Hauptmieter opening my door during the night

42 posts in this topic

Posted

Last night, I woke up when the landlord opened my bedroom door. He didn't enter the room, but turned on the light of the corridor for few seconds as to see (?) if I was sleeping in my bed and left with the door open.

At first, I thought he wanted to wake me up since I've been waking up around 6am lately, but it was still 2am when I checked my mobile. I locked the door immediately, yet felt too weird to sleep through the night.

There's another male roommate in this flat, at least he respects others privacy. I want to ask the landlord why he did it, but really don't want to see his face right now. I wonder if landlord has a right to open the tenant's bedroom door in the middle of the night.

OR do you think I am just overreacting...? :(

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Posted

Does your landlord also live with you? If not, why was he even in your apartment at that time of night? I'm not really following the story.

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Posted

Well of course they can open the door - and your landlord did, last night. But the question you want an answer to is whether this is (legally) allowed. As Anne K wrote, there are any number of reasons why he might have done this.

Just to clarify:

Does your landlord actually live in your flat with you? Or do you rent a flat from him, share it with one or more other people, and your landlord turned up last night? Or is this a flatshare, where someone (who you refer to as your landlord) has sublet you one of their rooms, along with use of bath and kitchen?

Any way you look at it - no, you're not overreacting.

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Posted

why don't you buy a simple bolt lock

post-29385-13610177342147.jpeg

they cost about 5 euros

"OR do you think I am just overreacting...?" no you are not

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Posted

I simply cannot fathom living with people that you have ZERO rapport with.

Such that you could not simply ask, "hey, why did you open my door?" or worse, whose face you can't stand the idea of seeing. Or worse yet, so bad that you could not simply say "please don't do that again" instead of looking for legal grounds for broaching the subject, and/or making your bedroom door as secure as a NYC apartment (you need at least 5 locks - 3 deadbolts, a slide bolt, and a chain. Please don't count the pathetic, vestigal "lock" on the door knob itself. If you're really worried, you'll also invest in one of those iron bars that wedge between the door and a notch in the floor. is there an official name for those?)

if I misunderstood and this person doesn't actually live with you then I offer a hearty WTF? And no, that's definitely not right.

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Posted

This is so strange. OP please do provide more details. As others mentioned, legal or not what in the world a landlord was doing there?

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Posted

The next time what you do is kick him in the nuts, OK? And no, you're NOT overreacting.

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Posted

Does your landlord also live with you? If not, why was he even in your apartment at that time of night? I'm not really following the story.

The word Hauptmeiter and landlord is causing a bit of confusion! May be he was bloody drunk (friday night drinking?)

be safe!

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Posted

That is really freaking shady. I would probs move out if I were you!

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Posted

Hi, thank you all for your comments.

I just talked with my roommate and landlord (I mean "Hauptmeiter", yeah, thank you for editing the title!) now. Neither of them admitted. They don't think they do sleep walking. I even asked my roommate if he had any guests that night, but he said no. I don't mix up my dreams with reality.

WHO WAS THAT THEN???

Anyway, I do lock my bedroom door from now on.

Thank you again and have a nice Sunday...!

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Posted

The sooner you discuss this with the Landlord the better, do this with the other tenant present. Try to be neutral about it, its quite possible that there is a reasonable explanation, but if a good explanation is not coming then you need to think about where you are living.

Trust your gut feeling, if you think something is not right then its time to move on.

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Posted

You really might have been dreaming. Like last night, when I had hot monkey sex with Kate Upton.

( o )BPBPBPBPBP( o )

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Posted

EDIT: Missed the part where you already spoke to the people in your home. Well, do what you most feel comfortable with. If you are sure you weren't dreaming, then you're living with a liar or a sleepwalker. Or both.

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Posted

I don't understand why you didn't say anything at the time? If someone opened my bedroom door in the middle of the night, my first thought would be "what are you doing?/what do you want?", and in a startled/half asleep state I would say exactly that, not wonder about it for the rest of the night and next few days.

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Posted

I disagree, imnop. When you're only half awake, you're hardly in the position to say much. I had a similar thing happen once, where the "Hauptmieter" (ok, owner in my case, but similar power relation) closed my windows from the outside while I was daydreaming. She thought I wasn't there. I was alert enough to see it happening, but I only said something later that day.

