Race and dating

What a load of utter shit!!

So Africans are basically opportunistic, only marry non-protitutes, are users and of dubious character. Talk about marketing your own continent and its people in the worst possible light.

Is that why it's rife with civil war, corrupt governments, the spread of HIV/Aids and genocide? Would explain it from what you've just written.

well lets not go too far and i am sorry my statement was too generalised!
i believe there are opportunist every where in every land
i read alot of negative comments on this thread about africans
and felt embarrased
but there are lots of happy mixed families out in europe with one parent being african
so saying i withdraw my statement bc it was too generalised

I think PezMom3 just made thousands of white male TT readers' day.

Going back to the original topic (and I've had to skim and skip a lot to get here): a lot has to do with environment as well.

I attended university on the East Coast of the U.S. and lived in the San Francisco/Silicon Valley area for years. There were tons of Caucasian/Asian couples in both places, especially in California. Just take a stroll through Palo Alto or Berkeley and you can't help but notice all the mixed race couples (irrespective of how the term race is defined). I think it was really less of an issue there as it is in Germany.

One advantage? Strikingly beautiful children.

I'm Texan and I don't have an accent. It depends on where in Texas you grew up. Dallas and Austin, accents are mostly the "non-accent," East and West are heavier, especially in the rural areas. But the East Texas accent is very different from the West Texas one.

On the subject of attractiveness. I'm white and if a guy is hot, he's hot. It doesn't matter what color he comes in. I've crushed on Whites, Blacks, Hispanics, Persians, Asians, Kal Penn, and Julian Bashir (from Deep Space Nine).

Beyond skin, for me what's important is a) a connection and b) how the guy makes me feel when we're dating. There's also c) which is can he dance? ^_^

So basically from your dating record there are more guys out there of your race who are not worthy than there are white guys out there who are. No wonder you don't date inside your race. If I thought like this everyday I'd be the same way.
I'm not blasting you here cause I've dated outside my race for the last like 10 years, but I don't go around saying stuff like people from my race are not worthy. If you constantly repeat that mantra, you'll eventually believe that there are no guys out there of your race that's worthy of your time. But hey, live your life.

I use that line too Doesn't always work for me tho

Anyway, the article in the OP goes on to explain how people say one thing, but in practice do another. Most women will say they're open to date other races, when few actually do. Why is that? Is it that they don't leave their communities? Is there another reason? Also, stereotyping plays an important part of our social personality. Since it's impossible to know everybody, a lot of daters reduce potential mates to negative and positive stereotypes when nothing else is available for them to judge with. From my dating experience, very rarely do you have a truly open minded person who doesn't do this. For the record, all my past girlfriends have been like this. That kind of rare girl was specifically what I was looking for.

And what if somebody were culturally completely different to others of their 'race' and the standard culture of the 'race' were somewhat sexist?

You're just so far off understanding what's going on if you continue to see it as a 'race' thing.

Why do people mostly date within their own race? Multiple reasons including racism, stereotyping and exposure. I was very open to dating/whatever men from other races, ethnic backgrounds, cultures but rarely got the chance to do so as the vast majority of people I met were white Irish people. As a result, I've only dated/whatever 1 guy who was not white - he was a black French dude. I'm sure such is the case for many many others.
Incidentally, I've never had a relationship with an Irish man (i.e. from the Republic) either. I think you're looking for elephants in a petting zoo, flint

Thanks for staying on topic You're right, California is a hot spot for interracial dating. San Fran, San Diego, L.A and Sacramento are all places I'd love to visit.

Asian men/white women are the second largest interracial couple community, with black men and white women being first. My personal opinionabout this, having lived in Asia for a number of years, also touches on what you said. A lot of Asian women feel that their children with white men will be prized and valued in their communities for their whiteness. In a society where dark skin is looked down upon, it's no secret that East Asians look up to whites as the model western authority. Like it or not, you'll more than likely here an Asian father scolding his daughter for bringing home a black boyfriend that you will a white boyfriend. Perception is key, and in Cali and in my experience Japan, white men are the standard, black men are trouble. With the election of America's first black president, I think the those stubborn perceptions are finally changing. That's because television plays a large role in teaching arm-chair politikers about the world around them.

that's true about stereotyping (neg and pos), flint. I guess I'm a 'i'll see for myself' kind of chick :-)

I find it frustrating when people who date outside their race/culture somehow think they are better than those who refuse to date men/women from certain races/cultures based on a reasonable reason. I belong to the latter camp and I can tell you that my choice is a very personal one and it is an attitude that I don't adhere to in other parts of my life. Being mixed race, I am damned by one side for dating out and damned by the other for not dating in. Try to understand where someone is coming from before you start your rant. Some cultures have more negative elements than others which are harder to reconcile with Western values. When you identify with Western culture more, it can save a lot of heartache, soul searching and generally feeling like shit if you can be honest with yourself and say it's not working for you and move on.

who's ranting chocolatemouse?

okay smilin get your point but been following this thread for the last couple of days and been too lazy to write and is more a response to posts a few pages back.

I agree with this. I think that cultural differences are a far greater barrier to dating than "race". It amused me to see that a few people on this board who I know very well personally, never thought that I have a mixed background. Mine is half European and half Indian - so I'm darker than most of my friends. Yet it appears that only the cultural side of things shines through, and people don't even notice the skin colour.

If I had been brought up in India instead, and developed the cultural traits of that country, then I reckon that the same people would probably only see the Indian side of me and not contemplate that I might be half european - even though I would still look the same.

You've burst into the room expecting to find an elephant, but it's not there...

totally agree with pas and hazza. it is about the culture, the values of the culture that you identify with and whether they are compatible with the other person.