New to Berlin, looking for friends

110 posts in this topic

Posted

Hi everyone,

I am not new to Berlin, been here a few years, but due to the nature of my job, I haven't really managed to find many friends. I have a couple of friends but none of them know each other and it's starting to get me down. I went home to Ireland for Christmas and after spending a week sat in pubs laughing all night long with a big bunch of like-minded people, I realised how much I miss having a great bunch of friends around me. I have found it quite difficult here in Berlin, perhaps because I was in a relationship for the first few years but since that ended, I find myself spending more time at home at the weekends, even when I would love to go out. I am a friendly, sociable, intelligent person, but for some reason I just haven't found the right people here in Berlin. Anyone else in the same position? I know there are Toytown meet-ups quite often, but I am really shy with new groups of people and the thought of walking in somewhere alone to meet a random bunch of people is the stuff of nightmares for me.

I am in my early thirties, female, well-educated and I think an interesting, funny, intelligent person. I really want to meet some new friends that will stop me missing home so much and make my life here a bit more easier and happier. Anyone else the same? If so, please get in touch!!!

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Posted

hey, try www.couchsurfing.com

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Posted

It can happen to anybody. Sometimes work and a relationship are all one has the time for..

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Posted

It´s not "friends" you are looking for, but like-minded people in the first instance.

A friend isn´t just something you pick up over the internet, like a pair of shoes, but it is a relationship, based upon shared interests, trust and liking.

Take Katheliz' advice and go along to some of the meetings, where I hope you will find some like-minded people who might even turn into friends at some stage.

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Posted

hey! I have also just experienced the Christmas hit of home in England and feeling it too. I'm in a similar situation I don't yet find myself with the language skills to make friends in German yet and I also get very nervous with big groups of people. I was thinking of going to my first Toytown event on Thursday (the Thursday night drinks at a random venue) if you wanted we could meet an hour or so before in a bar and go on from there together? might take the stress out of it a bit? and you'd also be helping me out too!

amy :)

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Posted

I am well aware that friends are not something you pick up over the internet (although I know of people who have picked up much worse over the internet), but yes perhaps I am looking for like-minded people in the first instance. I just really miss my friends and as a normally sociable, happy person I am finding the lack of social life here particularly hard. I have lived here for a few years now, my job contract is for another year and a half, and the thought of being here in this brilliant city with not many people to enjoy it with, is horrible.

Amy - I would really like to meet you! I cannot do this Thursday but maybe the Thursday after?

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Posted

Hi, I suggest try wandering into the Another Country Bookshop (Riemannstr. 7, 10961) on Friday. They have an evening meal get together every friday. It's a really relaxed atmosphere where you can get to know the crowd a couple of people at a time. My girlfriend and I are both Irish and we're there most Fridays for a while and the people behind the desk, Sophie and Kim, are really nice. D.

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Posted

yes that would be great! or there is even a meet up that is being discussed in pankow on Sundays but I do not know how long that will take to materialise, so next Thursday? I'll write it in my diary I'm still a bit new to the area but hopefully I can use my best friend google to come up with a nearish bar and I'll message you the details :) look forward to it :)

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Posted

Hallo Parkedlife,

it seems to me you have a bit of culture shock. The Irish are very friendly and everytime I go there I have no trouble meeting people and having a good time. The hospitality of the Irish is well known. This is not quite the case in Germany. The Germans are more naturally reserved and it takes foreigners MUCH longer to really get to know them. Bear this in mind.

I help organize Thursday night drinks and we are a really friendly bunch so keep an eye on that thread. We look forward to seeing you there soon. It can be the spring board for good friendships

Colin

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Posted

Hey parkedlife.I know how much it sucks.Been there.So,I can give some advice from experience.

first thing,have get together with your friends you already have .so that they get to know each other.who knows,some of you may become a team..

go out.Yes,start going out as much as you can..the more you remain inside ,the more u'll feel it...Now,best way to go out is to know abotu different activities going on around.

1)couchsurfing.org. (good to know about parties,hangout or anything and friendly people).

2)keep an eye on outdoor activities that interest you from meetup.com or from here too.

Most important:Do not expect that people will start behaving like friends as soon as you meet someone.a lot of people do but u'll just meet and would never see a lot again maybe.

So,if you feel like u clicked with someone,Do ask for number outright or something(facebook) if you feel hesitating for asking number to keep intouch.ask them next for some outing or chilling at a cafe and hope for the best..If you feel ,it maybe odd and giving signals which you don't want(to guys specifically),bring 1-2 friends as well..

Try new things:

Board games...parties...hiking...cooking..potluck..card games...movies..reading books..whatever..Do already what you love with them. and taste new things as well.You never know when start having a new hobby..It will break the barriers.

And above all:If you won't take initiative to do something ,you are doomed for loneliness if you are not lucky.If you do,atleast you will get better in meeting and opening up :)

My background:I always had friends from school and college..So,it was hard for me too.

But I am evolving in the sense,that I am getting more accustomed of citylife :)

All the best

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Posted

Thanks for all the responses - I feel better already!

Amy, yes next Thursday would be great! I will PM you later to arrange when and where.

That Another Country place sounds good - I have just asked a colleague if she would like to go with me, we might go this Friday.

I kow I'm not just going to find a new bunch of friends in an instant over the internet, but even one good friend could change everything. I know that going out and being sociable is the best way to meet people, but I the few friends I have here are busy, I would feel strange as a gril going out to a bar on my own. And probably very, very lonely.

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Posted

ps - I am not a gril (the last time I checked) but rather a girl....:)

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Posted

Hallo again parkedlife,

think about going to a DECENT Irish pub. I can recommend Molly Malones as it is run by a jovial Irishman who can chat to everyone in the pub while pouring 10 pints of beer. It is small and cosy and easy to meet people.

A small home from home.

Colin

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Posted

Somehow,I am very tempted personally to take colin's irish advice :P for nice try out in irish bars :)

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Posted

I have never heard of Molly Malones so thanks for that Colin. I normally try to stay clear of Irish bars, but the fact is, they are usually quite fun and with good music. Plus, I absolutely love going to pubs, which there are not many of here. If anyone is up for checking out Molly Malones next weekend then let me know! Friday suits me best.

Again, thanks so much for the responses.

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Posted

oops, I meant Saturday of next week...the 26th. You on for a bit of Irish joviality?

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Posted

yeah...I always keep looking for excuses to go out :P ..

now a days I keep a good eye for free punk concerts..they are fun if you are into dancing irrespective of music and don't have much money to spend on expensive clubs... This week,I plan to be out every night/evening almost :)

keep it posted if you are free before too..I'll be happy to join you guys and happy to tag along for meetups/parties or anything where u feel shy in future...

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Posted

Yes!!! Being Irish I also love the Irish, and Guinness. Not too keen on the Cranberries though!

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Posted

Hi Parkedlife, same situation here, we can meet anytime for a drink or coffee. Weekends are very boring indeed especially Sundays :/

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Posted

Hi James - yes come and join us!

Jenjen - why don"t you come too?

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Posted

on 26th? thanks for the invite, might come by :-)

I think this Friday I will go to the first TT event for me, its about metal music crawl, if you like that kind of music.

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