Shall I divorce or shall I re-educate myself - Germany

My husband is English, I am from South America. We had been together over 9 years now. This is a list of grievances, well the ones I can remember now. Many of you will not understand what it is all this fuss about. He started to be friendly in bed always after 12pm (this disrupted my sleeping habits till this day). I was so excited to repair the flat we bought the second year, I used to wake up earlier to do some work before go to work outside the house (This was taken for lack of affection, I should stay in bed). I learn in my family to share house work, instead my husband mother´s made all the house work in the night whilst everybody was asleep. I complained to him about all this things.
I Continued to support the house hold the year he was unemployed but still I couldn’t buy the items I liked. He made sure we always arrive late to conferences, stations, meetings and the sort, this make me very upset. It was painful to walk the whole day in my 7 month of pregnancy, I was tired and started to cry. (He knew I just been lazy and my placenta previa was only a excuse)
I must be able to hold a small baby in my arms whilst holding a cup of tea and opening the car door, (perhaps I just was lazy to be capable). At the hospital the first day after birth he didn’t visit me straight away, he must the hairdresser visit, helping me with the just born was second (he was my only family and friend there). Never help with the baby the first months, years?. How you women manage so graceful with this sort of things?... He never will read a story to our daughter and put her to bed unless I was present too. When I ask him to talk to her he used to said: “Hello Baby”, I supposed he just was lost for words. I asked him to play with her (whilst I do de house shores) he used to put her in front of the telly and scratch his balls. I really envy my friends when I observe their husbands playing with their children. Maybe I am just too demanding. I never use to be so demanding and nagging at the start, he said. I made food that he supposed to like but he despised it sometimes and make his own, my little daughter was in the middle wanting to eat as him and he just give her tiny bits, so he spoil her dinner and gave noting substantial to eat to her (am I being fussy here as most man probably are the same). I was never a good house keeper; I was always too busy with my daughter and my crafts. We become angry all the time and I decided was better to stop the marriage mainly because the idea for a man to my daughter was an indifferent one that pays little or no attention to her.
My husband ask me to perform one of my many skills I make with my hands, I asked also to have some why not?, I wanted some touch, some hug, something. He got annoyed for my impertinence and lack of duty. He dared me into getting somebody who actually loved me, “who is going to love you? Jaja”. Actually that was right, with 40 without job for 4 years, with a daughter, with so many nights without sleep… the creases… the overweight, the age…
Next week I got to my only party without him. I meet found a man (there were 2 in this party) who touch my arm accidentally whilst dancing, I fell in love. Problem was he was in love with himself (and this is a long story) but for me was the more exciting thing in my entire life. I told my husband and he didn´t take it till 2 months later, he become a good father and better at home. I had gain a father but lost a husband. He has a German girlfriend now and look happy together, no sure it is because they are showing the nice face o because they really meet each other expectations, whatever I am happy for them, pity for me though.
Now tell me…why people think I am the bitch here… shall I reeducate myself to know my limits or shall I divorce and get a life?

Since you are already divorcing him, why ask again?
Anyway, ditch the jerk.

He's gone.
If you were that unhappy, why would you want him back? Do you like being miserable?

Executive summary for those who won't read the initial post:
Two people who should never have been together due to wildly differing expectations got together and had a child.
They have now split up.
Wife is now having second thoughts now that ex has new woman.

Thanks for the summary Katrina. I made it to the end of the second paragraph and gave up. Sounds like the post should have just gone in the Vent.

In all things ensure the child's burden is minimized. I will refrain from further comment.

Yep, divorce the asshole.

Okay, so you are 40 years old, a bit overweight, wrinkly and tired........................I´m not surprised!

Divorce the idiot, and then work on making a life for yourself that you and your child can enjoy.

If you have already worked out your childcare situation, you should be able to find some kind of job - maybe not one with very hight status, but it would be good for you to earn your own money, and know that you can do what you want with it!

Make time in your life to do things that you like, and that make you feel good, and with a bit of luck Mr Right will come along.

Also take up a hobby. Seriously like running , cycling, or exercise of some sort. A way to get your mind off things, release some tension, at the same times make you feel better about yourself.

I would recommend my hobby, drinking beer, but that may not be good for you at this time.

Robinson's right. What choice have you got? The marriage is finished. You didn't pick the greatest relationship (and it might help to remember that, you picked him, nobody forced him on you).

Now it's fallen apart. Lots of us been there (married, childed, both, neither). Tough but life goes on. The thing not to do is stay marooned. Try to look outwards a bit. There will come a point when all the stuff that yopu worry about now won't matter any more.

Also the guy you "fell in love with" because he touched your arm. He just met a need at that point, of course. It was a sign. Keep it in perspective.

Finally, people always judge you. I get judged as an unmarried women who's never reproduced. So stop waiting for people not to - it won't happen. Tip - avoid the drama, don't let people turn your messy divorce into some sort of stage show.

Thanks sincerely for your comments some make laugh for the irony. The tale is too long and it will take a long piece of paper to told and who will be interested anyway. No I don't want to continue to be married, I am a terrible writer and I wanted to be ironic but the message got somehow erratic, sorry. I just wanted to know other people opinion since some close relations think I just was to picky. Actually as the time pass and I realised what was love I discover with surprise that any of this grievances was really a serious problem, the real problem was the absence of love.
Dont worry to make nasty or nice coments, I dont really care, I had had in this time several nearly death experiences, lost 10 kilos and realised the only friends I really can count with are my exs. I know it is pathetic but live surprises us.

Nice to see you again Juanamaria!
It sounds like you have ahd a shit time with your husband, but things will improve!
What you really need to do now is to concentrate on finding out what is good for you and your child, and work towards it.
Maybe you cannot have a perfect situation overnight, but if you have a goal it is easier to work towards it than just to drift around and hope for the best.
Don´t take too much notice of other people´s opinions - mostly they are wrong!
Sort out for yourself what you want and what you need in your life, and go for it girl!!

Good Luck!

Oh, and what I meant to say before - the only type of re-education you should be thinking about is in terms of occupation! (maybe!)