How to introduce a female friend in German

I'm currently in Berlin with a female friend of mine. We're sharing a room and doing the same German course, so are together pretty much all the time. Since we're meeting so many new people, it has occurred to us that we very possibly come across as lesbians, which isn't helped by the fact that 'Freundin' means both 'female friend' and 'girlfriend'. A lot of the time, when I am talking about things I have done, I say 'Ich bin mit meiner Freundin gegangen' - is there a way of saying that which makes it clear that we aren't a couple?

No.

Actually yes...

"eine Freundin von mir" is a girl friend rather than a girlfriend although you can't use it for every context (it just doesn't fit and I can't think of an example just now)
e.g. Ich bin mit einer Freundin von mir gegangen

It's been my general experience that girls shallow enough to worry about being taken for lesbians are, in fact, the last girls that would be taken as such.

as said above, if you want to emphasize that someone is just a friend you usually use an indefinite article instead of a definite one

-> "eine Freundin von mir" instead of "meine Freundin"

A friend vs My friend

I expected a response like that. I have nothing against lesbians whatsoever, and I am not shallow. I just wanted to make sure I was talking about my friend in the right way, since I'm not a native speaker of German and could have been blatently saying 'My partner' without realising it.

Thanks for the advice, I have also said that, it just seems more natural to say 'Meine Freundin' since we're almost always with each other!

It might sound a bit too distant, but you can use 'kollegin'. I notice that Germans tend to use it beyond the usual 'colleague', to denote 'associate', etc. Besides she's doing the course with you, so is a 'colleague' too.

Bekannte is friend without being girlfriendy.
Mitbewohnerin is always good.
Ich bin mit X hingegangen, wir teilen uns derzeit eine Wohnung - girl from shared apartment

Of couse anyone can read anything nasty into any word if they are so inclined.

where did you meet your friend? I usually say things like Schulfreundin (friend from school), Jugendfreundin (teenage years), Freundin aus Kindergartenzeit/erste Arbeitsstelle etc etc etc.

Freundin von mir, and Bekannte would both work. Kollegin I think strictly speaking means work colleague.

Or just wear a t-shirt saying "I'm not a lesbian". Whenever I wear mine, nobody thinks I'm a lesbian.

perfect, i'll try those phrases from now on, thanks for your help

You could also make up a little "I'm not a lesbian" song and dance routine, in the key of G. It's a great icebreaker too.

Refer to your friend by name.

How about: eine Mitbewohnerin von mir = A flatmate of mine. Course, sounds a bit strange if you only have 1 flatmate/housemate, but not sure if Meine Mitbewohnerin has the same connotations as Meine Freundin.

Depends on the age i'd say, and on the gender. For university students, it's doesn't carry any connotations, but if you're in your mid-40s... well, a "meine Mitbewohnerin" and a little eyebrow-waggling would carry a lot of connotations. More so for mixed-gender WGs of course.

I hate it when English speakers refer to their significant other as their "partner". To me, that always meant you were in a same-sex relationship. If you don't want to get married than just call a spade a spade -- boyfriend/girlfriend.

by partner, it is meant life partner!

Actually, a lot of folks in opposite sec relationships use the word "partner" in an attempt to neutralize gendered/sexual orientation connotations and make 'partner' become an ambiguous homosexual and heterosexual term.

simply say "ich bin mit einer Freundin gegangen", that makes it clear that she's your friend but not your girlfriend!

Mh, I'd say one would refer to ones lesbian partner rather as "Meine Partnerin" or "Meine Lebensgefährtin" than " Meine Freundin", but anyway since this problem occures also in mixed sex friendships, maybe a hint: "Eine Freundin" is indeed a possibility, but sounds quite similar to "Meine Freundin", so to clarify which is which, try: "Eine gute Freundin" or even "Meine beste Freundin" depending on how close you are. Both times it's clear that it's not your partner.

Another sulution for this dilemma is avoiding the "Freund/Freundin" at all, as mentioned MitbewohnerIn is good in this case, but there's also "Kumpel (Mate)/Kumpeline(female mate, not actually good German).

Oh, and before I forget this:


"Mit jemanden gehen" is school slang for "being together", so if you fear people might think you're in a relationship with someone you're not, be more specific like "hingegangen, mitgegangen" and the like. :-)

thats something no one would even think off except if you're 15 or younger!!! and where the hell did you get kumpeline... that isnt even a real word!!!

also Mitbewohnerin > isnt necessarily your friend
Kollegin is in general not used by females to refer to a female friend.
Kollege, alter schwede, kumpel, etc. are words used by guys to refer to other guys

Kumpeline isn't a real word, but lots of people use it and know what is meant when they hear it.

i get whats meant but i certainly never ever heard that one before!

