Student grants for U.S. citizens in Germany

Hello...I recently moved to Aschaffenburg, Germany to marry a beautiful girl. I do realize that learning the German language will occupy my time for about the next 6 months, but my concern is that I don't have any degrees or much work experience aside from washing dishes to pay the rent. Yeah, go ahead, call it what it is--L-O-S-E-R lol

I want to get an education and degree so that I can do something with my life than spend the rest of it sweeping floors to pay the rent. I want to get a degree and certifications so that I can make a decent living, especially since now that I have two people to care of.

Is there a way that I can get a grant so that I can go to college in either Frankfurt of Aschaffenburg and study? I know student loans are out of the questions since no one in their right mind would loan money to a foreigner...I just need to get my life on the right track so that I can be productive. Washing dishes and mopping floors is NOT the definition of being productive.

A big problem you will face in attending university in Germany is language (it would probably take you a few years to get to the point where your German is good enough for university). Also, even if your German is good enough for university study, you would have to have either a high enough SAT score, the equivalent of 30 US college credits in various subjects, or perhaps attend a Studienkolleg (maybe others will comment on this). There is a small chance a nearby public university will have a program in English, but the chances of that are very low at the bachelors level.

Here is one possibility you might be able to start with right away:

www.londonexternal.ac.uk (I am an alumnus and their programs are challenging)

You can get loans for study here in Germany (don't know the ins and outs) and look at daad.de as well.

Move to the Rhineland and attend a University in the Netherlands in english language.
Possible!

On a more serious note, you don't have to speak perfect German to study on University level,
unless you study Germanistik, philosophy or similar. I began Biology in University and my tutor was Argentinian, a permanent resident though not so perfect in German. No problem. I dropped out, he finished. Late though, but it had to do with other habits. Besides Universities there are FH's with a more practical, work related program. Maybe more suitable for you. Or you could try to apply for an apprenticeship and then do a bachelor in that field of work.

Ask your German part of the family for adice, they should help you with the little hurdles, so you can concentrate on the bigger hurdles.

Keep at it but also remember you face fierce competition particularly if you existing quals aren't superb. Your average 20 y-o German is highly educated. And many Unis here attract absurdly bright students from other parts of the world too.

I know Mainz university offers its foreign students German lessons.

DAAD has a wealth of resources at their websites (daad.org and daad.de).
Some states, including Baden-Württemberg, have their own scholarship programs as well.