Race and dating

Well perhaps it's at the "back of people's minds", but where is the problem? Like when I talk to tall or short friends, I know that they're tall or short, but it doesn't affect how I relate to them. Sometimes it even works its way into conversation...Is it a problem? Of course it's not.

This is EXACTLY what I've been trying to say the whole time. The racial preference comes from negative stereotypes that have been perpetuated over the generations. This is what I think needs to be changed, and the first step to doing that is for everyone to stop highlighting differences - this has to come from all sides. It is very difficult to break out of thinking about racial stereotypes if people don't stop harping on about race. Again, I'm not denying that racism occurs here (or in pretty much every country) and when there are real instances of racism, then they need to be highlighted, but when there are not, then leave it. I firmly believe that continually talking about race is counterproductive to tackling the problem of racism.

It's not naiive, it's the truth. Any culture that is attached to race is a purely artificial thing. And of course it'll take a lot of convincing - but very few "radical" ideas ever get accepted straight up...

flint24, why is it you keep saying people are "reinforcing your point"? Although I've posted several examples, all thoughout this thread you have consistently done this for your own convenience. This is so patronizing and shows you have an inability to see, or understand, or even perhaps entertain other point of views beyond your own personal agenda.

flint's me, me, me thread still going?

Exactly! Everyone is different and everyone has challenges to overcome. It is beyond ignoring and all about working beyond the racial differences or any differences. Get past the differences and move forward. Or just sit and dwell upon it and never get beyond the fact all are different.

Flint24 you are really blind to Whitfield and Wilberforce actions so long ago. If you have no knowledge of their work and what they did to change history. You really need to read and study more about this subject and enlighten yourself.

Katrina you are correct.

what flint seems to forget is that people are more alike than they are different and that differences within "races" or cultures can be more extreme than between cultures. By continually highlighting differences that is all people become fixated on.

Better point!

Editors can this thread be closed now as it appears we've reached a final analysis and this has been discussed ad nauseum.

I wholeheartedly agree to further discuss this topic is counterproductive.

The elephant died from a nut overdose.

Is there someone, other than flint24, who wants it to stay open for more discussion?

This thread lost track a long time ago. I tried to keep it focused on race and dating, but like every other "race" topic on this forum it turned into a "[original poster] is a racist screamer and is blind to reality" and never could keep track of race in terms of dating.

Has any of you people ever answer the original question I posted back in the OP, which was basically why a group of American university daters show strong racial preference when choosing a mate, and recently how the data from the IAT shows strong positive preferences towards white people and strong negative preferences towards black people. Are you refusing to see that?

If race is a non-issue, then why the strong preferences?

This is EXACTLY what I've been trying to say the whole time. The racial preference comes from negative stereotypes that have been perpetuated over the generations. This is what I think needs to be changed, and the first step to doing that is for everyone to stop highlighting differences - this has to come from all sides. It is very difficult to break out of thinking about racial stereotypes if people don't stop harping on about race. Again, I'm not denying that racism occurs here (or in pretty much every country) and when there are real instances of racism, then they need to be highlighted, but when there are not, then leave it. I firmly believe that continually talking about race is counterproductive to tackling the problem of racism.

Has any of you people ever answer the original question I posted back in the OP, which was basically why a group of American university daters show strong racial preference when choosing a mate, and recently how the data from the IAT shows strong positive preferences towards white people and strong negative preferences towards black people.

Yep...I did exactly that on the previous page:

probably because the USA's apallingly long history of racism means that most of society there has a long way to go before being truly comfortable with difference?

So you admit that these racial stereotypes affect people's dating choices? That because a person can't change their race like they can there height, weight or eye color, and because the playing field will never be level in terms of dating because of these racial preferences, to say race is equal in terms of dating is a lie. Some races have advantages over others in the dating world. Even in so called tolerant communities where people don't see themselves as racists, they still show racial preferences when dating. That even if a person is put together completely, they are still shut out from finding love in certain communities because of their race. That's the "non-issue" you keep dismissing! The same people who say "i don't show racial preferences" actually do. People who said "I'll give anyone a chance as long as they meet my attrib. criteria" say one thing, do another. That's my frustration.

I personally think TV - Hollywood and the media - creates these stereotypes and therefor affect how people actually date. It's disturbing actually.

But to live as Hazza suggests works.

The people you are talking about are ignorant and ignorance fails. Stop following ignorance. Why do you keep perpetuating these people yourself?
They can not see past themself and that is Their problem. Do not make it yours.

And we'll continue to ignore why we show strong racial preferences for a certain race, and why 70% of us, all of us, according to the IAT scores, show strong positive preferences for white people. That's what you'll be ignoring.

Again, don't want to start trouble. Just want to start dialogue.