Best quotes that you've heard lately

91 posts in this topic

Posted

I am just wondering what good quotes you have heard lately.

I have heard some very funny ones recently (especially from co-workers!)

Any one else?

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Posted

Physics makes us solids' bitches.

- Of Montreal

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Posted

Subject of an e-mail from a colleague mentioned that he'd brought cake in for his birthday and asking us to join in his celebration.

Let us bang again :-)

Oh how I laughed.

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Posted

my deskmate at work (which haha, coincidentally is "i love marker smell") churns out some doozies:

"Grey is my favorite color. It's right in between black and white."

Me: What do plums taste like?

ILMS: Plums grow on trees.

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Posted

My German boyfriend is always mixing up English words:

"I don't feel good, I think I have the flea" (I hope he meant flu)

After I told him that I want to marry Robbie Williams: "You're just blended by all his millions." (blinded??)

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Posted

Colleague yacking to me yesterday about a ski week-end.

"That guy is amazingly good, ski's like a penguin."

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Posted

After I told him that I want to marry Robbie Williams: "You're just blended by all his millions." (blinded??)

You make him sound like a character from 'Allo 'Allo (wasted on all non-Brits I suspect...shame)

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Posted

I have heard some very funny ones recently (especially from co-workers!)

good for you. You hadn't considered actually sharing any of the gems on a thread you set up specifically for the purpose of sharing such quotes then? ;)

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Posted

"You're just blended by all his millions." (blinded??)

no you're just bedazzled by all his millions.

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Posted

good for you. You hadn't considered actually sharing any of the gems on a thread you set up specifically for the purpose of sharing such quotes then?

Good point boomtown rat!

A Spanish co-worker was translating a German text into Spanish, a bit confused as it was regarding the famale anatomy, he asks:

Hey how long is your vagina? because it says here they should be around 4 cm? is yours 4cm?

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Posted

A non-english speaking coworker, at her going-away party, thanking the rest of us (in english) for buying the prosecco:

"I've had some good times here. Thank you for all the sex."

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Posted

@ Shelly...

Can you prove its your co worker?

I smell a rat... :unsure:

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Posted

thought this was kind of neat as I am building up for my imminent 40th birthday:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - beer in one hand - burger in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "Whooooooo what a ride!"..
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Posted

An Argentinian friend was talking about where she's from, on the coast and how wonderful it is.

Sole: "Yes, where I come from is great, it's full of virgin bitches - quite stunning. You can drive for miles and everywhere you look is virgin bitches".

We: "Pardon? Where is this magical place again? Wait, do you mean 'beaches'?"

Sole: "Ah yes, bitches full of sand you know?"

We: "Cool. Vamos a la playa."

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Posted

An old colleague of mine once said:-

If you go downhill skiing on langlauf skis you'll be walking away with broken legs

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Posted

German ex once said this to me during foreplay, "be careful, my nipples are very sensible" (in German "sensibel" means sensitive).

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Posted

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens...

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Posted

When my wife worked in London she got the job of wrapping the bottles of wine for client christmas presents one year. Her boss walks in the room and says:

"Hi, what are you doing?"

Reply "Just raping these bottles".

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Posted

We have a handsome British teacher coming over to teach German co-workers English and the secretary said to him the other day. "I will put you on top, you are the best so you deserve to be on top" She meant on the top of her calender but me and the teacher exchanged looks and we had grins on our faces.

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Posted

It's not recent but this is a good one: When George Burns was about to turn 100 and interviewer asked him to what he owed his longevity. He replied, ''to the fact that I haven't died yet''

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Posted

A friend of mine just remarked about a man: "He's very arresting...in an SS sort of way"

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Posted

my german girlfriend speaks really good english, but even she occasionally comes out with some ultra germanisms - email yesterday...

"I would book the 14th for arriving and the 17th for departure. Would u be conform with this?"

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