"Meine (beste) Freundin" has no lesbian connotations. Not at all. A lesbian, if she wants to inform the people, rather would introduce her friend as "(Lebens-)Partnerin".

In a student context, Kommilitonin means a female fellow student. Kommilitone is the male equivalent.

But I really wouldn't worry about using "meine Freundin".

According to all the cool kids in Kindergarten, you should refer to your friend as "meine alle alle beste Freundin". Though admittedly I haven't heard many adults referring to their girl friends that way. I think using "meine Freundin" is ok. You may even refer to her I guess, as someone else said, as your "Mitbewohnerin" or even just your "Kollegin". I always thought Kollege/-in purely referred to work colleagues, but my ex uses the term for pretty much anyone he's befriended with. Then again, maybe he's just weird.

It does have some in my opinion, due to the possessive there. Keeping it neutral ("eine Freundin") doesn't carry that connotation.
"eine gute Bekannte" would also be another possibility, that implies a closer, but not sexual, relationship while not implying it's just some person you know.

@ kato

Sorry, but that's not true - in Germany. "Eine Freundin" means a good, but not very close friend, one friend of many others. "Der beste Freund"/"die beste Freundin" is a very special unique person, he/she is the closest friend, a "Vertraute®", someone you trust 100%, someone you can tell "everything" and so on. As I wrote before, there is no any lesbian/gay connotation.

I think it's a good idea to create a scale of friend/relationship:

Kollegin means a co worker, nothing else. If the Kollegin is also a friend you can say "meine Freundin und (Arbeits-)Kollegin"
Bekannte is a kind of friend but not a close one.
Eine Freundin : see my previous post
Eine gute Freundin: a closer friend, but one of other "gute Freundinnen"
Meine Freundin : a bit closer than "eine gute Freundin"
Meine beste Freundin: see my previous post and of course, the Superlativ "beste" makes clear that there is only one "beste Freundin" at the time.

Das ist eine Freundin von mir, wir Küssen aber nicht auf den Mund.

That is clear.

Sorry, but I was addressing the possessive form. Think of the connotations of the following two sentences:

"Ich bin gestern mit einer Freundin im Kino gewesen."
"Ich bin gestern mit meiner Freundin im Kino gewesen."

The second holds a possessive form that forms an exclusive situation, signifying "girlfriend" and a sexual connotation. Unless the person that hears the sentence knows that you only have exactly one female friend, and then it would still hold a sexual connotation

Adding the possessive in the dative form ("mit einer Freundin von mir") not only doesn't hold the same connotation, but would also be superfluous. The Possessive in this case has a definitive meaning.

The same holds true for the male forms really. And, btw, i've yet to meet any gay or lesbian person in Germany that would use "Partner" in the above sentence.

"Ich bin gestern mit einer Freundin im Kino gewesen."
"Ich bin gestern mit meiner Freundin im Kino gewesen."

The second holds a possessive form that forms an exclusive situation, signifying "girlfriend" and a sexual connotation.

Nope. Using the Possessivpronomen in this context is absolutely common in Germany, and as long as both friends are male or female there is no sexual connotation. It's a bit more difficult, when a male/female uses "meine Freundin/mein Freund" for the opposite gender. Eg, to make clear that "meine Freundin" is not "my girlfriend" men often use phrases like "eine gute Freundin von mir" - or if he has to explain to his missus the long blond hair on his jacket - "wir sind nur gute Freunde - mehr nicht!" = no sexual relationship, just friends.

Definitely not around here.

edit: There are exactly four connotations that would be read into it, depending on inflection:

1) "oh come on, you know i only have one friend"
2) "well, she's my friend, not yours"
3) "well, she's my friend, and you're not"
4) "you know, my girlfriend"

If you introduced sb as "Meine Freundin" to me, I (as a German) would not assume any lesbian connection unless you started kissing each other, or held hands...but that could have sth to do with my being such an innocent little angel

If you want to be sure, just add half a sentence of explanation - i.e. 'who's doing the German class with me' - or the young ladie's name: 'Meine Freundin Sabine'

eine Bekannte von Dir?

I would say" Bekannte" as "Kollegin" means co worker. On second thought the word "Freundin" means both friend and girlfriend. So I would say "Freundin" and if anybody assumed I was a lesbian because of that, well screw them and their small minds.

I would not use Bekannte as a replacement for Freundin. A Bekannte is sb you know but don't necessarily socialise with - could be colleagues, or the girl in the bakery. A Freundin means more than that, is sb you go out with, talk to about things that concern you or her, etc...