What TT readers do for a living

Just a little ignorant laser joke. I am sure you are actually doing good only, with your lasers!

I want to work for slim and DW on the cowboy monkey ranch. I want to be a cowboy, you can be my cowgirl...yippee kaya motherfcuker, heres your runway holly and all that.

Otherwise I'd like to start a not for profit pen pal to wedding bells business. My thoughts would be to get decent peeps with little to no future prospects out of 3rd world countries and hooked up with decent peeps, expats perhaps, tired of the dating game in lonely, foreign places. Anyhoo, I figure once the whole world is muttified it'll be much easier for me to take over the world.

And no, Im not kidding...at least about getting the world muttified...and btw: keep in mind that TT likely has some Mail Order Brides lurking around so no disrespect aiight. Peace out.

Weeeeeellll...

...I keep getting those invitations to go to conferences all over the world for military laser technology (there's one coming up in Boston), but I keep declining. Never been to one so far. Had a few offers up until a couple of years ago from defence companies for silly money, but I think I'd rather be poor and not contributing to killing anybody if it's all the same to them.

Everytime I read about the Star Wars project in the technical magazines I have a good laugh, although the 747 mounted Oxygen-Iodine laser might actually do some damage at closer ranges. I am 99.99% convinced that Star Wars is all about filtering tax payers money into the pockets of the miltary corporatists... US$1,200,000,000,000 budgeted to be spent by 2015 (I just ran out of zero's on my puter). They haven't got a hope in hell of knocking down a new SS-27 ICBM, and by the time they catch up, the Russians will be further ahead (strange, but true). The US led inspection team has ALWAYS told the Pentagon, but for some reason the Pentagon don't want to hear it. I know it's not laser related, but I still love George "Papa-Doc" Bush's speech in 1991 to the Patriot Missile assembly workers after the Gulf War: "We fired 50 Patriots and had 49 intercepts." 2 years later the DoD confirm that the word "Intercept" means that the missile came within one kilometre of it's target. It's a bit like the attempt to shoot down an old satellite in 2003. The DoD said that they "Illuminated" the target. "Are you hit Mac?" "No, but I think I've been illuminated!!!".

Anyway, no, although the lasers I deal with can cut a car in half in 30 seconds (focussed, targeted and controlled correctly), I stick to food and medical packaging, and automotive and electronics production.

Really? Lasers can do this? But then they would have to be mucking big and powered by somerthing huge yes? I mean we are still along way away from hand held laser rifles are we not?

The hand held laser rifle isn't the problem. It's the bloody fridge sized chiller required to cool it that is the problem. Optics always have some absorption. If you don't cool them with laser energy powerful enough to be useful (in military terms) they have a horrible habit of going 'POP'. Alternatively you could spread the energy over a larger diameter, but 8 soldiers holding one 200Kg rifle isn't really practical I guess they'll just have to live with 'illuminating' the target.

Visible spectrum lasers for targeting... well they have worked fairly well for years, but you don't need KiloWatts of power for these.

Satellite borne lasers are interesting, mainly because the Earth's atmos is very changeable. If you position your laser over Washington DC, and target Moscow, it is very possible with atmospheric compression and defraction, that you could hit London, Paris or Berlin by mistake.

Do you remember that scene in the James Bond film (the first one with Piers Brosnan), where he cuts open a metal manhole cover with a red beam from his watch? I laughed, and laughed, and laughed. A watch mounted red diode laser might have cut the manhole cover if it was thin chocolate, but it would have taken a few years to get through it.

Hollyweird!

He's Bond! His ice cool calm would have been all the coolant required

I'm a software engineer working mostly on smartcards.

Yep, but Bond's ice cool calm would have got through the manhole cover much quickly than the laser. He could have just imagined it was a babe's panties, and charmed it off.

