Jazz is an assault on the ear-drums

How on earth anyone can sit and listen to Jazz is beyond my comprehension. Just an assault on the ear-drums, and should have a World-wide ban.

I'm not terribly fond of heavy metal (Rush, to be exact) but have let Scogs listen to it in the car as he would then tolerate Jim Croce for the same amount of time. Sooner or later, every jazz recording ends (generally later, true).

well, you're entitled to your opinion, I suppose. I guess it's a good thing you can choose not to listen to it. Personally, I love Jazz, especially the old standards and easy listening-type stuff. Not so big into the abstract stuff, but that's not really stuff you run into without looking for it. Tolerance, though, babe. Learn a little, it's good for you.

Would be nice to know how the OP is defining jazz, considering the many different styles, most of which cross over into other genres. I'd be curious as to what specifically he'd like to ban here.

Something that begins, noodles around with no defined structure, and then, thankfully, ends.

I agree, also with the_cat

Basically jazz is an unbearable noise produced by trumpets. There may be other instruments, but trumpets dominate.

Like Hawkwind?

oh my god! you've just described my sex life!

jazz is jizz.

Jazz... great.

Wooooah. Don't mention Hawkwind in the same thread as jazz man. Hawkwind is totally easy to understand, you just need the right medication. Nearly as super awesome as the Ozric Tentacles in fact, but nothing compared to Harrold Juana. Yeah man.
I've got guitar effect pedals that are ONLY useful for playing Hawkwind stuff man.

modern jazz isn't too good but older stuff is.

If you think jazz is all about trumpets did I think you don't really know jazz. Jazz is about many different instruments. In fact, on some jazz recordings there's no trumpet or horn section at all.

I love jazz, but I also like all other kinds of music as well. Even the country music I'm forced to listen to when I visit my mother.

jazz is very shit, but the ultimate shittest music ever is blues. music should cheer you up not make you want to jump off tall buildings.

Hey? Are we related. Jazz and blues are my two hated forms of music too.

Why can't you just have your tastes and leave others to theirs?

I've gotta agree with you. I feel a bit guilty now they've I've just read all about its origins and stuff but nevertheless, its bloody boring and really annoys me.

Raffles, you're entitled to your opinion, but unfortunately, you're wrong. Have you ever heard Sketches Of Spain?


Ozric Tentacles! Woah don_riina, man, that's far out, I never thought i'd hear their name mentioned again by anyone except the dopey hippies I used to hang out with when I was a wastrel teenager. Did you see them play at the Archers in Teddington in '91 by any chance?

You don't like Blues? Well that precludes you from liking a huge amount of guitar based music made since the 60's whether it's Led Zeppelin, The Rolling Stones, or Radiohead.

for those who know less than what I have forgotten about music: jazz is a by product of the fusion of blues, symphonic trap bands, dance bands, etc.

"jazz" is far too broad a term to label specifically...Drum and Bass is considered jazz...the birth of techno came from jazz...basically any R&B, Rock and Roll of any type all comes from jazz.

what exactly do you call jazz? can you identify it in all forms?

even the gypsy kings are considered jazz (fusion of blues and flamenco classical guitar)...are you saying that hurts your ears?

without jazz, there is no Motown, Beatles, Elvis, Pearl Jam, Eric Clapton, etc. etc.

idiots should be banned worlwide...then again, it would be a very lonely place.

What he said.

I'm sitting here rocking out to Jimmy Smith and Wes Montgomery. Don't care a bit if y'all don't like it.

Yeah, and all paintings should be of puppies and kittens, all TV shows should be sitcoms, and all movies should be romantic comedies.

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDe, Rock on!!!

Wednesday July 16: Chick Corea, Stanley Clarke, Al Dimeola, amongst other GREATS playing at Schloss Neuhardenburg, outside of Berlin...

Yeah, but we could do without ignorant fucktards couldn't we?

Each to their own...though I have to agree, IMHO, all Jazz is pants. I find it completely discordant.

If there weren't any 'ignorant fucktards' who would there be to laugh at?

I've tried listening to jazz just to try to understand what's so great about it. After all, lots of people do rave about it, so I want to share this wonderful experience. But no - most of it just doesn't do anything for me. Especially not Dixieland jazz, trumpet-heavy stuff, or the stuff that seems to wander around meaninglessly, and especially not the cacophony where each musician in the ensemble seems to be doing entirely his own thing with no regard for the others. Then I suffer terrible self-doubts and wonder if I'm just not musically intellectual enough to understand it.

But as ER said earlier, there are so many different kinds of jazz, which cross over into other genres, and around the edges it's hard to say exactly what is jazz and what isn't. And occasionally I come across something categorised as "jazz", or jazz-related, that I do like. That tends to be the case if it's based around piano or guitar, and no trumpets.

"Jazz" is such a broad category... There are so many types of Jazz - the mind boggles.

