No, this is unlikely. The card is printed in Berlin which is a problem for us non-Berliners, but in your case it should come a bit faster. Wait for the letter, you should receive a PIN letter first, when you get it, call the ABH.
It's a shame that the officer didn't explain all this to you.
Alles klar, you're just used to stickers which are placed instantly. These times are away, now you need to wait for your card (which is actually handy and has online ID function similar to that in German personal ID). As I wrote, this takes time, so next time apply 2 months in advance.
The question is, did you have your permit as a sticker or as a card? Because now you can only get a card which is printed centrally by Bundesdruckerei, hence it takes one or two months. Because your permit was about to expire you got Fiktionsbescheinigung which confirms legality of your stay until you get your card.
So, it's nothing bad, just wait for your permit to arrive.
Of course, the secret services in Europe can obtain personal data of citizens, too. However, they have less rights than those in the US because there is no Patriot Act in Europe and there is less security paranoia in general.
On the other hand, I have had sad experience of receiving spam mail sent by Swiss company (on request of German company). When I demanded to delete it, the German company replied that they don't have any personal data of me. Of course, they didn't as they stored my data in Switzerland. I had to send a mail there to have it deleted.
Now imagine that your data is stored in the United States and you have to request its removal by sending not so cheap mail to the US.
The issue as you see is totally not about secret surveillance.
Flags of Donetsk "People's Republic" disappeared from the former government buildings. I don't know what does it mean, but this is definitely an interesting event which could have some consequences. Source (Russian): http://lifedon.com.ua/society/society_miscellaneous/25910-na-byvshey-donoga-ischezli-flagi-respubliki.html
1. The Finanzamt doesn't automatically inform the Ausländerbehörde about your tax classes. And even if this were the case legally you're married until the divorce process is finished, so the spouse residence permit will remain valid until you're completely divorced. You wife now has a right for unrestricted work permit, so she will apply for it after divorce.
1a. You both should get class I. Class IV is reserved for those married couples who have more or less the same income.
2. I don't think you have any ground regarding breach of privacy. She can say that you allowed looking for e-mails, reading SMS etc. Because if you didn't then any security expert will have a question why did you left all your accounts unprotected? The answer "because I trust her" isn't acceptable one. If you trust then you automatically accept that you can't sue this person for breach of privacy.
Nope. That's the whole sense of being in the EU that's you don't pay VAT or customs fees.
Unfortunately, I can't answer your other questions but I think that the answer to this Is "no, you can't". You pay VAT where you buy it. If you buy in Germany, you pay German VAT, if you buy in Italy, you pay Italian VAT.