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Posted

I heard about a similar incident in the UK where a friend of mine was lodging with a landlord about the same age who drunk heavily. In the early hours one night, the drunken landlord came home and got into the wrong bed, so my friend had a nasty surprise awakening only to find his landlord in bed with him. Fortunately, they were kind of friends before hand but not sure if they are now.

* * * *

Although, I have had some quite erry things happen to me when lodging. The landlord used to pee into the toilet with the door open and then leave without flushing the toilet so the smell of stale piss would waft into our rooms. What was going on in the landlords head is still a mystery, I mean he could have asked us to leave if he didn't want us there. I was also almost prosecuted by the TV licencing company because I answered the door when the TV licencing people came around and collared me (although the landlord said he had a TV licence). Fortunately for me, his brother had just bought the house and had a TV licence. So within a month we had a normal landlord again. We all moved out after though and rented our own flats. Living with screw-ups isn't very desirable.

* * * *

So compared to what I've written above, opening the door in the early hours isn't so bad ;) Perhaps you should have got up and asked him at the time if there was a problem and cleared it up straight away...

These things are unnerving, but from what I've written above, probably not uncommon.

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Posted

When you're only half awake, you're hardly in the position to say much.

^^ This. Had a similar situation happen to me with a roommate's boyfriend. I was so out of it I couldn't do more than register that he was there at the door looking in. And it was definitely not an accident. So, so glad that she moved out a short time later. They both were a bit of a nightmare. Not sure what I would have done if they hadn't moved out. I probably would have.

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Posted

But I still don't get it.

Yes I would think it was weird if someone opened my door in the middle of the night, but unless I had some reason to fear the person already, I would not think that much of it, aside from asking, AT THE TIME, "what is going on?" and depending on the answer, adding a "please don't do that".

It seems you feel intimidated or somehow fearful - is there more to this story? And how long have you lived with these guys - are you still in the "getting to know you" phase?

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Posted (edited)

I don't understand why you didn't say anything at the time? If someone opened my bedroom door in the middle of the night, my first thought would be "what are you doing?/what do you want?", and in a startled/half asleep state I would say exactly that, not wonder about it for the rest of the night and next few days.

I guess she was in shock that a gentleman opened up her room in the middle of the night... which is indeed a scary situation!

So, to sum up, this is WG with three people, the Hauptmieter, another bloke and the (female) OP.

Someone male and unidentified opened the OPs door at night and peered in. Neither of the male tenants will admit to having done this, which makes the possible motivation for it very shady indeed. It could, at a stretch, have been a male visitor who didnt know the flat and opened your door by mistake, but then they would have to be the guest of one of the others.

If, for whatever reason, you want to stay in the flat (and personally, I'd think long and hard about that) I would sit down with both the other tenants and let them know that this is not, under any circumstances, acceptable and that you are going to lock your door. Then have a lock installed that can be locked from the inside and outside (if someone is sniffing around you can be sure they'll enter your room when youre not there) and make sure the Hauptmieter pays for it. Dont trust any pre-installed locks because the Hauptmieter may have a second key to those...

If the door has a simple "Buntbart" lock, you can get a key for that for basic security and get little inserts for them that require another (more secure) key to remove the insert and allow the main key to be inserted - You need two keys to open the door but the advantage is that they dont need to be installed and will certainly keep out any but the most determined infiltrators.

I have the experience of living in WG and I know it can be challenging to move. Especially if you like the flat and also finding a decent place in Berlin. This is a great suggestion from Pog. I would do the same if I were you OP.

How long have you been living there? Do you find your flat mates nice. More importantly, do you think talking to them as suggested by Pog will help? In the end listen to your gut feeling.

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Posted

I don't know about the OP, but I guess that I was in deep REM sleep when it happened. I literally couldn't move a muscle, nor were my brain cells working well. Hopefully, if there had been danger, I would have woken up more.

I think that a lot of (most?) women would feel uncomfortable with a man opening their bedroom door. Unless invited in or we're sharing the room, why would they? I can't even imagine a close friend doing that, so it would freak me out if one of them did. Most people I know knock.

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Posted

Bedroom is a very private place, at least to me. I would not appreciate anyone coming in unless been invited or would open the bedroom door, even during day, without knocking.

To me the current situation appears to be either a drunk flat mate not remembering anything what happened or trying to hide the mistake. In my opinion, the best thing is to talk about it, again as Pog suggested!

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