Why does German mayonnaise suck?

Me too! I smuggle it in from the states. You can get Helmanns at Wal Mart or Karstadt, though.. same thing.

German mayo really does suck. And what's with all these condiments in toothpaste tubes? Disgusting.

I don't know, it is kind of funny that people who largely come from countries (UK, US) that aren't really famous for their food and quality of food keeps thrashing German mayonnaise and German supermarkets.

To me that is just superfunny...

German mayo sucks because all mayo sucks. In my opinion.

And now, what does that tell you about German supermarkets?

Seriously guys, try the mayo from Aldi- it is actual Mayonnaise- tastes great on a sandwich, mixed with tuna (the best tuna salad btw is white tuna, mayo, and Spike seasoning), chicken salads, whatever.

Actually I would vote for the next thread to be "Why do all bottled German salad dressings suck?" as in french, 1000 island, joghurt *barf*

And now, what does that tell you about German supermarkets?

ok I get it, that even people not used to quality food will find them appalling...

I don't agree where I live in ffm I have no problem with the supermarket i frequent but I guess that is because I'm not such a demanding and refined customer as the mayo-people...

watch what you say about the mayo people.
they do good things for cancer.
what are you, anti-cancer?
shame

I'm Right up there with you kitty-kat - being from Utah, give me some decent FRY SAUCE and Ranch dressing for almost anything.. (neither of which exist in Germany!)

~Rose

Speaking of which, is decent blue cheese dressing available anywhere?

Yes, I saw it at Kaufhof (US product) recently... Should be at Karstadt as well...

And Sweden is a stronghold of culinary excellence. Taking dried fish and reindeer to a whole new level...

You horrible little foreign European Unionist! Stop complaining about the food in your adopted new country. Britain isn't that far away ... There are usually British or Asian shops somewhere, where you can get whatever you want from Branston Pickle to Tetley Tea Bags. Stop whining! ;-))))))
When I go to England I'm not looking for a pub where I can get "Bratkartoffeln" ... me wants chips!

S'funny, I've had "American" mayonnaise and thought it was truly disgusting. Guess different people just like different things. Who'd have thunk it, eh?

How sad is my life that I just read 4 pages of posts about mayo? *sigh* Somebody get me a life, please!

Duke's Mayo, talked about a page up by someone, is only available in the Southeastern US. Ingredients "Soybean oil, eggs, water, vinegar, salt, oleoresin paprika, natural flavors, calcium disodium EDTA added to protect flavor." Almost the same as Hellman's but instead of sugar, they use paprika to give it the sweet flavour. It's not available outside of that part of the US so if you are there I highly recommend you try it. Really good stuff!

As for my opinion on German mayonnaise, I never had a chance to try it. I did eat a lot of Nestle mayo in the tube with pommes frites in Switzerland though, and it was definitely better for that. Miracle Whip/Miracel Whip though - that's vile stuff. And Heinz Salad Cream - I enjoy it on a jacket potato and a couple of other things, but not really on sandwiches.

Buy the French ones!!! not cheap but excellent! Maille for ex...

It's not difficult to make homemade mayonnaise so stop whining and make your own if you don't like the products on the market. Then you can put what ever you want in it. Here's a recipe for homemade mayonnaise. Btw, you can also use it as a masque for your hair .

http://homecooking.about.com/od/saladrecipes/r/blcon64.htm

Two words: Hamburger Sauce. WTF?

Or any tropical fruit whatsoever.

Except when it is available here. I posted it because I have actually seen it here. Growing up I only ever had it in North Carolina when we went to the beach as it wasn't available in Tennessee. It was kind of weird seeing it on sale here and knowing that it had only recently made its way to the supermarket shelves in Tennessee.
Mayo is actually easy enough to make yourself and can be kept safely in the fridge for about 10 days to two weeks. I would highly recommend that you wash the eggs (and your hands) thoroughly before breaking them open as that is where the salmonella contamination comes from.

2-3 egg yolks whipped till they are light in color
add the juice of 1/2 lemon and whip some more (use the whole lemon if you are like me and like your mayo really tangy)
add a 1/4 tsp more or less of salt and a pinch or two or three of white pepper and whip some more (you can also add spicy paprika or cayenne for a bit of zest)
slowly add in one cup oil (tasteless to full on olive or sunflower or whatever you like) while whipping (this is the only critical step and you do have to add the oil slowly, very slowly!)
you can now add in some or all of the egg whites for a whiter color and fluffier consistency

Refrigerate and use not sparingly

Interesting. I probably will not be making my own mayo - but out of interest: How long does it hold? 3 days, 3 months, forever?

