Can I throw my ex-boyfriend's things on the street

55 posts in this topic

Posted

Hi. I have had a pretty much horrible relationship with my now-ex boyfriend. He has left some things at my apartment(mostly clothing), but since he proved himself to be such a lying cheating piece of shit, I want to leave all these things outside with a sign in German that says 'Please take me.' Would this be legal?

Normally I would be all about a chance to come collect his things but he has been such an asshole for nearly 2 years that I am not really feeling that charitable. Thanks for any info you can give.

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Posted

Maybe just dangle them from a rope on your balcony with a picture of his lying, cheating ass in the neck hole of his shirts. But it does sound like your taking this well.dry.gif

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Posted

Isn't there such a thing as sending a package all costs paid by the recipient? Forget what it is called, but I did that with a computer once that was going to the insurance claim dept. after it got fried during a power surge.

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Posted

That's a good plan. Just tell him to come by when you aren't there or leave the box where he can pick it up.

The hurt will pass and the next one will be a winner. You have to kiss a lot of frogs...

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Posted

Probably the best thing to do. Good luck.

I was going to suggest the possibility to drop the stuff off at a friend's place and have him pick it up there if you don't feel you can meet eye to eye, but it's definately better just to set a time limit and have him pick it up. No need to cause any further irritation unless you feel threatened by him or something.

Isn't there such a thing as sending a package all costs paid by the recipient?

I doubt it. You can't possibly legally force someone to pay for recieving something they didn't ask for. Possibly with order firms or so, but not provate people.

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Posted

You can send it "Unfrei", and the recipient has to pay 15 Euros to receive the package, but obviously you can't force him to pay it, if he refuses it comes back to you, the sender, and YOU have to pay the 15 Euros.

(Info: 15 Euros for package up to 120 x 60 x 60 and up to 31.5 kg)

Edit: with DHL/Deutsche Post.

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Posted

Isn't there such a thing as sending a package all costs paid by the recipient?

Yes, there is. It's called "Unfrei" and you can book it at DHL.

The only danger is that if he doesn't accept it or pick it up, the package is returned to you and you are obliged to pay all the charges (the cost of the package plus €15.00 for the "Unfrei").

EDIT: Oh, snap, martinamr

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Posted

Just out of interest, is Unfrei the same thing as per Nachnahme?

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Posted

the package is returned to you and you are obliged to pay all the charges (the cost of the package plus €15.00 for the "Unfrei").

Only if they've changed something recently, the last I knew you (the sender) only had to pay 15 Euros, not 15 plus "the cost of the package".

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Posted

Yes, that is it! Unfrei! I really could not think of the word.

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Posted

Westvan: no, with per Nachnahme you have to pay for the postage, but can of course add the postage costs to whatever charges you are asking the recipient to pay.

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Posted

It seems to me that if you gave your ex a heads up that you are dropping his stuff in the mail with the "unfrei" service (pretty sure that one is tracked automatically, if not you'd obvioulsy want to ask for it) and he refuses to accept the package, then you should feel free to dispose of it in the next Kleidersammlung box, no?

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Posted

@ fromNYC: Sorry to hear of what you've gone through... and glad to hear that you've calmed down a bit. Can't add to the excellent advice you've been given - except to emphasize that a registered letter is the way to go if you want to be on the safe (legal) side of things.

Be proud that you have a solid footing here, and got there by your own efforts. The hurt will pass, take time to grieve a bit, but then square your shoulders and, having learned from this, go on. And yes, I can testify, sometimes you have to kiss a lot of frogs...

post-121019-13520282780513.jpg

This frog was my present to my sister for her 39th birthday... she loves frogs, and had kissed her share of the human kind too. :)

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Posted

You can send it "Unfrei", and the recipient has to pay 15 Euros to receive the package, but obviously you can't force him to pay it, if he refuses it comes back to you, the sender, and YOU have to pay the 15 Euros.

Ah OK. Thanks for the info.

Just out of interest, is Unfrei the same thing as per Nachnahme?

Not quite. Nachnahme is a way to pay for the ordered goods when you recieve them, as opposed to paying a bill by other payment options. Unfrei only includes the postage.

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Posted

Only if they've changed something recently, the last I knew you (the sender) only had to pay 15 Euros, not 15 plus "the cost of the package".

The DHL website says this (my bold):

Verweigert der Empfänger jedoch die Zahlung (und somit die Annahme des Paketes), wird Ihr Paket an Sie zurückgesandt und Sie bleiben zur Zahlung der Versandkosten verpflichtet.

I took "Versandkosten" to include everything, not just the Unfrei part.

A crafty individual could avoid this by specifying an incorrect return address. Of course this means the package might then be irretrievably lost if the recipient refused to collect, which could expose the OP to more trouble for chucking his stuff without permission.

So a letter telling him to pick up his crap by a certain date, with the threat of charging for storage and or disposal subsequently, would probably be the safest way to go.

EDIT: Just realized that DHL page is also available in English. The service is called "Postage not paid" in English. The consequences of non-delivery are described as follows:

If the recipient refuses payment (and therefore acceptance of the parcel), the parcel will be returned to you and you will be obliged to pay the delivery costs.

Again, "delivery costs", which I presume includes the price of sending the parcel as well.

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Posted

A crafty individual could list the ex-boyfriend as both the sender AND the recipient.

I used to work in a Postagentur and I swear I wouldn't have noticed if they were identical ;)

Edit: delivery costs: nah, it's semantics, if it's returned you pay the 15 Euros and that's it, not 15 Euros plus something.

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Posted

Hi everyone! Thanks for the replies. After I have calmed down a bit, I will text him telling him to pick up his stuff, and set a date by which it must be done. I don't think seeing him right now is a good idea for either of us.

Thinking out loud:

Is texting a good point to start from should OP's dastardly ex not reply, OP dispose of his stuff and then get a nasty legal surprise? I know that registered letters are the way to go with landlords etc but seem quite formal for a situation with an ex involving some clothing rather than a hypothetical three kids and a mortgage. Would a text have the same legal standing? How about email with a notification when it's been read as a legally standing, still friendly alternative?

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Posted

El Jeffo: that's even better :-)

Recipient: Jack Jones at home

Sender: J. Jones at work, written a bit sloppily ;)

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