Why are couples so mean to single people?

101 posts in this topic

Posted

A friend just posted this BBC article on his FB: Viewpoint: Why are couples so mean to single people?

 

It is interesting observing comments pouring in from his (mostly) European contacts, on how they're constantly nagged, questioned or judged for being single.

 

I'm myself freshly single and having a hard time here. Well, but then it's halt India & very easy to be judged if you're single (esp. female) by the time you're over 25 years. However I never imagined it to be similar in Europe or western societies?!

 

Now I'm even more curious after reading that FB post and comments on my newsfeed for this article. Do single people get judged anywhere in the world? Why?

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Posted

Good points, Leon! I must add, though , that in some parts of the world eg chez aqua minie and the place I know best - Indonesia - there can be extreme behaviour on the streets such as complete strangers in the street calling out at you " where´s your wife " ?.." where´s your husband ?"..and " where are you going ?"

It happened to me every day over a period of 18 months! :D

 

THAT took some getting used to!!!

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Posted

Isn´t it the OPPOSITE of that, mlovett? :D

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Posted

 

My answer would be "not having to shag the same person for the rest of my life."

 

We need to have a talk about the birds and the bees...

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Posted

I am single... and I am as mean as the next fucker! :lol:

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Posted

Don´t forget the flowers and the trees, MrNosey! ( I´m showing my age..oh dear..)!

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Posted

 

Isn´t it the OPPOSITE of that, mlovett?

 

He was asked what one lives for when SINGLE. When not married, you are not morally obligated to shag only one person. That's what I meant, just to make it more confusing. :P

 

 

We need to have a talk about the birds and the bees...

 

Does it have anything to do with jewelry?

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Posted

 

Does it have anything to do with jewelry?

 

Pearl necklace? maybe?

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Posted

I guess everyone thinks they have found the "perfect" way of life be it religous or in partnership.

 

I am drunk on dirt cheep good beer in Dresden though, so you might not want to consider my comment informative.

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Posted

I didn't even know this was a thing until a long-term single friend told me, then a few years later another friend mentioned it too... (I should add this wasn't them complaining that I discriminated against them ;) )

 

Really bizarre but clearly it happens, same way that sometimes people with children judge those without. It's like a weird lack of imagination; surely it's more interesting to have friends with a wide range of different life-paths.

 

Oh and for the original Q as to whether it's world wide, I heard about this in England and in Germany.

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Posted

In the US it is more a who cares, it is your life do as you want.

 

I am married, but have allot of friends that are not in their upper 30's and early 40's. It is just simply their choice.

 

But seeing that link, I am surprised to see that in Western Europe. Figure that it would be more socially accepting of what some one want to do with their lives.

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Posted

This isn't something I ever experience from friends. I do get it at extended family gatherings- those nauseatingly boring affairs where everyone asks the same boring questions - though I always assumed the questions being boring was related to a generational gap and the fact that the life I lead is vastly different to what was available to my aunts and uncles in the 50s/60s.

 

I prefer to keep my own apartment even when in relationships. Co-habiting just isnt something I enjoy. I do get quite a few questions from friends about that.

 

What I do notice though is the trend of insecure "just became single and I can't cope with it" friends. I call these rare people ISICCs (Insecure+ Single= I cant cope.) They exhibit the same characteristics every time. They get in touch with friends they neglected over the years while they were in their relationship, then display urgent needs to hang out and be best buddies (because they can't cope with their recently found independence). They take up a lot of your time, let you invest time in the friendship and then as soon as the new partner comes along they drop you like a bad smell. Whenever I think I have a friend like this, I run like the wind. For me, good friendship has nothing to do with the marital or relationship status of a person. Good friends make time for each other when they can.

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Posted

Wow. I would say it is completely the other way.

 

Can't imagine how many selfish self-centered people have no issue telling me that my kids should not be allowed in the outside world until they are adult, that singles own the world and that socialization and community should not be allowed. That children crying should be outlawed, that the concept of having a community with all ages and singles or coupled is not necessary. That making plans with those who have kids is too much trouble, that planning ahead rather than always spontaneously making plans is an imposition (thereby allowing no chance to find a babysitter).

 

Couples/ folks with kids are constantly being pissed on by the footloose, spontaneous and child-free..

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Posted

Nobody likes a prime number. Nobody.

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