German wedding and engagement rings

Question: What finger is the wedding ring suppose to be on? Have a german acquaintance that invites me on "dates" from time to time, he wears a band on his right hand...is he married?

Generally Germans wear a wedding ring on their right hand although some adopt the practice of wearing it on the left. Point is that you cannot tell just by looking. However, the important factor is nothing to do with the ring, it is the significance of the date. I "dated" a German girl briefly only to find out that she was married! We went for a couple of meals together which fit into my category of "date" but on a very surreal evening I was introduced to her husband. The situation was that we were working together and went for a couple of meals. To her this was simpy two colleagues eating together after work.

I've been wonderring about the right vs. left hand thing too. Is it a European thing to wear the wedding ring on the right hand or just a german thing? In the US it's strictly the left hand but some men don't wear one at all.

As far as i know an engagement or wedding ring normally is on the fourth finger of your right hand (counting from the inside). However it's a little more safe just to ask him, then just to assume something based on wether there is a ring or not.

engagement rings in Germany are worn on the right hand ring finger (second from outside or fourth from inside). When you get married you usually switch the engagement ring to the left hand wear just the wedding band in the right. Very few Germany wear their wedding bands on the left hand. And of course, the engagement ring will only be worn by the women, just in case someone was gonna make a sarky comment.

And just because a man does not wear a wedding band, does not mean he isn't married, and I have met some men who still wear the wedding bands even though they were widowed.

Okay gals and guys,

Here's my situation. I'm interested in a wedding ring from supplier that only carries it in a size 3 or 3.5. My current engagement ring is size 3.25. BTW, these are all american sizes, just in case you're wondering. Anyway, my engagement ring is slightly loose but still okay to wear on my left ring finger, which is wear Americans usually wear them. My question is: should I order size 3 and keep it on my left finger or should I order 3.5 and wear it on my right and stabilize it with the size 3.25 engagement ring? I don't mind following german traditions as they wear it on the right, correct? Although I don't really see women wear both their engagement ring and wedding band together? What is the custom, or do they only buy one ring for both the engagement and wedding?

Thanks.

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Germans tend to have just one ring. They wear it on the left to signify they are engaged, then flip it over to the right to signify they are married.

I think it depends on whether you want to wear your rings on separate fingers or not.

Another option you haven't considered is getting either size and then paying a jeweller here to size it to fit you properly.

Yes, traditionally the Germans have one ring. They wear it on the left hand when engaged and move it to the right hand on marriage. (Sometimes they don't bother to change). These rings used to be plain bands, now it is more usual to see pairs of rings where the woman's ring is more decorative. The typical British/American engagement ring is unusual. My husband is German but I insisted on a real engagement ring - if he wanted to marry an English girl he had to do it properly! I wear the traditional sapphire and diamond ring on my left hand and the wedding ring on my right. I would find it odd now to wear both on the same finger.

Thanks a lot TT!

Interesting to know different cultures. My fiance is german and I had asked him but he had no clue of the tradition. So glad I came here for some culture classes.

I think I will order the 3.5 ring and wear it on the right and keep my engagement ring on the left.

Geesus!! Size 3!! You must be a tiny little thing!!

So, is the English traditional engagement ring always a sapphire? Didn't know that but now I know why Princess Di had a honking sapphire. I wear a sapphire on my left ring finger for no reason. I hope people don't think I'm engaged!!

How much do you think it will cost to resize a ring here in Munich?

didn't know English tradition was also sapphire, very interesting indeed. My birthstone is sapphire and always found it to be a very pretty stone.

Plus you'll probably get old, fat and wrinkled at some point during your marriage (one would hope) so the bigger size is a good plan.

My ring is diamond, I thought the tradition was also diamond in the UK.

A precious gemstone is traditional but not necessarily a sapphire (although since Princess Diana's diamond and sapphire they did become popular).

Sorry - I did phrase that rather carelessly. Traditional British engagement rings are not necessarily sapphire and diamonds, although as Katrina pointed out, they became fashionable after Diana's and that's when I had mine. What I meant was a traditional British engagement ring as opposed to a boring German one.

I hear you on the 'traditional' American ring instead of the traditional German ring(boring gold band). I'm still trying to convince my boyfriend that I'm an American girl and I need an American ring!! A big honking diamond!!

i wear my wedding band and my engagement ring on my left hand and my husband wears his wedding band on his right hand. no big deal. do what you´re comfortable with. and what looks pretty.

I solved the problem (if you want to call it that) of the rings by wearing my American wedding ring w/diamonds on my left hand, and a gold band I had bought several years before on my right-hand ring finger.

However, as I was asked out on the bus the other day, this doesn't seem to register with everyone! Nor did my 8-week-old daughter, riding in her baby carrier on my chest ...

well, weren't you a bit flattered nevertheless?

I understood that the Germans wore a ring on their left hand when they got engaged and then transferred that same ring to their right hand when they got married ... or is it the other way round ... erm...

Correct...

My parents are Germany (live in Canada) and kept us this tradition...

As well, Rob and I have kept the "Canadian" way and wear it the usual, left hand engagement ring and wedding rings...

Germans do no give engagement rings...just not done here... I have a diamond cluster for engagement ring...just different cultures

- Chris

That is simply not true. I'm sitting next to someone wearing an engagement ring - a plain band on his left hand. He says when they get married, he'll switch over to his right hand.

