How to ask out a (German) colleague?

There's a network administrator here that I find very cute. He looks a bit like Judge Reinhold.

He's very friendly, and we're always smiling shyly at each other, but I've no idea how to take it any further. I'd like to invite him to go do some sports with me or something similarly innocuous, but I can't get up the nerve.

Have general conversation, mention the sport in question, see if says he hates it or not, if he does like said sport then say well I play it, would you like to join me? This is suitably direct. The local custom is not to muck about too much.
Alternatively: get him ratarsed at next office party and molest him by the coffee machine - also a direct method

You could ask him if he's seen some film or another.

"No? Neither have I and I was thinking of going tomorrow night. Wanna go with?"

Don't expect him to be picking up your tab though.

woof.

@Katrina - that all sounds good, except he's only contracted in occasionally to help out our permanent NetAdmin and works on another floor. He doesn't come to company parties, and there are only so many times I can pretend to get my finger stuck in my mouse for an excuse to talk to him at all!!

Show him this thread now! Good luck!

(Its spring!)

email him
say "hi, I like your hair/arse/eyes/way with a mouse button/anything really but not too specific, would you like to meet me for a drink sometime? K"
Do not put his name on it.
If it is a yes reply, be happy.
If it is a no reply, say oh shit I meant to send that to someone else! Silly me!
PS awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

i would avoid talking about sticking fingers in places if i were you.
find out what sports he likes. a way to a mans heart is allways conected with sports. ask him to change your desktop background to a picture of some sports star as a conversation opener...

Hit the permanent NetAdmin on the head with a large blunt object. Stash him behind the servers for a day or two.

Gives you time to ask the target if he is from munich, if he knows anything about sport X, and whether he would be interested in meeting you to engage in said sport.

If he's a guy and he's interested in you then he'll either agree or suggest an alternative venue.

Don't forget to get the permanent guy out from behind the servers later.

Good luck !

Like Beverly Hills cop or something...

Judge Reinhold, eh?

Yes, only cuter, with curly hair!

Buy him flowers... thats so classy when you get em from a chic

Get completely trashed so you are not nervous at the next company subsidized piss up and make your intentions clear in a very unsubtle way. Germans are not given to sublety so he will appreciate your candour.

This way if its not to be you have saved the price of drinks in a normal restaurant and all that time wasting doing one of those god awful getting-to-know-you activities people do as potential couples.

You're kidding, right?

I hate getting flowers. I have no idea what to do with them. I just stand there and go, "um, uhh... erm... uh... thanks?"

And no, I don't widdle on them.

woof.

Network Admin ?

Have you considered asking about firewalls and round trip delay?

Don't forget though. However you ask, make sure you do it in writing, in triplicate, with the signatures of 4 witnesses and finally stamped by the German Authority of Non-Nationals Asking German Nationals Out (or GANNAGNO for short)...

Only then are you allowed to go out with him

GANNAGNO being a sub-division of GAGGIN (German Authority General for Getting Interesting Nookie).

Nope , getting flowers from a chic is something that floors my ass everytime. Doesnt matter if you don't know what to do with them - just cool that she's progressive enough to make with the dahlias cos she thinks that would brighten your day. And it does .

Germans don't do anything for short... more like get the stamp from the (sorry direct Google xlation)

Deutscheberechtigungdernichtangehörigendieherausdeutscheangehörigefragenbüro

Good luck Kat!

Ask him where he goes for lunchtime and join him.

Or just go caveman style. Take a big club and wack him over the head and drag him back to yours as in the good old days when dinosaurs ruled the earth

a bottle of good vodka - the modern womans cavemans club

P

or just cut the crap...

tell him straight off you find his face /nose/body shape realy attractive. DO NOT SAY YOU FIND HIM ATTRAKTIVE (VERY IMPORTANT). its a very non-comital way of starting an advancement. if you see him squeel you can back out with various excuses or follow on converstaional points (such as ...but you realy should by a new suit/get a new haircut etc etc). if he doesnt squeel you can advance the conversation by appologiseing if it seemed forward, fluster, fluster. if he's interested he'll do his upmost to reassure you that he feels your comment is ok. keep back tracking. do not then gush out an invite to drink/eat/ and or shag. tell him you hope he doesnt feel your a stalker and that in america you could be sued for what you just said. laugh and tell him you have the telephone number of a good lawyer. haa haa hee. can i get you a coffee.

i used this approach once (whilst single when sex lasted only 7 minutes) with a realy great girl. i used the nape of the neck as the body part. swapped telephone numbers etc etc etc. wonder what happened to her?

Just tell him:
I have a network set up at home you know

I am sure he can't resist that.

Spoken like a pro!! Gideon the mad shagger eh?...only lasts longer now cos you cant do it as fast!!

And Kat, IMHO just ask him. The fact that the two of you have shared a few smiles should let you know he has at least the slightest of interests in you, if not a big one. Maybe he's even more shy than you are and is having the same dilema? Maybe he's unsure what you are thinking as well. Sometimes the 'signals' are hard to read for us guys you know...
I wouldn't mind if a girl asked me out it's not exactly abnormal in this day and age is it?

I think you've got to do something about it otherwise you will never know.

I'd also say as he's an IT guy ask him a some computer questions, something he's confident to speak about then he wont be nervous and not know what to say. How about asking for some advice about buying a new home computer, have him help you look through some websites at lunchtime for 10 mins then grab a bite to eat? Breaks the ice with an easy topic and lets you do a bit of pre meditated flirting.

