Military or boarding schools

31 posts in this topic

Posted

Hello Everyone,

I have a friend who has a troubled son and she's been searching for military/boarding schools here in Germany. I've been trying to help with her search but I'm not very familiar with military schools and I'm not exactly sure where to look.

I was wondering does anyone know of any military/boarding schools for troubled kids here in Germany?

She has pretty much exhausted all other options, so this is it.

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Posted

Make sure you don't choose one where they have to wear brown shirts...

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Posted

Thank you Bipa and Martina

This information was very helpful. We greatly appreciate it ^_^

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Posted

Make sure you don't choose one where they have to wear brown shirts...

That's only in Dresden, Oklahoma city, Tulsa, and Lawton. Anyway....Go Horns!

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Posted

As far as I know, there is only one boarding school specifically for badly troubled kids here in Germany.

There are dozens of them. They usually charge tuition on a medium five-digit figure scale. Got one less than 5 km from here. Abysmally low rates on the kids getting the Abitur their parents want of course.

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Posted

They can also look into a boot camp program to try to turn the kid around. I have seen TV shows about the like but they say afterwards, they should go to a boarding school anyway or they will likely fall into the same pattern with their old buddies.

If they don't have the cash, they could try the strengsten eltern TV show but I kind of doubt it is enough time to really change the kids.

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Posted

My parents always threatened to send me to a Jesuit school, and I bet there's plenty of those south of the Weisswurstäquator... however, considering the recent revelations of their extra-curricular offerings, may not be such a great idea these days

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Posted

My sister in law went here. She was having a hard time adjusting to the local German school having recently moved back to Germany from the UK at 14 years old. Anyways, she completed her Abitur successfully. It is a private boarding school 15km from Fulda.

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Posted

Define "troubled". Our oldest hit puberty and just became extremely lazy. We all, including him, decided that a boarding school might be able to provide him with the assistance that we couldn't provide him. It had mixed results so far. He didn't get that "abitur" that we were shooting for, but he got the "mittlere Reife" and, here's the important part, he became much more independent and self-sufficient. He also learned that money doesn't grow on trees and basically tries to live within the allowance that I give him. He does dip into the buffer money that I always have on his account a bit more often than I would like, but generally sticks within his budget.

Maybe a normal boarding school would be enough to get this kid on track, and would probably be cheaper than the ones that specialise in problem children. I pay high 4 figures to keep him there, or low 5 figures with his allowance, not the middle 5 figures that someone mentioned for the troubled kids boarding schools.

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Posted

There are dozens of them. They usually charge tuition on a medium five-digit figure scale. Got one less than 5 km from here. Abysmally low rates on the kids getting the Abitur their parents want of course.

That isn't a proper military or boarding school. It is simply a temporary holding pen for kids whose parents can't be bothered.

A good military or boarding school will have a reputation for getting good results academically and socially, and have high rates of kids graduating, though not necessarily Abitur.

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Posted

If drug use is part of the problem, that creates a whole new set of recommendations.

@Bipa

I'm not familiar with residential schools for severely troubled teens that get great results regarding schooling. Or even great results at turning kids lives around. For those of us who had to make the very difficult choice to send our kids away in order to keep them out of jail and alive, the worst part was dealing with friends/family who exhibited your "parents who can't be bothered" attitude. In my experience, parents tried absolutely EVERYTHING to help their kids before making the hardest choice ever. Most were greatly let down by the whole social, medical and legal systems in the U.S. and had to do what would save their children. Many sold their homes and cashed in their life savings and retirement funds to save their kids.

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Posted

A good military or boarding school will have a reputation for getting good results academically and socially

That's not a "good" boarding school, that's one that fulfills the expectations of the parents paying to get a certain "boxed" result. It still remains a holding pen for children the parents do not want to deal with on certain levels. Good social results? I would regard the "social services" Salem for example forces its pupils to do to be nothing else than making the kids "someone else's problem" for a couple hours per week.

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Posted

@fraufruit

WTF are you going on about?! First of all, there is quite a difference between "good" and "great". Secondly, you are making stuff up about my own attitude towards boarding schools. Have you forgotten that I was the primary family contact for my German niece who went to a private boarding school near me?

What do you think about parents who send their kids to a school with an "abysmal" record like the one Kato mentioned?

Got one less than 5 km from here. Abysmally low rates on the kids getting the Abitur their parents want of course.

This is what I was responding to, which is why I quoted it in my last post and am quoting it yet again since it seems you missed it.

In my previous post, I gave a link to a web site which included all sorts of information about various boarding schools, including contact information for someone who could help advise parents. What does that tell you about my attitude?

