Relationship with a German male

What are the little everyday differences?

Pages: 1 2 3

MajorBummer
Hi to you all,

have any of you had a relationship with a German male? What makes them different? What do you like or dislike about them regarding the cultural differences between us and them? I am myself in such a relationship.

Just curious.
Major Bummer
bonydebbie
Had a german boyfreind and the biggest difference is the way they are particular about going dutch! One day, after a short trip somewhere one. He paid for the patner ticket and on the way back he told me and a freind.."now u both each owe me €4,25".
I was too embarassed to take any of my freinds out with him after that.
Showem
When I was going out with a German, I found him a lot less patient than others, but that could have simply been the one I had.
Found him quite willing to commit though.
NicNZ
I think German men are taller? At least on average taller than kiwi/british guys. I only have the current boyfriend to go by so hard to stereotype, but I think there is this ingrained "Ordnung muss sein" thing. The cultural and language differences can result in extra dimensions to the relationship.
MajorBummer
Yeah, I'd also be cheesed off by that. This has happend to me once as well with a German guy, but not with the current one. What I find strange is that they seem in general to be complete oblivious to basic courtesy towards females. I mean, you can be emancipated and enjoy curteous behaviour as well. Why does it seem to exclude one another here in their eyes?
Alala
I've been married to a German (correction: Bavarian) for almost 11 years now...not sure I can remember what it was like to date American guys. German men seem to expect their wives/girlfriends to clean house a lot more than I really want to.
Topsy
IME:
negatives: they expect you to be thin at all times and to clean up after them (sod that for an effing lark)
positives: they are quite good at the more physical aspects of a relationship in many respects <sighs nostalgically>

But I expect everybody on this board will have an experience one way or the other - and each will be totally different - so it's best to just suck it and see, as my Uncle Roger used to say.
Squirrel
been here six and a half years and never been out with a German guy...basically because (generalizing like mad but believing in it just the same) I find them sexist, arrogant , patronizing and humourless. Plus, I hate total slobs but guys that are neat-freaks also freak me out and i find them just generally uncool...

but each to his or her own...that's just my personal opinion. i have lots of German guy mates but wouldn't want to take it that bit further!
MajorBummer
Yes, this is what I mean as well. On the one hand they enjoy the emancipation bit in the sense that we earn our own money AND still do the cooking and cleaning, but on the other hand they don't treat their women like women or in a courteous way. They also seem to all turn pretty pale the moment you mention the topic "children". Then it's "let's-get-out-of-here-time". This I have encountered so often with them! I have been living in Germany for very long already.. I otherwise really like them.
NicNZ
Actually my boyfriend has a great sense of humour and he is very good at sharing housework (he was pre-trained, lucky me). I do find him a bit bossy sometimes, but I always thought this was an only child thing. Maybe not...
cinzia
I have a German male acquaintance who announced a couple of weeks ago that he was thinking of getting married. Since he has been with his (also German) live-in girlfriend for at least 15 years, since they were both teens, everybody was surprised and pleased for him. Somebody then asked, "when's the happy day?"

He answered, "oh, maybe in a couple of years!"

He was NOT kidding.
Katrina
Don't think I can really answer this per se.
Have had two long-term German boyfriends (1 year & nearly 5 years) and I wouldn't describe either of them as stereotypically German (unfortunately with regard to being punctual or organised or tidy, fortunately with regard to sarcastic sense of humour).
My advice? Buy this week's Stern.
Attached image
Very interesting reading.
willy
I find German men to be very controlling (well just one in question ... hehe)!! Nonetheless, very thoughtful, affectionate and committed.
madgibson
most importantly i like guys that make me laugh...
Haven't really had any experience with dating German guys but have been here long enough to realise I probably never will! I agree with Squirrel's comment - very important that a guy can make you laugh. German humour is more slapstick whereas we're more into sarcasm. Unfortunately the Germans generally don't understand sarcasm and take everything you say literally and are then "beleidigt"(offended) If you go to the cinema and watch a film in English where there are also Germans in the audience you will notice how they all laugh at different times to the English speakers!! Quite amusing in itself!

@MB Good luck to you!
kitkat64
there is this ingrained "Ordnung muss sein" thing. The cultural and language differences can result in extra dimensions to the relationship
Couldn't agree with that more. Finally, I have a boyfriend who not only DOESN'T leave his wet bath towels on the floor, but he makes sure they're hanging 'just so'.

And that comment about Germen men being controlling - it's very true. I have another friend who also has a German boyfriend and we both agree - they are trying to control us!

They are not humorless - mine is quite funny, romantic, sensitive and thougtful - but also stubborn, too organized, insensitive and a down-right pain-in-the-ass - sometimes! Depends on what day of the week!!!

I think German men, in general are not afraid to commit - as long as that doesn't mean getting married!!
Pages: 1 2 3
TT Logo
You are viewing a low fidelity version of this page. Click to view the full page.