Favourite quotes from The Simpsons

still laughing at "super nintendo chalmers" must have missed that episode

i can't give you exact quotes, but a few random classic bits for me:

- when homer gets his hand stuck in the coke machine, the guys come to cut him out and they ask him "homer, are you still holding onto the can?" "your point being?"

- there are a couple of call waiting tunes that are ace: when homer gets locked up in the madhouse with michael jackson, they are playing "Crazy"; when they ring missing persons for maggie, they are playing "Baby come back"

Burns: Listen, Mr Spielbergo, Schindler & I are like peas in a pod: we're both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis ... but mine worked, dammit!
---
Bart: kwyjibo ... a big, dumb, balding North American ape. With no chin.

Homer: You know what's great about you English? Octopussy. I must have seen that movie like,... twice.

@latecomer

Wich episode was the one when the song was the cats in the cradle ...
was it when bart left to be Mr burns son?

wohoo! Happy Go Lucky Slide!

The two best though have just to be the lines
Woo-Hoo!
D-oh!
Who said America has not contributed to the culture scene.

@perdido

not sure. could also be the "bigger brothers" episode.

Homer quotes:

Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos!

Marge, old people don't need companionship, they need to be isolated and studied to see what useful nutrients can be obtained from them...

If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, its that girls should stick to girl's sports, such as hot oil wrestling foxy boxy and such and such...

Ahh, Beer! My one weakness...my Achilles Heel, if you will...

Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But lets just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.

Homer: Turkey is dry ! What demon from the depths of hell created thee?!?!?

Homer: were always getting vacinations for Maggie for diseases she doesnt even have

(the episode where Homer has mistakenly been listening to an "improve your vocabulary" CD at nights)

Marge: Homer, haven't you eaten enough?
Homer: But Marge, my gastronomic repacity knows no satiety!

"Remember that time your dog ate my fish, and then you tried to tell me that I never had any fish?! Then why'd I have the bowl, Bart?! Why'd I have the bowl!?!"

"I'm disrespectful to dirt! Can you see I am serious! Out of my way, all of you. This is no place for loafers! Join me or die! Can you do any less?"

"I wash myself with a rag on a stick."

http://www.wimp.com/simpsons/ ... questions are the same each time, same order as well. But still fun the first time through anyway.

64k first effort...

Got up to 500.000..man I thought I was better than this...

1 Mil 1st shot.

Homer to Bart and Millhouse "What are you doing? And I want a non-gay explanation"

Millhouse to Homer "We're drunk, very drunk"

Homer "Oh thank God!"

all time best clip

Homer to Lisa - "you have my complete and undivided attention"

cut to homer thought bubble: classic disney cartoon running whilst lisa rabbits on in the background

also

eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding...

also

homer has last peanut - drops it down side of couch doh! - looks for it but can't find it - finds 20 dollar bill - awww
Homer's brain: money can buy many peanuts
Homer: Explain how !
Homer's brain: money can be exchanged for goods and services
Homer: Woohoo!

basically any clip where homer has any internal dialogue with his brain - cos that pretty much how I work too !!

Homer: Brain - I don't like you and you don't like me, but lets just get through this and I can go back to slowly killing you with beer.
Brain: Its a deal !

Homer to Lisa: LISA ! - In this house we obey the Laws of Thermodynamics !!!

Homer: There are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way!
Bart: Isn't that just the wrong way?
Homer: Yeah, but faster!

Simpsons quotes - so priceless!!

Marge: Where'd you meet this Trent Steele? Moe's?
Homer: No way, he's a winner. He has a company that makes
computers, or, a computer that makes companies. Anyway, you
wouldn't understand.

Also, as Why8 mentioned,

Lenny: Ah, my eye! My doctor said I wasn't supposed to get pudding in it.

Homer : Two hours? Why'd they build this ghost town so far away?
Lisa : Because they discovered gold right over there.
Homer : It's because they're stupid, that's why. That's why everybody does everything.

From the gay episode with the Steel Workers of America:
Hot stuff coming through! (genious translation: Heisses von hinten!)
and
Keep Reaching for the Rainbow

One word classic...

Homer: "mmmmm...sacrilicious!"

When Marge tell him that he's not praying to God, but actually a pancake that was stuck to the ceiling, which falls to the floor. He, of course, picks it up and takes a bite.

All the kids on there school trip to the police station. All are lead into the confiscated packages room.. Ralph picks a package up and gets attacked by dogs,

"mine has dog food!"

