Dating a German immigrant to the U.S.

I am dating a girl that immigrated to the US from Germany. She came here with her husband who was in the Coast Guard. They have a child together and I understand that child is a US Citizen, but she is not. She has told me that she left her husband after 8 years because he physically and mentally abused her. The state does have charges against him for domestic violence, so I feel she is telling me the truth regarding his abuse. My question, she tells me she is not a US Citizen but because of her daughter, she is allowed to remain here for at least ten years. She has told me she loves me and I am a little hesitant to believe her only because we have not been together that long. Could someone enlighten me to the immigration laws? Could she just be pulling the wool over my eyes because she feels the need to find another "sponsor husband" soon, else be forced with deportation? Why or what does she need to do to get her own citizenship status here in the US? I want to trust her and I have deep feelings for her, but I am afraid of being duped just because I can provide her a form of citizenship. Can someone help me?

Dude, you're asking ex-pats in Germany about U.S. immigration laws. Not our area of expertise.

As a human I can say that if you have doubts about the relationship, you may want to listen to them.

Does she already have her green card? If so, for how long? Once she has had it for a certain period of time, she can stay even if the marriage breaks up.

I don't know if any TTer has been through a similar situation (hopefully not) but I think it is possible for an abused noncitizen wife to stay in the US even if she has not met the aforementioned time requirement. Look at the ICE website for more information.

I'd say it is more likely that she is looking for someone to help support her and her daughter than as a means to stay in the US; however, be very careful about getting married, i.e., be 100% sure that is what you want to do.

Wait. I forgot to ask the most important question:

Is she hot?

Obviously not!

German women don't say they love someone so fast, in general, and I would think they'd sleep with you before they do. Generally, of course.

German women can be a bit cold in public towards their partners (not cold, but public affection is just not as normal here as it is in the States) -- however, if she's been in the States for years and won't let you get close to her, I'd think something was up. Especially since you don't get close in private, either. It could be she is not into you but wants to use you, but it could also be issues from being treated so badly by her ex. Is she in therapy?

Germans are generally much more open about sex than Americans, go ahead and ask her why she doesn't like it or want to do it.

She ought to already have a green card. If she's saying she loves you and you haven't even slept together yet, run away. Run away FAST. That's not how German women act, it's how citizenship-seekers operate.

woof.

You bright guy, he never said anything about whether they'd slept together or not.

Yes he did.

Dude, get away from this woman.

She probably has a green card through her husband. The first one you get is issued for 2 years, the second one is issued for 10 years (and then you have to renew it every 10 years or you can apply for citizenship after 3 or 5 years, depending on how you got the GC). It does not become invalid if the couple divorces so if she is saying it is because of her daughter she is allowed to stay that is not quite true (unless that was one of her arguments when she extended her GC if they split up before she got the 10 year extension). May just be that she is not completely informed about her rights though.

She will probably be able to extend her green card even if she and her husband are divorced as he physically abused her and she has proof of that (police charges) if she can provide for herself and her child. Basically, she does not need you or another guy to act as a GC sponsor.

And she will be able to apply for citizenship before the GC expires (again, without you) but she will probably have to give up German citizenship (there are certain exceptions but not many) to get US citizenship, so it is possible she may not want that!

Basically, of course it is possible she thinks you could be a visa sponsor, but she actually does not need one. If you have no real reason to believe that she may be using you, give her the benefit of the doubt. (To me, it doesn't sound like you do, it sounds like you just think because she is so quick to say 'I love you' and because she is a German living in the US with a green card that she may be using you.) She may just be one of those to say 'I love you' very soon into a relationship.

By the way, you might be getting way more useful replies on this forum: http://www.talkaboutusa.com/ which is a forum for Germans in the US (many women/men who are married to Americans and also some who are in the situation your girl is in). It is mostly in German but you can post in English, and maybe ask everyone to reply in English to make sure no one replies in German.

There are no laws in the US allowing the non-citizen mother of a minor citizen to remain in the country for no other reason than maternal status.

No, cinzia, there are not, but in cases like this (divorce and domestic abuse), there does not have to be a sponsor for extending a green card as long as the woman can financially support herself and her child.
That she said something like this may be because she is not that well-informed about her status.

Maybe she's looking for financial support. And if she accused her husband, does that really legally count as proof that it happened?

Just some examples from that forum:
http://talkaboutusa.com/viewtopic.php?t=25397
http://talkaboutusa.com/viewtopic.php?t=36448
http://talkaboutusa.com/viewtopic.php?t=37838

Ruthie, according to that forum all you have to prove is that you entered the marriage in good faith. The domestic abuse may be 'helpful' but not necessary to extend the green card. Once you have the 10 year one (permanent green card), as far as I know it doesn't matter any more at all, and it sounds like she has that one.

It sounds like none of you are considering that she might genuinely be interested in the relationship.

She's not looking for a gc sponsor? Then she is probably looking for a financial supporter.

Is she legally divorced from her husband now? Have you seen divorce papers? Have she received any counseling to address and resolve any emotional issues related to her husband's abuse?

Obviously, you have some reservations about this woman in terms of what she's telling you.Why would you even want to know if getting citizenship is what's motivating her? Do you have some trust issues yourself? Is she the kind of woman you would want a long term relationship with or a possible marriage?

I suggest you don't get to far ahead of yourself planning a future with this woman or allowing her to plan one with you, you haven't even shagged her yet.

True, and nothing the OP posted suggests that she even wants to stay in the US forever. Lots of Americans have the attitude that this is the "best country in the world" and that everyone would want to live here if they could. Not true.

You might want to clear that up, ddesigns.

Bang her then move on.

Based on what he's shared about her "husband", I hope this time she's fucking up.

I just noticed you started another thread with this posting:

"Could someone tell me what type of romance German women like? Are they traditional, like love letters, flowers, sweet nothings etc. or are they more modern and shy away from that sort of treatment, seeing a man as desperate or weak by showering her with affection? I am also interested in knowing what German women think about sex. I am dating a woman who makes comments like sex is not exactly at the top of her list but she will tolerate it. We have not had sex so I haven't a clue about how she is in bed. Maybe she has just never had good sex or whatever. Are German women open enough that I could just blatantly aske her why she might not care for sex for whatever reasons? She also does not like public affection. Whe will jsut barely allow me to give her a peck in public, a french kiss would be out of the question! She will allow me to hold her hand or put my arm around her in public, but otherwise she is not affectionate at all. We have only been in public so I am not sure how she would react in private. She tells me shi is much more affectionate in the bedroom. Ideas, comments or suggestions??"

Geez, how old are you and how long have you been dating women?

ddesigns may have just been bored or trying to make conversation.

Who are you dude?