Expressions in German

Hello,

I'd like to get to actually talk to people here without sounding like a 1970s b-movie robot, but leo or other translators are not precise enough for what I want to know

I mostly want to get to learn some German expressions (I heard a friend said something like "you can steal horses with me" or "with me you can't eat strawberries"). Especially, I'd be grateful if you could provide translations like:

no way! (I heard here it's called "das kommt nicht in die Tüte" but it's really childish)
I wish! (Ich wünsche?)
Well... (like at the beggining of a sentence, or like, when you want to give your opinion about something)
Dude (I heard some say "alter" or "junge")
you/I/they/it sucks
you've got another thing coming
Come on!
give me a break!
waste time, benchwarming (for when people ask me what do I do at school )
I fucked up
It's fucked up
I'm totally wasted (or pissed, for the English at the forums )
cops

Aaaaand.. for the moment, I can't think of more, will add soon ^^

Oh, and another thing, what's the difference between "echt?" and "wirklich?"

No way = auf (gar) keinen Fall
I wish = schön wär's
you/I/they/it sucks = ... ist Scheiße
Come on! = ach bitte!
I fucked up = ich habe Scheiße gebaut (or Mist for the slightly less offensive version)
It's fucked up = es ist im Arsch
I'm totally wasted = ich bin total zu (high on cannabis = bekifft; drunk = besoffen)

It's cherries, actually, not strawberries. "Mit mir ist nicht gut Kirschen essen."

Do be careful when using slang, idiomatic expressions and German swear words unless your German is pretty good already otherwise it will sound weird.

So what does it mean?

What are you looking at?= Bin ich Kino, oder was?

"Naja" is a good filler and sentence starter..

"Ach so!!" for "really", or "aha"...

"No way!!" is "Nee, oder?!!"(light disbelief), or "Das ist doch nicht dein Ernst" (you're kidding..)

"Leck mich am Arsch" for "Kiss my ass"..

It means that someone is difficult to get along with and comes from a saying from the Middle Ages when cherries were reserved for the nobility: Mit hohen Herren ist nicht gut Kirschen essen, sie spucken einem die Steine ins Gesicht.

Cops = bulle.

Echt? V Wirklich? I think it is just in the degree of disbelief which is shown by the tone used.

Echt is a more suprised "you are shitting me" type question but Wirklich is sort of "are you being serious" response.

Intonation is the key to those though IMO.

alcohol:
Ich bin dicht
Ich bin stramm
Ich bin breit
Ich bin voll
Ich bin zu
plus many more...
(+ various attributes: Knallvoll, knalldicht, Lattenstram, zu wie'n u, voll wie 1000 Russen, Stramm wie 'ne Natter)
etc. Very often people use their own creations, so it will vary alot. My friends often say 'bleu' (as in 'blue' in french), because in German you used to say "Ich bin blau".

drugs:
drup (only Rheinland)
druff (other regions)
breit (only weed - no amphetamines)
auf ... (on ...)
etc.

Habankabt (Frankish) - (which means) Haben sie einen gehabt

try http://pukkagerman.com/ they teach you how to "Pimp Your German".