Marrying a Muslim - Germany

HI EVERYONE,

In my home country, if you are going through a Muslim Marriage, you can register with the ROMM (Registry of Muslim Marriage). I understand, over here in Germany, you will have to go through a civil marriage first and it is up to the newly weds to hold their religious wedding after that.

My fiance - German / Free Thinker. Myself - Non-EU / Muslim. We are planning to get married in Germany.

Has anyone here had any experiences in this situation? Like changing his name and converting into Islam and who(WALI)I can contact to marry us and be recognized by the Islam Law. And what the complications are / faced. Any input will be appreciated. Thank you...!

Marriage in Germany is a legal proceding independent of religion. NO ONE in Germany can get legally married in any sort of ceremony without already having gotten married here at the Standesamt through the standard process which is explained in a dozen different threads here. Look on your screen. Up there at the upper right corner. See that "Search" and a box? Enter "marriage Germany" and hit return.

Change of name is a lot more complicated. Go see a lawyer.

woof.

FOR SURE i have used the search button on the right corner of my screen. And, FOR SURE we are going the register and our marriage with the standesamt. After that we would like to go through a Muslim Marriage. And I wanted to hear from others how they got married religiously. So if you ever went through this process of religious wedding I would like to hear from you.....

NoniJuize, why couldn't your fiance and his family/community tell you what you need to know?

There are Muslims on Toytown, but they are a distinct minority.

Why don't you ask the Iman at your local Mosque? If your BF has to convert, seems to me you will have to talk to him anyway.

Cinza,

My fiance is clueless coz hes the one whos going to have to convert. His family? Erm, lets just say they might be against it. We are registering our marriage in Germany, but we live in Switzerland. And right now, I am back in my home country. Im starting to feel this is too complicated. I already had an idea to return back to my home country for the customary / religious wedding next year. But wanted to hear from others how they did it in Germany.

Your fiance has to start assuming his role in the relationship and go to the Mosque, get converted and gather all the needed information.

Well, surely he's at least going to have to do the footwork on getting his name changed, and he can find out about registering the marriage in Germany. Depending on where he lives in Germany, if he has to do some kind of course or training or whatever to convert, it should be fairly easy to find a local Imam, even if it means asking around at the Doener stand (no, I'm not kidding.)

I know nothing at all about what would be acceptable as far as Islam goes, but since marriage in Germany is legally purely civil in nature, and his family might not be enthusiastic about the marriage, you might want to do the religious ceremony in your home country or in Switzerland.

I suppose the word "legally" is key but if you mean you MUST marry at the Standesamt BEFORE doing any sort of religious (or other) ceremony, you are wrong. The law has changed allowing people to have just a religious ceremony, if they want. However, the Standesamt is the only legal marriage, so if you chose to just have a religious ceremony here in Germany, you would not be legally married.

I understand that some individuals and families insist on religious conversion and a religious marriage. But I don't get the name change thing. Why is this necessary? Where are you from NoniJuize? Is your boyfriend really ok with the name change?

You might re-think your plans because you can end up in hell with all the bureaucracy. I suggest, your fiance converts here, then you fly to Singapore and get married over there, bring the certificate, translate it to German and register it here. You fiance might take the new name but only under the religion point of view and keep his original legal name. That would be much easier than what you want because:

- Changing name is a hell
- Under German law, you do not have a last name, you just have a single name that is not splittable
- Getting married in Germany is slow, complicated and boring, you will have a nicer wedding back home

And definitely make your fiance more active, after all he is the man.

He has no problems with changing his name or adding a new name. And by the way his name is Christian. Not an appropriate name for a Muslim right?

I will fly into Switzerland in the next couple of days and we will both visit the Standesamt in Germany where we are registering our marriage. We've decided to hold the customary (religion) marriage will most probably be held next year in my home country.

I know its complicated and slow getting married in Germany, its also the same in Switzerland. We will see how it goes and try to make it work.
Just wanna thank all of you for your helpful (some very unhelpful too) comments and advises..... :>

It's not easy here in Germany but it's possible to change your name. You write that he has no problems changing it but will you? What about when he takes his second wife? Will he have to change his name again or are you just getting him to go with some generic "Muslim" name which includes "Muhammed", "Ali" &/or "Khan"? If he starts hanging out with 6-year-old girls will you call the police or tell him that, just like the prophet, he must marry that girl when she turns 9?

I'm actually being very serious here. You want a Westerner to convert to your religion and I expect neither of you have considered this. Remember that Muhammed had 16 wives. Being the first doesn't necessarily mean you're going to remain "number 1".

woof.

BadDoggie,

You are one funny guy....
For your sake, I will take into consideration your questions/ advise / comments / remarks before getting him to convert or changing his name... OK?

NoniJuize, is there a potential religious problem if you go through the civil ceremony but don't have the religious one till next year? Would you be a technical adulterer without the religious blessing on your marriage?

In your position, I'd fly to Singapore and do everything there. Much simpler than trying to wrestle the German system. Oh, and you should probably introduce your fiance to your imam here and let him take care of converting himself.