Going out alone to a bar

80 posts in this topic

Posted

Hi all,

I am new to Toytown and just immigrated to Germany a few days ago. I am here alone without knowing anyone, so a good way to get to know some people is to go out. I am not familiar at all with the German culture and their way of thinking, so I wanted to ask: Is it OK in Germany to go out alone in a bar or something like that, or will people think you are weird/antisocial/pathetic, etc.? Thank you

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Do not worry, Niemand - it´s normal here. You are not weird or antisocial. Why should you be? Don´t you go to tavernas in Greece?

Just a point: your Toytown name Niemand suggests you may feel unworthy.. I´m probably and hopefully wrong.

Be yourself, be happy and get chatting to people in a bar...lots to talk about at the moment!

You´ll be fine if you will be sociable, friendly etc.

I don´t know where you´re living but check out the Toytown gatherings in your town and make friends.

Best wishes

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Thanks john g. The reason I'm asking is because in my country sometimes is a little strange if someone goes out alone (some other times people don't care.It depends on the place (restaurant,bar) and if u r living in a city or not I guess.) The nickname is just the first German word that came to mind. I will check the Toytown gatherings as you suggested. Thanks again

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Niemand: I and my girlfriend go to Greece a couple of times a year and love it. I think the problem is in smaller places for women to go alone but that´s in really small old-fashioned villages, where the old widows dressed in black go to the cemetery every day...my girlfriend and I go to Crete and know such villages!

PS: can´t wait to go back there next Spring: we love it.

But now it´s time for you to sort out your life here and I hope you have work! And you need to get started on German lessons..maybe a bit difficult.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

john g. I know what u r talking about. Glad u like Greece.

I m on a trial period ("Probezeit"). We ll see how it will go. I know German on an intermediate level (almost B2), I hope I' ll improve it with the daily practice, which I cannot avoid.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Go out alone...

90% of the germans are also single...

Sdly th 1s tht rnt dnt spk txt spk..

So, you go in alone... you go home alone... Suppose just like back home!

-23

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

There is a long and distinguished list of users of pseudonyms based on nobody: Edgar Allen Poe used Outis, as did several others; there's Captain Nemo, Little Nemo, a fish called Nemo (him that had to be found), Dutch author Nescio, il Cowboy Nessuno, ... I'm sure the list is quite endles, so ironically, you're not alone :)

2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

I think it depends on the type of pub though. German pubs can be pretty formal, with everyone sat at their own table. Many pubs are considered "full" if all the tables are taken. An Irish-style pub is better for mingling, sitting at the bar, watching the football, etc. I don't have a problem going to that kind of place on my own to watch the football, but I'd never go alone to a "regular" German pub.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

An Irish-style pub is better for mingling, sitting at the bar, watching the football, etc. I don't have a problem going to that kind of place on my own to watch the football, but I'd never go alone to a "regular" German pub.

I was going to suggest an Irish Pub too, I would imagine it quite hard to mingle with strangers in other pubs.

As a female, I would normally never go out on my own, but one Hallowe'en (quite fitting that today is also Hallowe'en ;) ) I wanted to go out to a party in an Irish Pub, but neither my husband or any of my friends wanted to go out as they had work the next day. Anyway, the hubby told me I should go on out on my own if I really wanted to party, I wasn't too keen on the idea, not because I didn't feel safe, but because I thought I'd be stuck on my own the whole night like an eejit, but I thought feck it, why not, if it's no fun I can always leave, to cut a long story short, I had so much fun and met so many new people that I didn't get home until 6 am the next morning.

Maybe this is a little different because it was a party, but I have never gone our to an Irish Pub and not ended up chatting to new people.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Given how it´s pretty normal to have "shared" tables here in Germany where people start chatting together (wheres it´s not common at all in Italy), I think if you, as a foreigner, go out alone in a relatively full bar you will quickly meet people. I´ve been alone twice to a German "Kneipe" and in both cases I spent my time there chatting with my table-neighbors.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

When two groups share a table then conversation can start up between them, but if I'm in a pub with a friend and a random stranger sits down on his own at our table and tries to involve himself in our conversation then I will kindly tell him to fuck off.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Okay, when it´s just two people it´d be weird, but if you sit besides a group of 5-6 people then it can generally happen.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

I go out alone and when I get back there's someone already there :lol:

Somehow that seems scary and nice at the same time...

