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Meetic

Oktoberfest 2008 random snippets

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llees
My face is killing me - one of those women with their giant trays of food caught me with the corner of her tray last night.

The fact that there is nothing to see but maybe a tiny amount of swelling only annoys me. It hurts like a bitch and yet sympathy will not be forthcoming because nobody knows it's there.

Sympathy, please. I have face ache and, although I'm still pretty cute, I'm hurting on the inside...
sarabyrd
Poverita! That must have been quite a jolt.
llees
Barely felt a thing at the time.

If only I could be drunk at work. Then it wouldn't hurt at all.
Matt T
If you come back from Oktoberfest and you're not hurting, you're doing it wrong.

Got sent these - rules for Oktoberfest:

Regel Eins
Man geht nicht "zur Wiese" oder "zum Oktoberfest", sondern "auf d'Wiesn".

Regel Zwei
Um Verständigungsschwierigkeiten mit dem Service-Personal vorzubeugen und Diskussionen zu vermeiden, sollte sich die Konversation auf den Satz "No a Mass" beschränken.

Regel Drei
Um die Hände für das Klatschen geschmeidig zu halten, empfiehlt es sich, das "Hendl" - für Nicht-Bayern: Brathähnchen - nicht mit dem Besteck zu sezieren. Die Kellnerin instruiert man mit "I iss lieber mit de Finga".

Regel Vier
Wer seinen hart erkämpften Sitzplatz nur vorübergehend verlässt, verabschiedet sich mit der Optionsaussage "I geh zum biesln".

Regel Fünf
Die Anfrage "Ist der Platz noch frei?" wird prinzipiell nie mit "Nein" beantwortet, sondern bayerisch-diplomatisch mit "Do kemman no welche" abgeschmettert.

Regel Sechs
Regel Fünf tritt außer Kraft, wenn es sich bei dem oder der Anfragenden um eine Person vom Kaliber Traumfrau oder Traummann handelt.

Obacht! Versichern Sie sich, dass die Person nicht als Lockvogel dient, und
a ) Zehn halb bewusstlose Italiener oder
b ) Fünf abgestürzte "Europe-in-ten-days"-Amerikanerinnen
im Schlepptau hat.

Bedingungslos und herzlich willkommen geheißen werden hingegen Personen, die offensichtlich über ein größeres Kontingent an Bier-Gutscheinen verfügen.

Regel Sieben
Den Anweisungen der Ordner - Erkennungszeichen sind glasige Augen und Dienstmütze - ist Folge zu leisten. Sie dienen Ihrer Sicherheit.

Regel Acht
Größere Distanzen innerhalb und außerhalb des Bierzeltes können mit dem Satz 'I muas schbeim" - ich kotze gleich - wesentlich schneller zurückgelegt werden.

Regel Neun
Ab 21.00 Uhr beziehungsweise 1,8 Promille gilt es für jeden Mitarbeiter, seine wahre Identität zu verbergen und sich gegebenfalls als Mitarbeiter der Konkurrenz auszugeben.

Regel Zehn
Verbrüderungen, Liebesschwüre und Gehaltserhöhungen können auf der Wiesn bedenklos ausgesprochen werden, da sie spätestens mit Beginn des nächsten Kalendertages ihre Gültigkeit verlieren.
Many of them won't translate well, but here are a few:

4 - Whoever wants to leave his hard-won seat for a short time, takes his leave with the declaration "I'm going for a piss".

5 - The question "Is this seat free?" should not be answered with "No", but should be refused with the more diplomatic response of "The others are just arriving".

8 - Large distances, both inside and outside of the tents, can be covered much quicker with the phrase "I'm gonna spew!".
DanHessen
The Weinzelt only had Hefeweizen. In normal glasses. Havn't had the courage to look at the photos I took yet.
Allershausen
If you come back from Oktoberfest and you're not hurting, you're doing it wrong.

Got sent these - rules for Oktoberfest:

Many of them won't translate well, but here are a few:

4 - Whoever wants to leave his hard-won seat for a short time, takes his leave with the declaration "I'm going for a piss".