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Posted

Ex-boyfriend of mine went to one of the Bavarian Landschulheime. Think his family got support from the State so that he could go. He did eventually get his Abitur and a Wirtschaftsingenieurwesen degree from Karlsruhe, despite being a right tearaway when younger.

Actually he was a right handful at uni too. Still passed, but.

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Posted

Bipa

I truly applaud you for your loving support of your niece and her family.

I take issue with the term - "temporary holding pen for kids whose parents can't be bothered"

I administrate a private board for parents who found it necessary to send their teens away. I deal with these families every day. Witnessing the escorts coming into their homes and taking their kids in the middle of the night is one of the most upsetting things any parent can go through. Often, close relatives and friends don't get it and abandon these parents at a time when they need the most support. In their view, "the parents couldn't be bothered" or gave up on their kids. This attitude prevents many parents from doing what is necessary to save their kids. For some it is an image thing.

After the escort procedure, these parents suffer with guilt and grieve their kids being away for up to 3 years. It is another one of those things that is tough to imagine if you never had to do it.

I am accountable for my reaction to your post. My reply came naturally. I hope that some can learn from it.

Peace

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Posted

That's not a "good" boarding school, that's one that fulfills the expectations of the parents paying to get a certain "boxed" result. It still remains a holding pen for children the parents do not want to deal with on certain levels. Good social results? I would regard the "social services" Salem for example forces its pupils to do to be nothing else than making the kids "someone else's problem" for a couple hours per week.

Kato, you do realise that all schools rated as good or excellent fulfill the expectations of whoever is paying whether society (public schools) or parents (private schools). <_<

@fraufruit

Then you should be in an excellent position to know that there are parents who simply can't be bothered, just as there are other parents who are deeply committed. My comment wasn't a general one about all parents of all troubled teens, but specifically about parents who are willing to pay 30k plus in tuition for a school that already has an abysmal reputation.

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Posted

Thanks. I'm sure you are correct. I am only in contact with parents from about 12 different facilities. There were the few that chose out of doing the parent seminars which were an integral part of the program. Can't expect the kids to change if nothing at home changes. Granted, some couldn't afford the expense of attending - flights, hotels, time off work, etc.

30k? That's fairly cheap. Of course, some schools include therapy and others don't - it costs extra.

Back to the thread.

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Posted

fraufruit, you are primarily dealing with parents who are already showing a strong commitment to helping their children or else they wouldn't be in touch with your organisation in the first place. These are the same sort of loving parents at their wits end like the ones mentioned by the original poster, who are actively searching for a way to deal with the problem.

I have quite a bit of experience dealing with kids and adults who have psychological and psychiatric problems. It can be tremendously difficult to coordinate police, social workers, hospitals and medical personnel, educators, and family not to mention friends and acquaintances. Here in Germany it is made even worse by the whole "Rabenmutter" concept, making it even more difficult for a family to send a child away for any reason.

There are no simple solutions, but sending a child to a boarding school with an abysmal reputation isn't one of them, regardless of the cost of tuition.

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Posted

you could always look to Switzerland , the international school in Basel provides for boarding

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Posted

Define "troubled".

I should have mentioned that he is a 7yr old boy.

From my experience and from what I've been told by her, he is pretty disruptive in school. For instance, he curses at other children calling them "wixxer" and arschloch", he puts up his middle finger at other people, he yells at his teachers and talks back. If he doesn't get his way he falls out on the floor and leaves the classroom... and that's just in school. He has no respect for anyone and lies about everything. She also told me that he pees on the bathroom floor instead of in the toilet. She's afraid and she doesn't know what to do.

She has tried family counseling and putting him in after school programs because she thought maybe it was just the amount of energy he had but it is clearly something else.

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Posted

Does he suffer from dyslexia, ADHD, learning difficulties, an Autistic Spectrum disorder or any of the myriad of other disorders which can manifest as "troubled behaviour", including recovering from a traumatic experience. Always best to understand the problem before trying to fix it.

I'm not sure. I would have to ask her. She had him in counseling for a while but that didn't seem to help. The counselor didn't really get to the bottom of it. She told me he's pretty manipulative so he could have told the counselor what he/she wanted to hear...

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Posted

Just a quick comment this kid has either really crappy parents or has mental problems, sounds like a little Pyschopath, so don't worry he may turn out to be a success in life and have a good career in politics or banking. Experts say that if a child is a psychopath that "warm parenting is the best, this is basically means bribing him. hopefully it is just lack of discipline and not any real mental health problem, that could be solved with consistent enforecement of clear rules.

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