Used to be a DB2 bod, then an Oracle, then SQL DBA.
Now I get paid tons to occasionally do stats and be office decoration in a civil service post for an evil empire run by lizards. Or something.

those at the largest german software company i contract for like to call us information devlopers. i like information engineer personally. make me hold my head up high & be proud of whta i've become.

p.s. dw is cute when he trains those monkees. 'specially the cowboy hats he wears.

have a small business selling cds imported from england - 60's,70's,80's music.sell quite a lot on e bay (powerseller).make quite a few festivals (example -got a stand on tollwood ) also have a cd repair service . look under www.cd-clinic.com.

havent read the whole thread yet... BUT thought I would put in my two cents anyway
Since I have moved here I have learned that the safe bet when meeting a new expat is that they are one of five things...
1. nanny/aupair
2. IT
3. student
4. lawyer
5. engineer
I fit into category 1

You missed Greenkeeper and golf pro

Nicole, don't forget

6. Arbitrary job, married to a German

Also missed CPA (certified public accounting). Boring yes, but pays the bills.

And translators, language teachers etc, theres a significant handful of those it seems too. (Not me though, although as the office native english speaker I tend to pick up odd translation jobs here and there)

Daydreamer when my managers aren't looking... But otherwise a software test engineer for 3D / 4D post processing software for ultrasound images, at GE Medical.

finance
think there are at least 4 or 5 of us in finance

I am a lawyer who spends my day either:

A) Wishing I was smart enough to build a time machine to get the Sports Betting book Michael J. Fox got in Back to the Future (II or III, don't recall) so I wouldn't have to sit in this damn office all day because I made so much money on wagers

-OR-

B.Taking out my frustration that I cannot obtain said book on poor, cranky, incompetent United States Citizenship and Immigration Service officers who routinely confirm my suspicions that their agency intentionally seeks applicants whose IQ scores rank somewhere in between a piece of wood and the gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe. Damn them.

@ Nicole - don't fit into any of your categories! I'm a Secretary for an international company and a part-time translator.

Quite a few scientists too. Everything from Atrology to X-men!

I am Marcus Blairs butler

Nothing really...

Teacher, also do some translation and writing. I look at this board when I run out of ideas translating or am collecting my emails. Or preparing for classes.

Previous life - fixed jumbo jets
now - teach English

Teach Mysticism and Spiritual Healing.

consultant, automotive industry systems and business process intergration.

I'd rather be used car salesman tho.

Chancellor.

regards,

GS

basically my idea was rubbish! IDIOT!

Apology to all of the hand models, zoo keepers, and opera singers we have here in Toytown. It was my mistake...

(and yes I know we actually do have an opera singer on Toytown)

Comedian and Male Escort

I put up posters. It's spiritually very fulfilling.

Network Security Officer for the one of the largest telecom company's.

Really tired of sitting in front of the computer all day staring at a screen. The only good thing I can make my work schedule to what ever my liking and work from home almost everyday.

Would prefer to move to an island to fish and sell coconuts...

eye-tea

One of the following:
1. Mad doctor practicing strange genetic experiments on a desert island.

OR

2. Developing a fusion reactor using Haddock as the principal source of enery.

OR

3. Studying for a Masters degree in tree hugging.

OR

4. Car seat programme manager.
.
.
.
.Yes number 2 is correct.

@MarkM (or anyone interested)

Buy yourself a copy of "The Sex Lives of Cannibals" also available as an e-book from mobipocket.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detai...=glance&s=books

gigolo

I try not to run the universe but then i do sing to my cat

PES : really???

am one of finance people, at infineon! its great (mostly!) reckon there must be a trillion other infineon TTers out there??

rocket scientist

I call bullshit!! That thing won't fly

He clearly hasn't strapped the rocket onto it yet. Jeez DW, and you call yourself a tree surgeon.

I didn't realise Batman was a TTer.

Heh heh - good one.

He looks like my old maths teacher.

Figure skating choreographer/trainer...

I'm jealous! I don't get to wear wings at my job!

right now I am training to become a referee for snail racing.

I have last year's video highlights in slow-motion if anybody wanna borrow.

well stick to your day job, - i dont think you'll go too far with the comedy!

You Rang!!!

I would say that according to today's posts, rants and idiot wars, as little work as possible.

Pornstar