Er, that is true. It's his wedding ring in engagement-holding pattern. It's not a separate ring from his wedding ring.

so should we tell our potential german husbands that we north-american women traditionally get two rings: an engagement ring AND a wedding ring (when the time comes)?

i know americans usually wear both on the same finger (right hand). well my mom did. she had a diamond engagement ring then a simple silver wedding band. i think she had a gold allergy or my dad was too cheap back then. well, he still is. since i'm right handed i might not like that too much. i think i'll adopt the canadian way (if i ever get married that is).

@ Elfenstar - Am I crazy? I always thought the American tradition was both rings, same finger on the LEFT hand.

And why does it really matter how many rings you get? Seems a bit materialistic to me. Or maybe I missed the point of the question.

erm, so sorry. got me-self a bit confused. i meant left hands o'course and then i was thinking if i marry a german bloke and he wants the right hand thing that would be too much stuff on one finger.

i don't think it has much to do with materialism, just tradition. it's something we girls always drempt of. i know i would feel special if my guy gave me an engagement ring which i would wear proudly to show that i am his. and if i look down at my left hand and see the ring i will get a little jump in my heart. *sigh*

Ok, maybe wrong wording...Diamond engagement rings which are different rings..

As far as I know the Germans use the same ring and switch hands...

But they "technically" do not have a separate engagement ring - in our case a diamond ring or?

- Chris

well, i dunno, elf
maybe i'm in the minority, but it was never really part of my dreams to get a snazzy ring or anything. i'd be happy to just find a suitable bloke, that seems to be the hardest part. I'd be happy with the ring out of a christmas cracker if i could get that bit sorted, and i wouldn't care less which finger it went on

and while we're on the topic it seems to me to be a waste of money to blow a ton of cash on a wedding day when you could put down the deposit on a small plot of land for the same amount of money.

but maybe i need to go to lessons in how to be more romantic, i dunno

When my (American) sister-in-law was presented with a diamond engagement ring by her longtime boyfriend, she made him take it back and get a bigger diamond, she said because all her friends had bigger ones. He was a student at the time!

did he dump her?

I have also heard that the engagement ring in Germany can be a different ring and perhaps just silver, for example, and then matching wedding rings are bought. I have reassured my German fiancee that my wedding ring will only cost a fraction of the price of my engagement ring. I will wear both rings on my left hand and he will wear his on whatever hand he fancies (if at all), but right would be traditional.
An Italian friend wears his ring on his left hand - not sure if he is breaking with European tradition or they do it differently in Italy.

Topsy, no, he didn't dump her (a bit surprisingly.) I guess he probably knew her well enough that he thought he should have expected that or something.

They celebrated their 5-year wedding anniversary last week!

OK; "if at all", this brings up an interesting topic. Why wouldn't he wear his wedding ring? That's a bit strange to me. Someone please clue me in...

I presume she means because lots of guys don't wear a wedding ring. Simple as that.

On the contrary, in many European countries both spouses wear their wedding ring on their left hand.

Well I would prefer that he wears a ring, but he never has worn one before (a ring of any kind, that is). I know other guys who don't or have relatively inexpensive rings as they're prone to losing things.

I've never worn a ring on a daily basis either, yet I make the effort to wear mine. I could understand if they do manual labour, but if the hardest thing they do with their hands is type, I figure they can wear a ring.

For what it is worth, my fiance and I are getting matching bands which we will both wear on our left hands and then switch to the right hand after we are married. I have another ring that he gave me that I considered an "engagement" ring and I guess he considered it more of a "promise ring" that I will put back on my left hand after we are married. I'm from the U.S. (Texas) and he's from Germany.

I don't wear any of my rings - mainly because I do type alot and I developed a rash between my ring and adjacent fingers.

On which hand the Germans wear their engagement-cum-wedding rings does have another significance.
It has a lot to do with handshaking.

I am sure that, cos being engaged is still not quite 'roped'. If and when one does meet another person more attractive than one's future spouse, one can always hide the ringed lefthand behind the back. Shaking with the right hand does not give away the fact that one is 'pre-fixed'.

But when one is married, then the ring will be transferred to the righthand. And on shaking hands with 'juicy' persons, one's marital status cannot escape notice.

@Topsy I like your post - I agree totally!

Ring? no ring? left hand? right hand? I don't think it really matters, as long as the commitment and loving sentiments are there. You can always just tell people that you're married.

Mind you both me and my future husband will be wearing rings - left hand, British side, so what do I know!

How about a ring on neck? Doesnt it signify marriage in a better manner !!!

Signifies you are probably talented at losing things.

Or that you haven't washed.

Someone told me that German Catholics wear the wedding ring on the right hand, while Protestants wear it on the left hand. Anyone know is that's true?

I dunno...my sister is a German Catholic and she wears her's on her left hand... She could just be weird, though.

Well, I am German and engaged. So here's the solution:

Traditionally, the engagement ring is worn on the 4th finger of the left hand. When getting married, you put either a new ring or the same ring on your 4th finger of the right hand.

Short:
- engaged: ring on the left hand
- married: ring (either the same or a new one) on the right hand

Germans don't wear engagement rings and wedding rings at the same time.

Traditionally, engagement rings (if differing from the marriage ring) are silver, wedding rings are gold. But this tradition is quite seldomly remembered nowadays.

If a german woman (men normally don't do it) wears two rings on the 4th finger of the right hand, she's a widow, wearing her husbands and her own wedding ring at the same time.


Hope, I enlightened you

do you know where i can get american wedding rings and bands...maybe here in Germany or adresses to order them from? I actually look for more unique ones...than more expensive. Thanks a lot.