If you come back from Oktoberfest and you're not hurting, you're doing it wrong.
Got sent these - rules for Oktoberfest:
Many of them won't translate well, but here are a few:
4 - Whoever wants to leave his hard-won seat for a short time, takes his leave with the declaration "I'm going for a piss".
5 - The question "Is this seat free?" should not be answered with "No", but should be refused with the more diplomatic response of "The others are just arriving".
8 - Large distances, both inside and outside of the tents, can be covered much quicker with the phrase "I'm gonna spew!".
I think we can translate a few more:
1. It's not the Oktoberfest, it's the Wiesn.
2. To reduce the likelyhood of misunderstandings and lengthy discussions with the serving staff, restrict your conversations to the sentence, "Another bier please" (It doesn't actually say please, but we're English speakers so we have good manners!)
3.To keep your hands nicely oiled for clapping, it's recommended to eat your half a chicken with your fingers. Tell the serving staff, " I'll use my fingers"
4. See above.
5.See above.
6. Rule 5 doesn't apply if the person asking is the man/women of your dreams. Be careful: Make sure the said dream partner hasn't got 10 pissed up Italians or 5 wrecked "Europe in ten days" Americans in tow.
7. The instructions of the security personnel, easy to spot by their glazed eyes and berets, are to be followed. They are there for your safety.
8. See above
9. After 9pm or over 1.8 pro mill blood alcohol level all employees should keep their real identity secret and give out their name as somebody from a competitor.
10. Declarations of brotherhood, undying love and pay rise agreements can be freely given at the Wiesn, with the priviso that they lose their validity at the beginning of the next day.