Buy'em a new Harddrive or Pocket PC.. That'll get his attention

i have stories that would make casanova blush. and it lasts longer now because i dont need to do it as fast...

take a German approach

Hallo Herr XXXX.
I find you wery attractive.
you vill bring me out for dinner, and afterwards if I am pleased, ve vill make efficient German love. Again if I am pleased, ve may do it again sometimes.

if I ever heard someone spew this shit to me (actually, now that I think about, yes, I have heard this type of stuff before), I would immediatly RUN LIKE HELL!!! This is what a psycho-stalker / co-dependent nut-case would say.

Kat, just ask him to meet for a coffe or maybe in a beer garden sometime.

If you have a spare room you could offer to rent it out to him

Yeah, you know how those landlady/tenent affairs go.

Kat, stop asking the whole world and just ask... him.

You know it makes sense

Change your background picture to one of him and ask him round to your desk to help you separate your finger from your mouse.

ahhh so you've met me...

Kat, I told you its IMHO not recommended to mixa da bidness with pleasure. Only mob bosses can really do that well and even then someone always gets whacked. Though it sounds as if he's removed enough from you that it wouldnt be too bad if it went south. Jeeze what if you do go out only to find he likes to wear womens drawers and whisper sweet, sweet programming codes during sex. ie "C colon space forward slash, forward slash, return baby yeah whose your daddy" type stuff. In the former case, send him to Johnny English' shop to get kitted out, and in the second I guess maybe you should contact the patent office to make sure his moaning is legit.

Having said that though, life is short and so are we so if you really want to "bring him to something innocous" tell him your volunteering your time to help english speakers learn german and were a few natives short of a tribe. I'm sure other peeps can BYOG / bring your own German/ to make it seem legit. That way the rest of us can check this guy out already. But really, dont pay attention to that last bit...its all about you, not me and my need for better German skills and reality tv. Honest. Kinda.

interesting comment about the BYOG, jml...

I have been clicking randonly on this thread and need to know...has she asked him yet?

As the ex-Mr shy until the beer goggles used to blur my vision and enhance my talking ability, I can only sympathise.

"Drink was my saviour
It made me much braver
But I couldn't hold it to well.
I slipped on the coach and ruined my approach when I fell"

(Christy Moore/Moving Hearts)

Get on with it!

Aside from the fact that work-place dating is a minefield anyway, the other problem is that this is Bavaria, where I really should have attended Kindergarten and up with him to make any sort of advance appropriate.
I have managed to socialize with several colleagues here (mainly as friends), but only after working with them closely for at least a year. That adds up to approx. 220 x 8 =1760 hrs of getting to know them first. After three years (5280 hrs) in the same company, I now have 3 colleagues whom I can call if my car breaks down or I need help putting up a shelf, and one who says he's always available to take care of any other needs I might have. So the problem remains that I only see the Judge Reinhold look-alike fleetingly once a month or so. At this rate, I will need at least a decade to be able to ask him to lunch. So you see it's hopeless, but thanks for the tips anyway.

Yeah its too late now, but for the future I recommend the "3 second rule". You only have 3 seconds to go up to someone and start talking before you will talk yourself out of it.

This especially applies when its courage you lack, because those lacking courage will ALWAYS find a reason NOT to talk to someone, if given more than 3 seconds to think about it.

How about the schoolkid approach? Any of your colleagues that you could "mention" it to that you fancy him...in the clear intention that this minor piece of gossip will spread like wildfire? Once he hears he can choose to make a move on you or not with no loss of face all around.

Even if he is shy you will KNOW next time if he got the message. Added advantage is that is has been proven that when you know someone thinks you are sexy...they become instantly more attractive. (all in the genes)

Three fastest means of communication. Telephone, Television and Tell-a-woman.

Kat, far be it for me to give relationship advice to anyone (you can hear the bullshit building up already) but if you were born in the 60's and you work in IT then shame is for other people.

Engage him in 5 seconds of mindless banter, ask him to go for a coffee, if he refuses get plastic surgery and move off-planet.

Oh Mighty GANNAGNO. How many will you approve in a year? What is the quota like? German colleague said to me: NO NO NO. German girls only for German guys!

Um, what does that mean?
As for the rest of it, bull. You have one zenophobic colleague. It really doesn't reflect the rest. (IMHE)

It's short for something. Crawlie/Katrina: you tell her.
Was ist IMHE?

First thing, do a little research!
Is he married/in a realtionship, is he gay or a player...
try to bump into him and just hey, good to see you, my computer is doing funny stuff, can you have a look? (get a friend to send a huuuuge file which crashes ur whole system), then get him in a conversation. try to do it late morning so you can say. "hey, good job, I'm starving, wanna join me for lunch or can i get u something from the supermarket?" Germans in general are very direct and German men do not understand subtle hints at all (is there any nation where men understand subtle hints?!?). Also German men are not as frightened of going out with a girl as some others would be. For Germans it is completely normal to just go for a drink, lunch etc without any intentions.
Give a problem to solve, so he can be your hero. Guys like that

Yeah but make it a simple problem please.

If that's the case, the classic, ever reliable "Hi, you're hot. Fancy a shag?" line would do.
Or have I misunderstood sumthing?

so the next problem will be, once you've asked him out for a drink/lunch, how do you break it to him that it is more than just a 'as friends' drink/lunch?

Make sure lunch includes drinking from a straw, eating a banana and then a chocolate flake.

once you get him alone you can ask him a lot of stuff, with the new information you can plan the next plot Eg sport, drinks, beergarden session, after Work Party, slowly but surely you will find out whether he is intrested or not.

@JE