Antipodean Stammtisch Archive

Ah... finally an excuse for my fave pic right now...

The following joke is light-hearted and in no way intended to offend anyone, neither in a direct nor implied way. And it is especially not intended to cause any undue stress to American's or any other nationality. Please keep this in mind before attempting to analyse any terms that may be used.

>>
In a train car there was an Australian, a Kiwi, a spectacular looking
blonde and a frightfully awful looking fat lady.
After several minutes of the trip the train happens to pass through
a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they
leave the tunnel, the Kiwi had a big red slap mark on his cheek.
The blonde thought - "That Kiwi son of a bitch wanted to touch
me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who in turn
must have slapped his face."
The fat lady thought - "This dirty old Kiwi laid his hands on
the blonde and she smacked him."
The Kiwi thought - "That f**king Australian put his hand on
that blonde and by mistake she slapped me."
The Australian thought - "I hope there's another tunnel soon so
I can smack that stupid Kiwi again."

Holy shit...just saw this one. Sorry, warner, you'll have to kick your sheep out first.

nah nah, i'm over sheep, can't get them to shave and it's a bitch when you have hair/wool/fleece in your mouthful of whipped cream

baaaaaaaaaa
baaaaaaaaaa

it's actually the aussies who like sheep by the way, have you ever asked hubby for a picture of his ex's? who's that, baaaaaabara?

it's better to screw a sheep than to be one

pretty amazing bitch fight going on here, I preferred it when the girls were going at each other though, what about instead of a stammtisch
someone organizes a big pool of jelly and the girls wrestle it out,
topless of course.

If you wanna organise another Stammtisch at The Arc, we'll make sure we serve Aussie beers and do meat pies - just need about a week notice for that...

Are you sure you want us in your establishment? The pies might get thrown.
We'll probably argue about who greeted one another in the appropriate manner. I'm sure it would be good entertainment for all though.

Better order some jelly too.

fuck man, i'd kill for a meat pie

We draw the line at killing each other at The Arc...

Spoil sport.

can you do steak and cheese?

We could - if there was demand for it...

what quantity would justify a demand?

Sorry davr, no jelly-wrestling for me. I'll go jelly-wrestle at the American Stammtisch, where I'm "qualified" to suggest a date and nobody makes any unprovoked attacks on the foreigners.

I just think its great there's going to be so many different Stammtisches organised now ... the more the better! Hazza, better stock up on the pies & chili-dogs.

sorry for crashing into a place where I don't belong. I just wanna say that I have seen many fights on this board and this one should be among the winners.

Watch yourself there roots, we attack foreigners on this thread!


How cute is this latest post? IPJ, you are so adorable when you get all agitated and drive yourself into a frenzy of insulted hysteria over words.


The thing I love most about this.. er fight ...is that it all flared up at the beginning when someone said 'sorry to burst your bubble' to IPJ and she took serious offence on a 'cultural basis'. MWA!

Class.

Well now we`re back to where I wanted this to be, Marshbot ( girl )
versus IPJ ( foreign girl ), could you boys keep your comments to yourself until the claws come again out and we see some serious scratching and possibly some hair pulling ( I love wathcing long haired girls pulling each others ponytails )

ps. Could someone pass the popcorn ?

You know, I just might have to come to this event. I kind of want to meet this person who finds me so important that it's her goal to twist anything I say into hysteria, because her ultimate pleasure is making herself feel better than me.

I'm making a wild guess here, but I'm thinking she must be the blonde chick at The Arc who was wandering around kissing a bunch of different guys all night on New Years. It was pretty funny, this person walked up to me in the bathroom and said "I know who you are" and then dipped her hand in the sink and splashed water in my face.

Ooh, it's an anti-fan club! It's really actually pretty flattering for someone to pay so much attention to you, even if it's because they hate you.

p.s. my lovely little anti-fan, I see from your post history that you just feel the need to come to the defense of any Kiwi I disagree with. Funny, this defending people based on their nationality and not their point of view. How petty.

Oh My God!! Ha ha!
I have no idea who you are IPJ, but that is a really funny story. And a bit sad/embarrassing too. Do girls actually act like that around you? It sounds like school-yard stuff.
I would love to know who that girl was though. Please own up!!

And thanks for sharing that story with us.

