Are you completely clueless?

The TT competency test asks eight simple questions. The questions are randomly taken from a pool of one hundred.

At some point in the future we might make it a requirement to pass this test before members are qualified to post on the forum.

The set of questions will be gradually refined over time, so as to set the difficulty at around the right level.

The general aim is to reduce the number of illiterate posts to the forum, as well as the number of completely clueless questions asked.

Feel free to post on this thread with any suggested questions that you think should be added to the test.

The test only takes around thirty seconds, and it's fun. Click to take it now: Competence test

Stupid Marmite question blew it

I failed ?

Done 14:27:20 hrs ! Do we get medals, or simply shunned by TT'ers who failed the marmite section?

You are reading a thread on TT and you feel a strange urge to post a picture of a kitten in it.
How should you proceed?
1 - blow your own brains out with a gun
2 - stab yourself repeatedly in the chest with a knife
3 - call the emergency services and request to be sectioned
4 - post the kitten picture, assuming that everyone will find it ball bouncingly hilarious

easy peasy lemon squeezy!

Well I would never use the word awesome or any of it's derivatives and therefore only had the option of describing the universe as big enough to swing a cat, which I believe it is. Of course I don't actually know if it is, but I'm prepared to believe what others tell me about this particular subject.

I failed, damn it. What's the plural of Information? I chose informations. No f****n way it is Informationes.

You are reading an advertisement on TT which states "PM for details". Expressing interest for the item, should you

1 - Post the on the thread "You have a PM" (particularly if you do not then send a PM to the relevant person)?
2 - Express your doubt via email?
3 - Send a personal message to the advertiser in question?
4 - Do the needful and post your private telephone number to the thread?

Does it tell you which question(s) you failed on? I wouldn't know.

Pheww !!! I is compedunt fank gaud

It does

Congratulations, you passed the competence test: 21.Jul.2008 at 14:38:24 hrs

Oh Jeeves, so subtle and yet so smug.

There should be a question in there about the word 'doubt' vs 'question' too!

Congratulations, you passed the competence test: 21.Jul.2008 at 14:39:40 hrs

But I guessed at the Universe question

When asking a question about a meet- up time should you write it like a) or b):

a) Wot tim wil u b their. I will b L8. Thx

b) What time you get there? I may be late. Thanks.

Would posting spelling and capitalization errors in the Competency Test go against the spirit of the test?

Somebody offers a job and ask to be contacted via email, you:

1. Reply in the thread that you are interested in the job and copy/paste your CV in your message
2. You are not interested in the job but you reply complaining about people doing #1
3. You contact the person via email
4. You inform the Arbeitsamt about the illegality of that offer.

You need to get on with important work but cannot bring yourself to leave the TT website …what do you do?

1 continue to ask and answer mindless Questions on TT and sod work
2 continue to ask and answer mindless Questions on TT and sod work
3 continue to ask and answer mindless Questions on TT and sod work
4 continue to ask and answer mindless Questions on TT and sod work

This test is faulty. Everyone knows you only get 10 eggs in a package here in Germany.

a dozen is still a dozen though, isn't it ?

Very disappointing, i passed first time.

I would have been blown apart on several questions if i'd answered them honestly though.

Didn't understand the Q about curry competence though?

Congratulations, you passed the competence test: 21.Jul.2008 at 15:14:34 hrs

Maybe I had the easy questions. Which was nice.

What's that have to do with anything?

nice to know that according to TT i'm competent!

Hmm judging by the posts here the questions seem to be different everytime you take it...I didn't get any egg, marmite or universe questions! Guess I have to wait 20 mins & try again, my questions were all boring, well other than asking if I had sensible nipples, the option of answering "no they are pretty wild" wasn't available.

a dozen is still a dozen though, isn't it ?

- ever heard of a baker´s dozen???

:-)

tee hee

Or perhaps the first line on thread which states that there would be 8 questions out of a store of about 100.

Judging by the posts here...the quiz itself rather than just the content seems to be a pretty good competency indicator.

Respect for that picture. It would make even the most hard core cat lover's eyes bleed.

I've got plenty more where that came from and will ration them as I see fit.

Next time instead of calling someone a cunt I'll just post a picture of my kitty. Be warned.

Exactly right there..."awesome" is not a word I frequently used after the 80's.

You are planning a move to Germany. At what point should you realise that you cannot live without your favourite ITV programmes?

1. 2 years before planned move as you realise already that you have no intention of integrating whatsoever. You already have a semi-professional understanding of the hardware required and have bought yourself all the kit to do it yourself.
2. 2 months before planned move as you are smart enough to check out the options (or lack of them) on the screen in your hotel room as you spend spend time flat hunting in your proposed new town. Time for a search on the topic followed by a couple of well placed supplemental questions to the TT community.
3. 2 weeks before planned move as you have read something on Toytown Germany (to avoid doing the packing) about Sky cards, grey markets, preferential supplies, some fat bloke who is not as fat as he used to be etc. Time to be cheap and stress yourself out properly by getting the package sorted at your 95 year old aunty Ethel's address before you go. In your current state of mind, searching is no longer an option, your preferred mo is to pepper the bulletin board liberally with non sequiters in the hope that other people have been in the same situation before as you.
4. 2 seconds before you wish to switch on the TV, as your residence is indeed an embassy and has a roof big enough for the required size satellite dish in Berlin.

I lost it with this answer (since I just noticed the Nazi scum removed a post of mine)!

Well I thought it was confusing throwing in 2 cities in Germany in the What is the Capital of Germany! I could rule out New York and London but Frankfurt and Berlin? I thought it was Bonn - but I don't keep up on current affairs :-)

So how does one start the test?

The questions were too easy. They must've been.

Congratulations, you passed the competence test: 21.Jul.2008 at 17:21:28 hrs

I'm really not sure this is a good idea.

The entertainment value of this site would go down dramatically if it starts getting filtered.

Christmas tree anybody?

That was cool and I can guess at some that wont make it.

I concur that there must be different questions because I didn't get a marmite one or a capitol of Germany question(everyone knows its Bonn thats a regular of FOX news DUH!).

Were you inspired by the German integration test Master BOB?

It's written in the very first post of this thread!

So much for competency

Good question would also be as stated before:
What is a bakers dozen? 10,11,12,13,14 etc.

And you should put a time limit on the test master BOB so nobody can Google on the side.

I hardly think anyone needs to google that test.

I got really boring and dead easy questions. I want a Marmite question too! And a Universe question. Gonna take it again, maybe I'll get lucky this time.

EDIT: Arrgh! I can't take it again - it just says "Congratulations, you passed bla bla bla". Or do I just have to wait a bit first?

did you get the swallow and the coconut one ?

Swallow and coconut? Sounds like I really missed all the best ones.

Pssst Green Tea, try googling it.

Thanks bluedave, I just googled. Yes, I think I remember that now - from a v-e-r-y long time ago.

It still won't let me take the test again.

I guess once you've passed, you've passed.

EB then sends out the Certificates by email and you print it out (and/or add it to your CV/Resume.)

Plus, the individual number (password) on the certificate is access to the Special Forum.

I still didn't get my certificate email. Maybe I should call them. Does anyone have the phone number of TT?