Reading 19 pages, my eyes started to blur.
Did anyone mention generational differences in regards to race?
Speed Dating...now that wasn't around in my dating days, thankfully. What a painful way to get rejected so quickly. If you exclude the captain 'picking teams' in grade school.
Anyway, isn't the OP American? It's always about race isn't it? Just watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding which outlines the perils of inter-racial dating and marriage and what comes with it. I can bet the OP has never seen it. I grew up with race riots in my back yard. My father moved us because in his words, 'we were being surrounded by black people and he didn't want his kids to be in the cross-fire'.
I am white, sorta. Father was full blooded first generation Italian American. He was beat up (mentally) for being Italian. Mother was a cotton picker from the southern states (of English, Irish decent) worked alongside blacks in the fields. Dark skinned, hair, eyed dad, and pale freckled hazel eyed mother. Now, they experienced the first 'marrying outside of race' generation back in the late 50s. My mother was chastised for marrying a damn dego by her ex-mother-in-law that turned out to be Jewish. (We didn't know that til she died and learned her maiden name). They seemed to manage well. As I grew up, I was proud of my Italian heritage but my father never taught us Italian. I recently discovered that my Father's twin sister, who is almost 77 is still ashamed to be Italian. Now I know why he never taught us.
And, what did I do? When in my mid-40s, I married an Indian...from London. He's not Asian Indian at all. He's British. Doesn't know a thing about Indian culture even though he was born there. Did my family accept him? Sure. at First. His accent made them forget his skin color.
But, the struggles remain. It's about generational racism. My sister accepts him but rants on and on about black welfare bitches and the Mexican illegals having anchor babies in America right in front of us. Oh the irony. My Mother obviously accepts him.
Gen Xers - are what 20? 30? it's all about culture, expectations and whether your family will accept your partner. If a girl is raised in a family like mine where racism was rampant, they will shy away from dating other races to keep the trouble out or do it in defiance.
I rejected several dates with black men because of racist rants by my siblings. By the time I met my husband, I realized I was rejecting these guys because of my family, not because of them being human. I decided to take the plunge with this man and fell in love. It had nothing to do with his skin color. Or his race. It was the person. I may have been slow in making that decision later in life, but that is what it is. It can be generational. At least that's my experience.
Edit: I should mention, sister is half sister. Blond, blue eyed..from her father. When people meet us together, they think we're joking when we say we're sisters. Then they look closer and see the resemblance from our mother.
Your father sounds awesome!
Yes I did see the movie. Another reason why interracial dating is important to talk about.
Ok your story is kinda interesting. I wonder if your siblings made fun of the Indian people at the gas stations and convenience stores in America as much as they mad fun of blacks and Mexicans, or if your husband was more "Indian" in culture than British, would that have made a difference. IDK, just the first questions that popped into my head while writing this. Your story is very familiar in the US. White flight was a problem back in the 70's and 80's, and this will surprise you but I don't blame your parents for wanting to leave. But to label it a "black problem" like if your new wealthier neighborhood was also full of blacks then the same problems also would occur, would be lazy. Call it what it is. It's a poor problem. Poverty is not bound by race.
Although it kinda bothers me that you rejected dates with black men because they were black, that was your choice. Could have been love, could have been nothing. You'll never know.
How many other families out there do you think also rejects the idea of their daughters bringing home a black guy? Honestly? As you can see, it influenced your dating preference big time. Is it possible it also influences other girls' dating preference? What about girls in your neighborhood? Your state?
