Doubting Thomas' over depression

45 posts in this topic

Posted

Totally agree but the problem is the wind up merchants create an atmosphere of distrust and it is very possible people genuinly in need of help don't get it.

 

Wum's probably do need some guidance but they won't get it from an internet site like this, where as it has been known to save people's lives when they are depressed.

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Posted

"Remember - even the worst Black Dog Day will pass!"

 

- is probably one of the most important messages from the video - apart from "don´t be afraid to ask for help!"

 

@ Humphs - I sort of know what you mean, but I can see both sides of the coin here - last year we literally had one-after-another sob stories on TT, but strangely nobody, except for one Mod, seemed to be able to make real life contact to the OPs. It does rather make one wonder, y'know?

On the other hand, assuming that all stories were 100% true, the OPs needed far more help than the TT crowd could have given them - and in real life!

 

Generally speaking, TT is a great place to find help and support, but there are cases that cannot be helped on an open chat forum, and simply by the fact that it is an "open" chat forum, everybody has the same rights to post something, whether in support of the OP or against...

 

Pas is right - TT has saved lives and helped keep some people sane, and I sincerely hope it will continue to do so in the future!

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Posted

Humphs: I took the liberty of linking it into our thread slightly better. It is a very informative video.

 

 

 

I'd add from experience that if anyone has the blues - and following Christmas this is the worst time of the year for it, if not Christmas itself - that anyone who has the blues ought to STAY OFF THE DRINK. Given Sausageland is famous for its beer consumption, this perhaps the hardest thing to accomplish.

 

The other thing is to eat well - that means for some learning to cook - I recommend Jamie's "Ministry of Food" book or website, and getting out and moving. I can't wait to get back to my gym next week.

 

imho the quality of mental health provision in this country is virtually non-existent. This website has helped a lot in need.

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Posted

I was in that black hole this time last year, and I didn't waste any time posting about it here and asking friends and strangers for help or sympathy. The catch is realizing that you are slipping into depression (that sounds so comfortable, but actually you are shooting down a steep slide full of thorns and rocks with no idea how long the ride will last nor what awaits you at the bottom). The next step is being able to speak to a doctor about it and getting professional help. Learn to face your fears or they will overpower you. Medication helped, be careful with it but don't refuse it categorically.

 

The long, spun-out, escalating dramas, generally by newbies, with repeated appeals for support while disregarding valid advice were becoming a bit too frequent for comfort, while poppet's hard-luck story came to an abrupt and tragic end before he could follow the advice provided in public and in telephone conversations.

 

It depends a lot on your standing and credibility as a member.

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Posted

Therapists? I never even got one. I went to my doctor in May last year and clearly told her I was in definite need of help and she said she'd find me one. I never heard another word.

 

In the meantime I drank myself to a stupour and fell off my bike breaking 3 ribs in the process. I kept openly saying I couldn't cope and noone listened, even my nearest and dearest. What I had was grief, for my mother who died. Noone helped me at all.

 

The only support I had funnily enough was here, from wonderful TTers (you all know who you are) who keep in touch via the odd PM and even send me fantastic stuff (one awesome lady recently posted me some books). So you know who you are. Some of the older TTers in longer trousers will know I used to be a huge contributor to this site during my darkest loneliest days as an at home Dad long before gyms and bikes came into my life. I like to think they had my back. I'm talking about 2007 before John.G (the life and soul of our community), and Jaycool (who always entertains me) came upon the scene here.

 

Was watching John Bishop on New Years Eve/Day, describing early parenthood along the lines of getting out of bed, making breakfast, cleaning up mess after mess then getting into bed at night saying "What the fuck was that?" :) I was in stitches at the truth of that comment.

 

Thank you to the individual stars of TT and all the rest. May we keep supporting each other.

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Posted

 

the op was basically accused of being a wind-up merchant .

 

Shocking.

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Posted

 

It kind of reads like you're suggesting the whole system is rubbish because of one bad experience with your doctor? I hope that isn't the case as it may disuade people from getting the help they need.

 

falsely understood old chap. The comment on German mental health wasn't mine, rather it came from Lakey, one of our TTers who I used to chat with over the phone often as she went through grief and somehow here fell through the floorboards.