5 - The question "Is this seat free?" should not be answered with "No", but should be refused with the more diplomatic response of "The others are just arriving".

8 - Large distances, both inside and outside of the tents, can be covered much quicker with the phrase "I'm gonna spew!".
I think we can translate a few more:

1. It's not the Oktoberfest, it's the Wiesn.

2. To reduce the likelyhood of misunderstandings and lengthy discussions with the serving staff, restrict your conversations to the sentence, "Another bier please" (It doesn't actually say please, but we're English speakers so we have good manners!)

3.To keep your hands nicely oiled for clapping, it's recommended to eat your half a chicken with your fingers. Tell the serving staff, " I'll use my fingers"

4. See above.

5.See above.

6. Rule 5 doesn't apply if the person asking is the man/women of your dreams. Be careful: Make sure the said dream partner hasn't got 10 pissed up Italians or 5 wrecked "Europe in ten days" Americans in tow.

7. The instructions of the security personnel, easy to spot by their glazed eyes and berets, are to be followed. They are there for your safety.

8. See above

9. After 9pm or over 1.8 pro mill blood alcohol level all employees should keep their real identity secret and give out their name as somebody from a competitor.

10. Declarations of brotherhood, undying love and pay rise agreements can be freely given at the Wiesn, with the priviso that they lose their validity at the beginning of the next day.
Gorgo
seems like there can be added another one:

11: don't wear a swastika around your neck

Am Mittwoch, den 24.09.2008, gegen 17.00 Uhr, befand sich ein Polizeibeamter bei einem privaten Wiesnbesuch in einem Festzelt auf dem Oktoberfest. Er setzte sich zufällig zu einem 57-jährigen Deutschen, der in den USA lebt, an den Tisch. Er stellte dann fest, dass dieser Mann offensichtlich eine Halskette mit einem goldenen Anhänger in Form eines Reichsadlers und eines darunter angebrachten Hakenkreuzes trug.

Der Polizeibeamte verständigte sofort seine Kollegen von der Wiesnwache, die den Mann noch in dem Festzelt wegen des Verwendens von Kennzeichen verfassungswidriger Organisationen vorläufig festnahmen.
Moonboot
euhw.
I was lucky enough to see some legless dood puke into his beer then just start drinking from it again.
didn't get a picture unfortunately.
kitkat64
Ah, that's nothing. My husband and another friend saw a guy shit into the pissoir on Saturday. They said he peed into it and then turned around, dropped his pants and pooped into it. How disgusting.
Moonboot
@ KK64 EUHW!!!

there were doods pissing in Mass glasses outside the tent when we were queuing to get in.
bohemka
there were doods pissing in Mass glasses outside the tent when we were queuing to get in.
Where? I can't find the Coors Light tent on the map.
nickjbutt
It is middle weekend, the Italians are here (for a few more hours) and tales are starting to arrive. Can we put them all here?

Best for me? Apart from Dirndls, obviously. A group of Croatians singing a few local and well-known songs in a kind of close harmony, aided and abetted by a few drinks. They started walking out of the Wiesn, continued on the UBahn and serenaded everybody on the platform. I have to say that this was barely midday on the second Saturday, and so these guys must have been early risers. Surprisingly tuneful, even the frosty locals were laughing along...

Worst? The state of the UBahn. I don't mind a few happy drunks, I can cope with a few people slumped in the corner. What I can't cope with are the pools of vomit and the smells. Yuk.
Carm
spent last night at the emergency... got caught up in the scrum to get the ubahn, I fell, got trampled some and really cut up my hand and leg, am now off sick for a week, as I cannot work with such on open wound on my hand. Luckily I needed no stitches and the hand is not broken, but really swollen and sore. That will be my memory for this year.
Keydeck
A few photos from yesterday in the gallery now.

Attached image
Tara
Last night, I went from the Gay Day at Fischer Vroni with its singing trannies to a table of champagne guzzling Millionaires at Kaefer. I love Octoberfest
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