Worst jokes ever

There are no interesting posts on tt today and work is equally as stimulating. To fill the void I suggest we post the worst jokes we have had the misfortune of being subjected to. Any takers?

China had a look alike contest...They all won!

From a penguin bar wrapper:

Q: What do Penguins sing on a birthday?

a: Freeze a jolly good fellow......

So a seal walks into a club...

Q: Why do polar bears not eat penguins?

A: They cannot get the silver paper wrapper off...

Have you read the book about the Welsh cyclist? It's called: How green was my Raleigh.

A man walks into a chemist.
'Can I have a bar of soap please.'
'Which colour, we have red, green or pink.'
'Doesn't really matter, I've got my bike outside.'

What's the difference between a duck?
One legs both the same.

What's the difference between Henry the Eighth and Lester Piggot?
They're both dead, except Lester Piggot.

What's a green dot in a corner?

A punished pea.

*groan*

Whats brown and sticky?

A Twig

Q. What is red and makes sounds like fffzzzist ffzzist ffzzzist ffzzzist?

A. A baby playing with a razor blade.

What did the fish say when he swam into a the wall?
Damn!

Why did the bubblegum cross the road.

Coz it was stuck to the chicken's foot.

Knock knock
Who's there
Dr
Dr Who
You just said it!

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

"Where's my tractor?"

My redneck cousin slammed the car door shut with the keys in the ignition.
It took him two days to get his family out of the car.

Paulson..and Bernanke was a rolling stone.
Whereever they laid their hat was their home.
And when they regulated the markets.
All they left the average investors was... *alone...

*sing to the tune of papa was a rolling stone*

*alone to pay 600 dollars each for the bailout

Two nuns were driving through Transylvania when a vampire flew down and landed on the car. One nun turned to the other and urged "show him your cross". The nun promptly leaned out the window and yelled "Oi! Fu*k off!"

It was in the newspaper this morning

George W Bush.

A Grizzly bear walks into a Bar , "a beer please "
"no chance" said the Barman you do Drugs i'm not serving you ,
"no I don't "insisted the Grizzly
anyway in the end he got his beer ,ended up getting totally mortal .then he got hungry ,
there was two old slappers sitting at the bar, the bear swiped out with his claws and cut one of them into about 5 pieces and proceeded to eat her!
The next night he walked into the bar, "a beer please"
"not a chance" said the Barman "you lied to me last night about not doing drugs"
" I don't do drugs "
"what about that BAR BITCH YOU ATE last night"

Horse walks into a bar.

Bartender asks: "why the long face?"

A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender "Do have Frozen Margaritas here?"
The bartender replies "NO, we make them fresh."