 

I also heard on antenne Bayern that they estimate 40% of people in Bayern have some form of mental problems, yet there doesn't seem to be the support here. All I got was "You're rich you have everything" (I'm not). Germans imho seem to view any form of depression as "veakness". Look how shocked everyone was at the suicide of that footballer Robert Encke. The Black Dog can hit anyone, it is very democratic.

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Posted

I read an interesrting article in the Spiegel recently about children of mentally ill parents. This interested me as my husband's nephew and his wife ar both severely depressed and there is no-one really available to look after their six-year-old. My husband even suggested that it wasn't too late for us to bring up another child. In the article, some professional said that you have no choice about being ill, but do have a choice about how you cope - ie seeking help, taking your medication, etc. This I find interesting as I have always thought that part of the fact of being mentally ill is that you don't have a choice, you need help but aren't in a position to ask for or accept it. This seems to bear out SaraBird's view, though.

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Posted

By all means, talk to people.. but beyond acknowledgement and understanding, preferably about something other than depression itself. Excercise.. even if it's aimless walks. But expensive shrinks week after week, month after month etc.. waste of money. They operate on the mostly flawed assumption that problems always need to be worked through, when in reality what is generally more helpful is a "work-around".. do something else, think something else, go someplace else. Though I am not advocated running from all problems.. just not dwelling on them endlessly. Sometimes minds can be a like a broken record.. playing the same thoughts over and over.

 

Some movies exploring depression lately that I've found interesting though not necessarily therapeutic are:

 

Everything Must Go

500 Days of Summer

The Beaver

 

and not so recent

Mumford

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Posted

...and something I will whole heartedly repeat until I get accused to being a broken record is to stay off the drink when you are down. Check in to our now one-year-old "Life without alcohol" thread. It wasn't started by me rather I give Schotte the credit for it, yet it helped me to sort myself out. I was one of those who'd drink, not dramatic like someone on vodka for breakfast, yet it got out of hand with me. I also wasn't really depressed, just needed support to cope with grief. However the alcohol tipped me over the edge into self-injury. I had only one glass of wine over the whole Christmas period, so I am pretty much sorted out now.

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Posted

To each their own vice. Sometimes alcohol can get people out talking to real people and away from the computer and the Latina porn!

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Posted

 

Some of the hurtful comments on the TT threads are truly shocking and not at all helpful for someone seeking support and help and can ruin the already good and gentle build up and support of so many other sympathetic posters on these threads. It takes patience and baby steps to nudge someone in that situation towards getting concrete help.

 

Hear hear. I missed the particular thread / post in question, but I was, for example, shocked that there were so many ppl doubting neverwinter's story. It was sooo clear from her writing that she was someone who had just escaped a very abusive relationship that had left her with zero self-confidence, zero sense of self even.

 

And there was a mod who was a little offended at neverwinter not having taken her up on the offer of personal contact. In a case like that, we all have to forget about our own egos and recognise that posting anonymously is the safest thing for the sufferer. This means that most ppl will post under a pseudonym. They might make mention of the fact that they are a longstanding tt member, but (we've been here before), would poppet have had any of the support he got if he had decided to go the anonymous route? (I know none of the support helped in the long run, but it certainly did make a BIG difference all the same).

 

The point is, it's a million times better posting a message of support, or details of help avaialable, etc, to someone who is just messing, than to post nasty, doubting stuff in a reply to someone who is seriously suffering.

 

Why do you think there are things like Telefonseelsorge? Not only because you can ring them in the middle of the night (the worst time for someone suffering from depression, and yet the very time when no other support network is available), but also because it's anonymous, and you can openly admit how you are feeling.

 

Thanks for the video, OP (Humph?), it's very well done & I guess it's something that everyone should watch.

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Posted

I don't really think we can know what's the truth and what isn't when people post about their struggles with depression, regardless of whether they are a newbie, a regular, or just someone posting under a false id. I am however inclined to think that most people who decide to post something are looking for some kind of help, even if the details aren't 100% right.

I think we all handle things differently. Some people like to make a big production when things aren't going well for them, while others say nothing at all. I don't think there is anything wrong with people posting their problems - it somehow reminds me that we are all humans and that we all struggle at times - and at the same time, our kind words through posts or private messages might mean a lot to someone who is in need of a little support.

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