Race and dating

Hear, hear!

Somebody explain this here elephant thing to me again?

Well, isn't that what Obama's father did? So that means they all do, right?

That lack of dialogue is exactly why these issues never go away. It's kinda impossible to talk about the non-white experience without mentioning these kinds of issues. To some people it's just useless conversation, while to others it's something they live with everyday. A little off topic but, about you saying the rest of Europe just gets on with it, talk to an African footballer playing in the Spainish or German leagues about the issue of race. Racism in European football has been way out of control these last few years. Anyway, it's partially my fault for not knowing my audience. Honestly this is the kind of talk that needs to be amoung people who regularly date outside their race. To others it maybe seem like "here we go again" or like I'm starting trouble or something.

When there's a problem with actual racism, like the African footballers you mentioned, then by all means bring it up then. But I can't see what "dialogue" concerning interracial dating and the idea that people should do it more of it is supposed to achieve.

I don't understand what your point is. It's like you brought your own elephant with you and stuck it into a room and now you want us all to talk about it.

As I said before - the more you harp on about people's differences and point them out, the more likely people are to see them. Is that what you want??

My OP asked if people did it, and if so what were the advantages and disadvantages.

The elephant was the question raised in the article: Do people make dating decisions based off a persons race? It's a hard question to swallow and a killjoy thing to talk about, especially for people who don't regularly date outside their race. But for those that do, I'm pretty sure it's a very relevant question that doesn't get talked about much. Hence, the elephant in the room.

Again, I didn't mean to "start trouble" only to create dialogue.

flint24, I also think, when it comes to dating, most people are probably more comfortable with their own kind. If you are invited to a party and you don't know anyone, will you automatically search for people of your own race or color? When I was in high school and college, I always noticed people socializing with their own color or race. I also noticed the same type of behaviour in the work environment. Maybe, some of us were told, as a child, not to mingle with other races (for various reasons) and this, somehow, played a major role in how we now deal with/date other races in our adult life. Stereotypes, family, friends, acquaintances, associates, media and the movie industry also help to influence our decision-making process. In the end, you can date whomever you want and for whatever reason. Just remember what Forrest Gump said, “My momma always says, Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.”

Agree with you on some parts of what you said, but the part where you think there are no racial issues and problems when you step into an interracial relationship, no problems with the parents, the best friends, the ex-partners, etc, tells me you've never been in an interracial relationship, or not many.

Well considering that the first half a dozen pages was people trying to figure out what "race" actually meant, and then the next lot of pages trying to distinguish "race" from culture and ethnicity, I would put it to you that most people don't have an issue one way or the other. From what I've read here, most people have their own preferences that's based on general appearance (not necessarily race), but also on cultural leanings compatibility. But I think you'll find that pretty much everyone here simply doesn't care about whether other people date within or outside of their own race.

By describing it as an "elephant in the room", your talking about this like it's something we all see, but are too afraid to mention - when in fact, nobody's talking about it, because it's a non-issue and not something they ever worry about.

Nobody's talking about the elephant in the room, because they can't see it...

The fact that I'm a mixed race, means that my parents would have been the ultimate hypocrites if they had a problem with me being in an interracial relationship. My friends wouldn't be my friends if they had a problem with it - for much the same reason. In fact many are in interracial relationships themselves.

It's an absolute non-issue for me...

Oh heck. It's not usually the race that is the problem it's the culture/religion etc.

Go and read Romeo and Juliet for your homework.

well said Pas,i will obviously like to hang around with people of the same culture as me!

Here you go: Elephant in the room

This is perhaps the main reason why there are so many misunderstandings on TT... the cultural differences between the UK and the USA are huge! The culture was definitely why I was not happy in Germany... it wasn't my cup of [cultural] tea.

Hang on a minute. Are you complaining about us or the Gers?

I'm curious how you'd get on in deep redneck country though.