Some of the best musicians who have ever played - in any genre - were Jazz musicians. As a drummer, I'm always looking to Max Roach, Buddy Rich, Gene Krupa and lately JoJo Mayer and Rodney Holmes; although I first got interested in drumming via rock drumers such as Keith Moon and John Bonham.

Yes, there are types of Jazz which I do not like - Swing (Big Band) Jazz being the main culprit. But to say that "Jazz" is an assult on the ear drums is akin to saying that all Hip-Hop music is sexist and violent.

I just got back from my one hour walk along the river and I was listening to jazz on my mp3 player. The jazz definitely enhanced the monotony of the walk. I was listening to some Miles Davis, Charlie Haden, Stan Getz, Ramsey Lewis, Shirley Horn, and Astrud Gilberto and a few others. I'm going to have to start a thread to hear what other folks like to serve up for their jazz.

All music is shit. Ban it all.

and ban Jizz

Agreed. Things are much more fun when they're banned.

You are an uncultured heathen.

FirstCitizen, ... NO, but I have heard of the Sultans of Swing.Now that is music to my ears.

Only the good stuff.

Errr? Why is that then? Just because bands that have happened since may have liked or been influenced by blues does in no way mean that:

1. They are blues-oriented bands themselves.
2. They arrived at the their sound and developed their music completely based on blues.
3. Their music sound like blues.
4. All the members of the band liked blues or play in a blues style.
5. They neglected to learn a few more guitar chords and patterns than the standard 60s 12-bar 4-chord twaddle.

Apart from that, I thought your post was excellent.

By the way, do you know me? The reason I ask is because if I had to make a list of five bands that I hated with a violent passion you have picked two out of three and that is just too much of a coincidence to be a lucky guess.

Interestingly enough, the list would read something likes this:

1. U f'ing 2
2. The Beatles
3. Led Zeppelin
4. Radiohead
5. Bon Jovi

I only wish they could all be at number one in my list actually, but you can't have everything I suppose.

Bon Jovi, spot on, coiffured gob shites, The Beatles? Please just take some time to listen to Sgt Peppers' (again if you already have), Radiohead, you might hate them, but you can't deny how massively influential they've been, Led Zeppelin, sorry, but that's just mental, the greatest rock band of all time. U2, I can kind of understand that, but their early stuff is rich.

Sgt Pepper, which I own, is in my humble opinion shown up badly by the early Pink Floyd singles in terms of innovation (psychadelia etc.). Incidentally, both bands were in the studio at the same time (Pink Floyd were recording "Arnold Lane"). I hate them, but I know I am on my own with because "you never say bad things about the Fab 4 right?" Radiohead I saw play in 1992 at Kingston university after being initially excited at the first release of "Creep". However, they turned up to play at 12:30am keeping everyone waiting for three hours, played a lacklustre set (badly and out of tune) and looked as miserable as sin about it. "Pablo Honey" had some bright moments ("Stop Whispering" and "Thinking about you" spring to mind), however they then went on to produce utter bollocks. They probably are influential, but heaven knows why... Influential to those lacking imagination perhaps or those that think that farting into a four-track constitutes music.

Led Zeppelin I just don't like.

Zep ruuuuuuuuule!


The White Album is better IMO. Bon Jovi can all die, Radiohead did some good stuff here and there, U2 tunred shite, and Bono is a twat, but Zep ruuuuuuuule!

Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuule!

I think the OP means jazz in the sense of the courtney pine style racket which sounds like an air-raid siren being pushed down a flight of stairs, and is quite frankly about as attractive as being gang raped in the eye sockets by a bunch of aids infected rhinos

Don't even argue with this guy. If you don't like jazz you have no class!

It's also a known fact that if you try to drink a martini to any other type of music you risk creating a rupture in the space/time continuum. It's true, I say it on Next Generation.

As stated before, so many different subgenre of "jazz" to group into a single "I hate jazz" bucket. It's a bit like saying "I hate folk/country", which excludes bluegrass and the Grateful Dead.

I have a british colleague who hates it all, calling it "the most self-indulgent noodling and toodling I've ever heard." He has a point: Like modern classical music, meoldic music isn't considered "serious" enough ... it has to be atonal and "difficult". This sets the barrier to entry high for music snobs.

The thing about jazz is how it is usually based upon a well-known canon of standards, with improvisation that mean-reverts to the melodic line. it can be quite enjoyable ... a bit like watching a freestyle ski jumper twist and turn (where's he going with this?) and then land flat on two skis, whereupon everyone applauds.

Jazz, like light classical, has had its reputation sullied because it is often used as instrumental background music.

If you want to hate jazz forever, visit the Peace Hotel in Shanghai. It sounds like a middle school band, but still way ahead of whatever's in second place "At best, Asian music is off-brand American pop, like Sonny Bono in a karaoke bar. At worst Asian music sounds as if a truck full of wind chimes collided with a stack of empty oil drums during a birdcall contest."

That all said, there's a special place in hell reserved for the practicioners of that sort of Kenny G "smooth jazz".