Sky and never will.

he he he, if it wasn't for that murdoch scum we eouldn't be able to enjoy brit tv. fact. so lets not knock the guy all the time. if it wasn't for his tenacity in the early 90's, you'd have a black screen to look at.
as to regional programming, how do you measure that? yes BR WDR etc do produce a good selection of "regional" programs but they waste millions on duplication of formats which would have function quiet easly bundesweit. but if you consider regional programming as in welsh, english, scottish, irish then there the comparisons become difficult. where the british system is leading, is the independent production companies and the quota each channel has to fill. here its a scam, there its the driving force in television.
general trends? you'll see the fruits of the rationalisation in the bbc soon enough, but only because of the success of the sky platform. companies such as UK:TV are now becoming a leading commisioner in make over/diy/cooking/ and my beloved gardening programs instead of a place of repeats. this trend is freeing up bbc commisioning to be mre adventurous. dont forget the biggest opperation with cross medial synergies is the beeb, its a blooming giant. look at how things have gone from radio to bbc3 than one than two etc. the presant german system is just not providing the opportunities for those good ideas that are out there, sadly. they could start with an ard2 as in bbc2 IMHO