We dont eat much mayo but if I have to buy it I buy the generic brand. I find it tastes the best.

I love german potatoe salat with lots of mayo.

oh. skipped over that bit.

You can cut or double the recipe as needed and the only reason that the best before date is so short a time is that most people are not actually that clean in their food preparation techniques. There is another thread around here that I posted on about the dangers of "leftovers" and other food stuff.

ATTENTION MAYO FANS:

The Hauptbahnhof Karstadt has small squeezy-bottles of Hellman's! They're absurdly expensive but it's real mayo! They also stock Campbell's tomato and cream of mushroom soup (although the latter is often sold out) -- again, frightfully expensive, but there's no other way to make a proper tuna noodle casserole ("tuna noodle hot dish" for you Minnesotans).

woof.

I bought one of those exact same bottles not long ago at Real or OEZ Edeka and it was expensive! Wherever it was, it was stuck in the American overpriced section and not with the salad dressings hiding behind a Mayo label.

If anybody spots Duke’s Mayonnaise, then PM me ASAP! When I spotted it I didn't buy any cause at that time you could still buy Kraft Real Mayo.

Tomorrow when I'm shopping I'll look it up on the EDEKA super-duper-whooper-market that's become my temple of shoppingness. I recall they have an Ami section, but all I can remember is maple syrup (?) and various fudge-like squeezies.

I must say though, I'm surprised at you BD. Making your own mayo is 5 minutes of work.

I like Japanese mayonnaise (the ones that come in those bottles with the little kid on it or whatever the hell that thing is) It's not too light and not too heavy/greasy...it goes with anything.

Every store here sells Hellmann's mayonnaise but I am not sure if it is the same exact thing (it does look the same exact way) because it is not imported. Just a note for anyone who might happen to travel to Spain.

Yup, the big Implerstrasse EDEKA sells Hellman's mayo for the prime price of 3 yoohoos and 79 cents for a 295ml bottle. Only about 4 times as expensive as in the U-sofa.

right on

Anyone got an update of Hellmans Mayonnaise sightings for me? We have Edeka's around here but they don't seem to stock although I may speak to the manager etc.

Ta.

p.s. If anyone tries to tell me that kraut stuff is the same or how they can make their own in 23 seconds I am liable to have a quick flounce. So button it now.

Mayonnaise from Lidl in the squeezy bottle is the right stuff everyone!

JE, our Rewe (Neubiberg) sells it. At a ridiculous price, of course.

A life without mayonnaise, is a life not worth living.

a dish without mayo is like a fish without a bicycle...

the bakery chain "Le CroBag" uses this really rank Remoulade for their sandwich rolls. I often get on their nerves and ask them to make me one fresh without Remoulade but with mayo instead.

That is Sandwich spread NOT mayo!

Tis to the left of the sandwich spread in a squeezy bottle.

oops so it is... my mistake!

german mayo sucks coz we are simply used to a different standard of mayo. pay extra and buy hellmans or whatever your fav is or get used to what they got here!

Thanks Kommentarlos, left to the sandwich spread is mayo, but when I went there today they were out of mayo.

Just been to 2 x Edeka and a big Rewe in Königsbrunn. No sign of the mysterious Hellmans. Actually Rewe felt kinda like a real supermarket, almost. That said did not actually have a deli counter - all the meats and cheese etc were pre-packaged. Fish was of course also rare as rocking horse shit.

Kill yourself.

Anyway, JE, just saw Hellmans mayo at Munchener Freiheit in the Karstadt food bit. 4 or 5 yoyos for a squeezy bottle. Also had a "posh" mustard flavoured mayo. Wooooo!

Has anyone tried Real for mayo? They seem to have a decent selection, by local standards at least, as far as other stuff is concerned.

I don't know if anyone has mentioned this, but I couldn't be bothered to trawl through the whole shit boring thread, you can buy Hellmanns mayo in the U.K in glass jars, and without green fungus growing on top. The Bio stuff that comes in small jars at Kaisers is pretty good as well.