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Discussion forum > Miscellaneous themes > Miscellaneous

Race and dating

Your thoughts on the elephant in the room

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leeza
30.Jun.2009 13:05 hrs
Again, you're mixing race with physical attributes. Height, eye color, hair color... all these things can be changed or modified.
You can change your height temporarily, but not permanently. And weight is not always as straight-forward as you think. Then there are body types - small, petite builds, big-boned, etc. Can't be significantly modified. So your idea has a few holes.

But only in Context. Don's soccer tribes may pray together in the same church.
Why do you keep saying "soccer"? I don't even say soccer!

Perdido, dude, I only read it to mention masturbation. Always a good bet to derail a thread. Didn't work that time sadly.
Oh but I tried, Don, did I try...
This thread is as gay as people arguing about whether you should use vb or c# for fiddling about with .net gubbins. Should you pump out the db logic to a stored procedure or stick it in a class. Should you masturbate with your left or right hand.
All about personal preference really.
Frankly, I prefer the left, as it obviously gives superior performance. And it is a bit out of the mainstream, which is cool. And it just works.
lilplatinum
30.Jun.2009 13:06 hrs
Come on now, that's your opinion and in no way proven. What's "stupid?" Can you or I make that determination? Not the same.
Oh I most certainly make that determination on a daily basis. My point is that we all have criteria we judge potential mates by, and at some level you are going to have a criteria that was not the target's choice.

And you're totally right in preferring not to date dark people, but I'll ask you the same thing I mentioned above: isn't ruling out an entire race of people as date-able statistically reducing your chances of finding love? If you lived in some parts of Africa, that would mean you'd have like a 10% gene pool to chose from. In Europe it's easy, and perhaps you plan to never leave Europe, but it's interesting to note that you could broaden your chances of love by not limiting it to certain races or whatever.
Fortunately as an American I get the salad bar to pick and choose from.

We can argue as to the social factors that determine our aesthetic preferences in mates, but they exist. Attractiveness is not culturally universal, and its not a necessarily a conscious decision. I didn't arbitrarily decide that x, y, and z were the physical traits I find attractive in a potential mate, even though I realize that had I not grown up where and when I did those variables will be different, its not like this knowledge changes their current values.
Pas
30.Jun.2009 13:07 hrs
Because one of my God's Morris used it in that context.
dessa_dangerous
30.Jun.2009 13:09 hrs
angelbeast, I have indeed been following the whole thread, but flint's comment appeared to be addressed to me although he mentions the other girls on the thread. My point is that we are not all making the same point so why am I the only one who has to take the heat?
leeza
30.Jun.2009 13:11 hrs
Because one of my God's Morris used it in that context.
And he's a friggin' Brit too! A travesty, I say. A travesty! A complete humiliation for the whole British race!
Pas
30.Jun.2009 13:12 hrs
He was pandering to the lower cast.
leeza
30.Jun.2009 13:22 hrs
How terrible. How will the colonists ever learn to speak properly with that kind of confusion about?

PS: I decided to keep my southern twaaang. I like it.

There are people in the South of the US who deserve their own race or ethnicity, BTW.
lilplatinum
30.Jun.2009 13:26 hrs
Not to mention bostonians, with that strange language they speak.
Pas
30.Jun.2009 13:28 hrs
Well as a Texas girl shouldn't you have a southern accent anyway?
PezMom3
30.Jun.2009 13:32 hrs
The rainbow coalition ain't got nothing on me.

I honestly do not have a preference. I'm a tall skinny black chick and dated short/different race/skinny/fat you name it. I give everyone a chance. If you can make me laugh,color height or size doesn't matter i we see what happens from there. That or I was a big slutbag :-)
lilplatinum
30.Jun.2009 13:33 hrs
Well as a Texas girl shouldn't you have a southern accent anyway?
I'm a guy and born in upstate new york.
flint24
30.Jun.2009 13:34 hrs
I'm responding to this personally because it appeared to be addressed to me... maybe you put my quote in the wrong place? but i think you have me mixed up with someone else. I never mentioned not liking white guys who have a brown-girl quota. I also didn't say black men were chauvanistic, nor that they were in "my race". While I consider myself half-black, I still see both black and white people as different races than me. Dunno why that is really.

Not that I said anything about this, but there are no sweeping arguments about white guys all being out to get non-white women for their exotic appeal because there seem to be fewer of them. As for whether or not black men are more aggressive when it comes to hitting on women, walk down the streets in my hometown or shit even Berlin and notice the difference in the attention a woman gets from black and white men. It is not racist, nor an unfair stereotype, to say that I am 1000x more likely to get hollered down in an unsavory fashion by a black man than by a white man. It is just a fact. Sorry if it makes you feel uncomfortable, you can un-believe it all you want but it will not change reality. Now you have something to think about.

Like I said I think you must be confusing me with someone else because I never called black men chauvanistic, nor did I say that I wouldn't give a non-white guy the same chance as a white guy. I said if we have a conversation about damn near anything other than how good I look and where my boyfriend is and if he can call me later then yes of course a guy has a chance. I know there's a lot to read here but slow down a bit.
Some of the non-white girls who replied I noticed seem to have a problem with men of their own race. Now I don't mean to take sides here, but I like to look at things from all sides. You make these sweeping statements about guys in your race by saying they have tired pickup lines or their chauvinistic or whatever, but then you also mention you don't like white guys who use you just to say they've been with something exotic. But there's no sweeping arguments about white guys being all out to get dark or non-white women for their exotic appeal. It's just a few. But for the non-white men, seems to be they are all chauvinistic or players. Must be good to be a white guy in Germany. No negative stereotypes to fight off. No but seriously, think about what you're saying. Are you really giving the non-white guys the same chance as a white guy, or do you expect something negative from them right off the bat? It's these subconscious things that you don't even notice that you really have to think about

I wasn't responding to just you, but a few people as well. Let me break this last paragraph down to what I meant:

1) some of the non-white girls who have posted on this thread seem to have a problem with dating men of their own race. that's ok!
2) some of the non-white girls who have posted on this thread have made sweeping negative statements regarding guys of their own race.
3) some of the non-white girls who have posted on this thread used these examples as a reason they don't date people of their race.
4) i'm not taking sides, but some of the non-white girls who have posted on this thread have also said they've witnesses and hate white guys who have sex with them simply for the pleasure of being with someone exotic
5) some of the non-white girls who have posted on this thread still date white guys even though they are aware that some of them are being used as a trophy.
6) any reasonable person would ask why. I'm giving my idea of why, and joking said that it must be good to be a white dude in Germany
Pas
30.Jun.2009 13:35 hrs
I'm a guy and born in upstate new york.
It was aimed at Leeza but you typed too quick.
Keydeck
30.Jun.2009 13:35 hrs
Sounds to me like some girls will, some girls won't, some girls need a lot of lovin' and some girls don't.
lilplatinum
30.Jun.2009 13:38 hrs
It was aimed at Leeza but you typed too quick.
Haha was about to say I am nominally a Texan so it threw me off.
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