Parenting frustration thread

I hate to say it, but after looking at the picture of your bump from tuesday night, I'm guessing you have at least 2 more weeks to go.

*runs, ducking, away*

My one year old wakes up every night at 1am screaming and as soon as we put her on our bed, she falls back to sleep.

She sleeps rough by giving me a head butt once or twice at night.I will soon start wearing helmet cos of this. My head is traumatised!

HELP!

My wife is due on Sunday. no sign yet, and I get the feeling we will see our bundle of joy only next week or later, but no idea.

I'm at work, waiting for the call, then I switch off the PC, drive home and get ready to take her to Hospital. I'm then off for 3 weeks.

Aprehensive about what's about to happen and what follows, a bit scared and a bit excited.

Welcome to the club, bobD! You are in for the ride of your life...

@asaba - The one thing I really regret from my son's baby/toddler years is that I let him stay in my bed way too long. He was nearly 3 before I got him out of there. So I suggest you be tough in the early days and keep her in her own bed, even if it means some sleepless nights to accomplish it. Once they get a good toehold, it only gets harder and harder to get 'em out!

Nah, first few weeks are a piece of piss for the dad. All they do is sleep, or want stuff from the mum. Take an ipod or something to the hospital for the delivery though, it is boring as hell. Make sure you give yourself a paper cut on the finger before you go too, so when your missus is screaming in pain, you can say "know how you feel, look at this paper cut, it's well nasty. Really stings". They love the feeling of solidarity.

Those might be the very words that got him into this position.

I recently witnessed a pediatrician at the hospital instruct my friend that all babies MUST sleep in the parents room for the first 3 months. I guess they think that neither parent needs any sleep - especially the one going to work in the mornings. Of course the new mom needs to rest and recover from the whole thing, too.

bobD,

Fear and excitement are closely related emotions with the same physical sensations. I like to tell myself, "That's not fear, that's EXCITEMENT!" Sometimes it actually works.

donr - You're a scream!

Totally agree on both points. Great ride but can be rough early on.

We also tried to not always respond immediately so they don't associate screaming with immediate attention. You will learn the difference between a "I am getting hungry" cry and a "I have my leg stuck in the crib and need help now" cry.

We had a rotation. Change the diaper, give a bottle, give gas meds and burp, repeat. Usually one of those will get them to calm down. Oh yeah, and try a baby swing. Like shaking them, only slowly and more gentle...

It gets better. Don't worry!

Edite: PS, don't keep a 12 foot python in your house with kids.

Congrats parents to be!!! Even without sleep and without a life, you'll still be glad you did it!

Mine are constantly bickering and it makes me crazy, but it is worth having the second one on the rare occasions that I see them actually like each other and have fun together.

Thanks Leeza, but it is easier said than done.
She just don't want her bed. She sleeps on her bed for less than 3hours and wakes up with a scream.
I honestly need a Helmet or a Shield. That is my solution for now.

A friend of mine has a kid who did this, and she bought an alarm clock that had a bunny face on the front. When the bunny's eyes are open, it's ok to go wake the parents. If they're closed, she has to stay in bed or play quietly in her room so she doesn't wake the bunny.

A year old might be too little for the bunny concept but I thought it was incredibly clever. I'm going to get one when it's necessary.

It's best to have your baby in your ROOM in the early days, but they don't have to be in your BED. We had our son in a co-sleeper right next to the bed (I recommend the Arm's Reach Mini Co-sleeper) for about 5 months. We then moved him to another room that was connected to ours by an archway, and he slept much better. Then at about 10 months, when we moved to Australia, he got his own totally separate room. He's been perfectly happy ever since.

That is very clever, llees.

And asaba, I KNOW it is a really, really difficult thing to do. It took about two weeks of crying screaming fits for and hour or two each night until my son finally gave in and accepted (kind of) the situation. I just know for sure this would be something I would do differently if I did it all again. The younger you can do it, the better, I think.

But I am not saying you should do it, I just know I really suffered a lot because I didn't have the balls to tough it out earlier. And I STILL deal with the repercussions, my son at 7 still wants to sleep with me all the time, because that is what is most familiar to him, and we have to negotiate about it a lot.

I agree with this. Plus, there is the added bonus for nursing moms that they don't have to go trudging off to the crib every 2 hours to feed the newborn. Just roll over!

I mean, what animal on the planet puts a newborn in a cage, far away?

It suited me to have both of mine in their own room from the start. I woke up instinctively when they started getting antsy to feed. Baby monitors weren't necessary for night feedings. I just knew (ached). I enjoyed the wee and peaceful hours alone time in a big, cushy swivel rocker in the nursery and allowing the bread earner to get his rest.

On the rare occasion in the beginning when Dad would bring the baby to me to nurse, I would fall back to sleep only to wake up in a pile of puke because I hadn't burped him. Yuck.