But no I don't hate you. Just because I disagree with some of the silly things you say doesn't mean I hate you. I can't imagine this forum without an IPJ telling people off.

And erm... you are on the aussie/kiwi stammtisch thread... hence I am defending a kiwi. I don't check nationalities of people you are picking on before daring to defy you.

I am also flattered that I have you so worked up you are going through my post history and creating a persona about which evil girl I am! I can't believe I've gotten under your skin so bad!

This is rather fun actually - you are soooo easy to wind up! Carry on!

@IPJ, you sure showed Marshbot with that story. How embarrassing for you.

I hope you've sufficiently recovered from that traumatising incident, did you see your therapist??

I have to come back to this again cos it's just so damned funny.

IPJ, this has to be the funniest thing I've seen you post, i didn't even know that you had a sense of humour!!

When you go out do you require security to prevent these vicious attacks??

I was wondering when you'd wander in, Timmeh. I saw you lurking earlier. Sorry, there's no US-bashing for you to join in on, but we can create some for you, if you like. The US is the spawn of the devil and has never done anything for humanity. The US contributes nothing to the world but destruction and mayhem. Discuss.

Amazing about the thing at the Arc, isnt' it? I think it's a chick thing...and quite pathetic to not have the guts to identify herself. Men don't pull silly shit like that. It was seriously funny, though.

Yes, Marshbot, I looked through your post history to try and see exactly what I said to you to provoke such an attack from you. Most people don't go ballistic unprovoked like you did for no reason. I didn't see anything, but I can only conclude that I obviously must have unintentionally made you feel small at some point.

IPJ, seriously time to consider a change in medication.
I don't US Bash, I Bush bash...oooer, that sounds a bit odd don't it?

Timmeh, I'm assuming you can't possibly be serious. Do I have to quote you, Mr. "red, white and poo?"

That's a piss take, not US bashing.

Everyone is retarded. This thread is as good as any to mention that.

If I were you I'd be packing heat (water gat) just in case you cross her path again, then you can pop a cap in her ass

[img]http://www.7uh.com/uploader/uploads/retarded.jpg[/img]

*drooling*

@ IPJ

Where'd you get that pic of Timmeh?

I look snappy with my favourite shirt on I reckon!

Nice one. OK, stop stalking me please or trying to build profiles about who I am or whatever it is you're doing, it's a leeetle bit psychotic.
I don't trust that you are entirely stable based on your posts and I think you are taking this all a bit seriously. (And yes, this is the first time I've mentioned something I think about you and not just your posts, just to take a leaf out of your book). I see a few signs of delusion in your replies also. Kinda scary.

No lady. You haven't found anything in your hunt through my posts because you haven't done anything to me to provoke me... if you consider this provoked??

If you want an honest answer I just noticed that you bully lots of people regularly and whenever someone doesn't agree with what you say you label them either Anti-American (as demonstrated with Timmeh above), or you take the argument personally and think that someone hates you/dislikes you as a person/wants to throw water in your face. And yes, I consider that slightly paranoid and hysterical, but love it for it's entertainment factor.

Anyway, I'm hardly going ballistic. I'm having a thoroughly good time here and haven't reverted to any name calling or worrying about whether you like me personally. In fact, all I've done in this argument (or whatever you want to call it cos I lost the point of this ages ago) - is try to explain to you why not to take offence at others comments, and then proceeded to make fun of you for taking things so personally. Which you, er... didn't exactly handle too well.

Now that it's spiralled into this, the new thread name is entirely appropriate. Thanks mods!


Anyway IPJ, I'm sorry you take things so personally. As I said in one of my first posts to you about this whole 'I'm so offended/outraged!!' stance you pull - chilllll lady.

I genuinely hope you are having a good weekend, and no don't worry I don't hate you dear. Try not to get too worked up hey. (And don't hurt me.)

<Steve Irwin Voice (Crocodile Hunter)>
oooooo, I smell a californian, and she's maaaaaddd.
Let's just reach into her nest and see if we can't get her to come out and we can have a looksy. *reaches into nest* Oh krieky, she's really mad. Look at the teeth! I think she is going to bite soon! Time to let her go back into her den.
</Steve Irwin Voice>

GO OREGON except for the sections w/ the hippies

if you don't know Steve Irwin...
http://www.crocodilehunter.com/

Oh! It's not that bad IPJ. I don't believe such a thing as The Devil exists.