3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Where are you located?

Try "Griechische Gemeinde"+"your town" to check if there is a greek community near your place.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

I think you must be going to the wrong bars or have a face like a slapped arse smile.gif This is not my experience at all.

Ouch!!!

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

I've been planning on moving to Germany for a couple months now, and will move there for a year. I haven't figured out where abouts in Germany I want to live, as I am a 22 yr old Canadian guy who wants to experience the German life for a bit.

I've been thinking Dortmund, Hamburg or Munich. Not too sure yet. But anyway, getting back to the topic at hand, I pretty much had the same question as the OP. I speak little German, and I'm learning now (I have trusty rosetta stone). Best place to meet people is I take it, Pubs? I don't expect people to speak English as I am in their country! But anyway, I assume pubs are the best place to go? I can't really think of other places at the moment where you can meet people socially. Often thought about joining a recreational soccer team, but maybe I'm getting a bit far ahead of myself.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

i miss the freedom of going out alone! when i was single back in singapore i loved going out on impulse to cafes, libraries, cinemas, shops, all by myself. sometimes you meet strangers and strike up new friendship, some other times you meet really strange people :D i don't drink so i don't go to bars on purpose, but on the occassions when i 'fell into' a bar/club as part of a group, there were always people who were by themselves, striking up conversations with us or with other people. it's nothing weird, man.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Is it OK in Germany to go out alone in a bar or something like that[?]

'course it is.

will people think you are weird/antisocial/pathetic, etc.?

maybe, sure. Certainly at least one person will think those things; most probably won't even notice, much less give it a second thought.

That said, who gives a shit? I used to go out by myself all the time in my hometown and met tons of people that way. It never occurred to me to think of going out alone as weird/pathetic etc until someone would ask what I did last night and they'd ask who with, and I'd say, oh I went alone, and they'd visibly recoil at the very thought (as if I'd said, oh, I just picked up a couple of hitchhikers off the interstate and took them back to my place where we had some basic unprotected sex). OMG, eat dinner, in a restaurant, by YOURSELF? Go out to a movie, have a coffee, go to a bar, ALONE? Oh, they could never do that. No real reasons ever given, probably because the only thing more "pathetic" than going out by yourself is admitting you give a shit whether or not total strangers think you're there because you have no friends.

So don't bother yourself about it. The ones who mind don't matter and the ones who matter won't mind, as they say. (As an aside--keep in mind that the hot bartender is talking to you because ignoring customers is not an option, not because she's interested in you. Never, ever, ever chat up a bartender with any real expectations. As a matter of fact, just be considerate and leave her alone altogether.)

If you want to look smart and brainy and a little bit deranged/neurotic, bring a journal and write in it. Even better, sit in the bar and draw. Like a puppy in the park, there's no greater people magnet than a guy drawing in a bar, and no one wonders why you're there on your own. Everybody wants to know what you're drawing, what you're doing it for, what other sort of stuff you draw. There's also probably nothing more attractive to girls than a guy who's so into his own thing that he can't be bothered to perve on the girls, ironically, this will make them want to tackle the challenge of making you pay more attention to them than to your art. Go get em, tiger!

4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

I think going out alone is fine but it's not anywhere near as common here as it is in some other countries. Even in college people tended more to form groups and go out together or have parties at home with invited friends. A huge difference to studying in the UK where you just went to one of the local pubs and knew there would be people to chatter with.

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted

Haha. I feel weird going out to a bar alone. You see it in movies and shows, and it either looks cool, or really sad. Still, I do it sometimes, but I tend to keep to myself and just watch people.

And, no, I am not a serial killer.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now