Bart passing out business cards to his family on the couch.. "look, I'm a business jerk!"

@mv

can you remember who the package was addressed to?

nope. Disco Stew?

Otto

oh, duh.

I still like the episode with Pinchy the lobster. Can't think of any quotes, just Homer crying while he's eating him.

Homer: "everyone is stupid except me".

Chocolate Microscopes???

[/b] Homer: A gun is not a weapon Marge, it's a tool. Like a butcher knife, or a harpoon, or... or an alligator.

Homer: To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems!

[b]Willy Willy: I cannot fit into a wee vent, you croquet-playing mitt-muncher!
Skinner Skinner: Grease your self up and go in, you... you guff-speaking work-slacker.
Willy Willy: Ooh, good comeback.

Homer Homer: You know, Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me. She said 'Homer, you're a big disappointment.' And God bless her soul, she was really onto something.

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.

Wiggum: Put out an APB on a Uosdwis R. Dewoh. Uh, better start with Greektown.
Friday: That's "Homer J. Simpson", Chief. You're reading it upside down.
Wiggum: Uh, cancel that APB. But, uh, bring back some of them, uh, gyros.
Friday: Uh, Chief? You're talking into your wallet.

and the time chief wiggum and homer were chasing marge and her friend through the desert. He was trying to tell the station where he was.

Wiggum: Im in the desert. On a road... oh god... trees! The Earth's Sun is directly above us right... NOW!

Also,

Homer to Bart: "Bart, why you little !@#$$$$" Then Bart is being choked.

[img]http://www.simpsoncrazy.com/wallpapers/HomerBart2_1024.gif[/img]

I'd like to change my quote from earlier due to the consumption of beer...

Barney Gumble "JUST HOOK IT TO MY VEIN ! ! !" (upon winning the Springfield short film festival, and getting a lifetime supply of DUFF beer.)

Marge(in bed): Homer, have you been drinking?
Homer: Noooo!
Homer: well...ten beers

An impressed Bart to Homer: 'Dad your very learned'

Homer 'It's pronounced learnd son!'

Homer outside the Isotope stadium waiting for Marge and the kids. Singing to himself
"Hitler was a jerk, Mussolini too"

following on from this:
Willy to Lunch Lady Doris: GREASE ME UP WOMAN !!! (rips shirt open)
Lunch Lady Doris: Okey-dokey (looks stunned)

Unknown old guy: Tis a fine barn but is no pool, english.

-------
Moe: Its can flash fry a bull in 40 seconds
Homer: 40 seconds, but I want it now.

-------

Adam West: Pure West (taps his chest)

-------

Burns: Fly my pretties, FLY! Continue the research

------

Homer at the dinner table telling a story: and as for your grandmother, she shouldn't have mouthed off like that.

I have just read this whole post and have nearly been in tears, I love simpson quotes. Just one line and it all comes flooding back. Legendary.

Homer: mmmm..elephant fresh

" See myyyyyy vest, see my vest, made of real gorilla chest..."

Over to you team... finish it off.

Karl: Hey, I heard we're goin' to Ape Island.
Lenny: Yeah, to capture a giant ape.
Karl: I wished we were going to Candy Apple Island.
Charlie: Candy Apple Island? What do they got there?
Karl: Apes. But they're not so big.

"American patriot. American patriot. Master of the atom. Scourge of the despot!" -Mr. Burns thinking he is about to die.

Moe: 'Since I was a kid I always had a hankerin' to go to Easter Island.'

Barney: ' Ah yeh! The famous statues of Easter Island.'

Moe: 'They got statues there?!?...'

Speaking of my earlier post of Homer calling Hitler a jerk. Has anyone noticed that Matt Groening often pokes fun of Hitler(and East St. Louis) alot on the Simpsons.

I've noticed it a bit, I guess..

Saw this one last night:
Bart: "God, could you please tell your daughter, the tooth fairy, to award me well with this tooth?"

"Simpson! Homer Simpson!
He's the greatest guy in history.
From the! Town of Springfield!
He's about to hit a chestnut tree!
D'oh!"
(sung to the Flintstones tune)

Do'eth!!!

Homer: "That's so funny, cus they're monkeys heehee!"

I just saw the episode where Homer makes his house a Hostel. All the german kids make him sing 99 luftballons. ha-ha

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L27G_HM24o0