Marshbot, looking at someone's posts to see why they spit the dummy about another person rightfully taking offense at a rude comment such as warner's is hardly freaky. Yes, I took offense at his comment, and yes, I take offense at your horrendous rudeness and idiocy. So fucking what? Pathetic you say? Whatever. It's not like it affects my life in some detrimental way. I've obviously affected you, despite what you say, because you keep coming back for more. You think otherwise? Then walk away from the thread. I bet you can't do it.

As much as you like to keep trying to turn anything I've said into something weird, it won't make it so. There was no reason to attack me for being offended at warner's post. His post was offensive, and you had no right to butt into it from the start. warner is a big boy and can take care of himself. Besides, telling someone "don't be a dick" is fucking harmless and perfectly reasonable even if his original comment was indeed meant to be sarcastic. Funny, you were so quick to assume that his was sarcastic but then immediately assumed that mine wasn't.

You say you don't dislike me, but that's a load of shit. Otherwise, you wouldn't have jumped at the opportunity to attack me for no reason. This has obviously been building up for awhile. Anyway, I'm not going to pretend for the sake of others reading the thread. I'm quite happy to tell you I think you're an idiot. Oh, and before you start throwing around your usual allegations, one does not need to be "worked up" to think or say such a thing.

Go take a critical thinking course or something, and maybe you can learn to determine what rational discourse is. Disagreeing with someone and presenting an argument for why they are wrong is hardly bullying. And I never once said that Timmeh is anti-American. I said he America-bashes, and that's what he does. Calling it a piss take every time he gets called on for it does not change what it is.

I wouldn't put Sin in the same category, though. He's a conspiracy theorist.

Edit: And what's with all the hysteria comments? I guess you have just one level of offense, and it's hysterical? Sounds like you're the one that needs a shrink.

Fame... at last

fucking lord

ipj, that burst your bubble comment i made was not in the slightest bit rude from a kiwi perspective, you need to learn that not everyone speaks the same version of english, there are alot of different slangs and colloquialisms. american english, fuck man, that can sometimes hardly be referred to as anything english.

so now to warn you that i will offend you, read on if you dare.

you need to shut the fuck up lady and learn to have a little respect. you come charging in with your holier than thou attitude, spouting off names and offensive comments and then when someone comes to another persons defense you twist your sordid mind around to personally take their comments as attacks on you. you are not that important. this is Toytown munich not Toytown interplanetjanet and may the lord have fucking mercy on anyone who could dare to offend IPJ or disagree with her in any way.

yes marshbot came to my defense but that is nothing to do with any vendetta against you as she has fucking well told you time and time again. you need to listen lady. she was simply trying to clear up a misunderstanding about a terminology i used which any rough arsed person would not take offense to. it also has nothing to do with the fact that once we meet we will probably start sleeping together. i mean marshbot there, not you ipj, i'd have a hard time getting through that bear trap that tightly encases your vagina.

get over yourself, burst your own bubble and get back into reality, not everyone hates you but you sure as hell aren't doing anything to make friends.

Topic closed by admin. See article 1.10

Damn! The editors have cut off the interesting part of this thread!

xargy

Yeah, it sounds really stupid now without the other three pages.

But not as stupid as it sounded when it was all intact.

You can say that again.

I am probably one of the very few who read the last 3-4 posts on Junk thread before EB removed them and the thread within 5 minutes. Those were the best.

I missed them, and it does sadden me deeply. That was humming along nicely. Go IPJ & Marshbot!!

No roots, the best was the really long PM's I got all the next day explaining how wrong I was and then reducing to insults. They were the best!!

I can forward them to anyone who is interested. A warning, they are very long and boring though. And not suitable for public display.

Yes please. Heck if you got PMs saying you were wrong, hate to think what ipj got Or do people save it up for when they bump into her in the toilets at the pub hahaha.

Yes - send them my way too. Hell I could use something to get me off to sleep at night.

Oh come on kids, let's grow up a bit here. It was fun while it lasted, but move on.

i actually copied my last reply and saved it to my pms i was so proud of it. but then editor bob deleted it.

well children, got the stammtisch thread noticed so anyone else coming or is it just me? remember those cans of tui. no comments from miss marshbot please