In love with a man from Munich, how do I win him?

This is so crazy, but I don't care. I'm an American living in San Francisco (29yrs old, engineer, slim petite frame). About two weeks ago I was in Las Vegas for a conference and I met a man there from Munich and we spent one evening together before he departed back to Germany and myself to San Francisco the next day. We had a wonderful time together and I'm completely smitten. He's in his mid forties with big blue eyes, dirty blond hair, and dusky white skin. This is perhaps a common look in Germany, but whatever, he was georgeous to me. I didn't mind that he was probably a bit overweight for his frame (about 5 foot 10/11). I'm golden tan/very petite from South Pacific decent -attractive people say. To me he was beautifully exotic and I loved his style in clothes and views on life. He owns a company in construction or he's a builder; I forget -profession doesn't matter to me. I sent him tea roses (a bunch of 60) a week later to his office in Feldkirchen through Aquarelle. They were successfully delivered but I have not heard from him since. In any case, I don't know what it's like to date a German man, let alone one from Munich. I hear that in general, German men are not very flirtatious and that men in Munich tend too be more metrosexual than the rest of Germany. I want to win him over. Any suggestions? I've already decided to learn German and I plan to travel to Munich in 1 month. I want to give it my all before I finally lay it to rest. Thanks for the help It's not like me to make such strong initiatives (i never do); there are many men here in San Francisco...just not the kind of man I met from Munich.

Wow.

If I were a girl (and I am) and I sent beautiful roses to some man overseas and never heard back from him I would immediately grow concerned and anxious and frantic. Has he contacted you ever since?

give it up sanfran, he is probably happily married and does not want more problems than he got already with your roses. Just to bad we can not always have what we would like.

So, maybe you should elaborate a little more as you are about to face some harsh advice from the site.

From what you wrote you had a one-night-stand (or just a pleasant evening with lots of talk to be fair to you) with some middle aged German bloke, sent him 60 roses and you have not heard anything from him since? No Email? No Phonecall? Nothing? Not even a "Thank You"? And you now plan on learning German and going to see him for a month?

So you are not at all concerned that this guy is not quite on the same level as you and saw the 60 roses as bunny boiling potential or something similar?

Mr. Wonderful is just not that into you, otherwise, you would have been the one with roses delivered. Sorry. You gotta let a guy run after you a bit or otherwise, what is the use of the eons of years of the male instinct for pursuit? You gotta let a guy be a guy.

Off the record, bet a Euro that he is married. They don't say "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" without good reason.

Married. Or justifiably terrified by someone who would send him a fuckton of flowers when a, Hey, it was nice to meet you, email would have done. Move on.

If I met you on a 'business trip' and on return received 60 roses, I think I'd be thinking: WARNING: Bunny Boiler Alert, Bunny Boiler Alert!!!

... Send an em, phone but not roses to a guy...
If you like the 'type' then come here for a visit, but don't expect the magic of a random event to repeat, to repeat, to repeat...

Did he give you his home phone number?

Was it really this man, or was it the magic of the moment of that evening? Or could it be the fantasy in your mind you've created about the possibility of living happily ever after in Europe with him.

I think this man was probably having a fling with you and you were [s]gullible[/s] vulnerable to fall for it.

Cut your loss and move on, you deserve better than this.

Btw, your stating his profession doesn't matter to you, I'm hard pressed to believe it doesn't matter, otherwise you wouldn't have wrote he's a builder. Could it be his wealth that's intriguing you?

TT'ers wasn't there another thread about this same subject about a year ago?

Did anybody else immediately think of fünf when they read this?

Firstly I need to comment on the fact that you mentioned you were slim a couple of times but then also said you were probably 'overweight for his frame'. I really didn't get that - what do you mean?

Anyway, back on point - sorry but I would definitely give this up. I think you did a bad thing sending him the roses. Its very sweet and everything but way over the top. I would have done something similar when I was perhaps 16 but in my years of experience I have learned that this is definitely not the way to go. As somebody else mentioned, its bunny boiler alert to him.

More concerning is the fact that he hasn't contacted you since. Does that not set off any alarm bells and it should make you deflated, not intent on coming over here!

I know its hard - I have been here myself on numerous occassions - but you need to forget about this guy for your own sake.

I really hope that it works out but sadly I think its not going to.

I've been twice in Las Vegas for company conferences but[sup]*[/sup]....

*I was both jet-lagged & very busy....

Buffy, she said HE was a bit overweight for his frame, not her.

I agree with what everyone else has said. If I spent a day with a guy and then he turned around and sent me 60 roses, I'd run screaming. You waaay overdid it. A good first move might have been to wait a few weeks and then send him a short email to gauge his interest. The flowers just make you look like a stalker/bunny boiler.

I agree with you Buffy. The fact that he didn't contact her after those flowers is a very clear indication he's not interested. At the very least any decent man (interested or not) would have contacted her to thank her for the gesture.

I think it's best after the initial meeting to let the man make the next contact, otherwise as a woman you give some of your power away and make yourself look like an aggressive, needy, desperate woman and there's nothing appealing about that, despite how "attractive" you may look.

I'm in awe of how someone can be "so in love" with a man who they barely know after spending one evening, but that's probably a topic for another thread.

I disgree with you there, LR. They spent ONE evening together. I'm guessing not even a one-night stand...but even if:

Sounds like there was no indication from him of any interest. She has made an OTT gesture - and obviously so far has not even been put off by the fact that he has remained silent about it. Had he written to thank her, wouldnt that just have made her more interested? He's probably been totally freaked by the gesture. Silence is probably the way he hopes she will understand best.

Oops! I read that bit over and over again to make sure I understood it correctly but still got it wrong - silly me!

I can't wait to read her responses to this thread. I hope she doesn't get all angry with us and start saying the TTers are negative, awful people!